Insideout Conversations

I've been thinking about something that I can give that would be of service and healing and support during these holiday seasons that we are in, as well as being in the season in ways that we never have been in the seasons before.

It's been a long time and we have all, I'm sure, done our very best to try to stay sane and focused and positive... at least sometimes. And it's still been hard.

And so what my gift to you during this holiday season is a "Holiday Mini" pod series -- all about little ways that you can stay in touch with you, that you can gift yourself with self-care.

In this episode, I'm sharing a personal story and the following holiday treat:

Take care of yourself. Ask for what you need.

Notice if what you're angry about is something that you are participating in yourself.

Become curious -- Is there something that I can do to decrease the stress and increase the self care, and the love, and the quality of engagement with those that I'm spending the holidays with?

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I invite you to come on in and join the conversation. If this conversation has brought you to an insight, a story, a sense of relief, please email me at [email protected] with the subject "Holiday Mini."

Take care be well. And remember, it's YOUR time off, too!

Lisa

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Connect with us:

[email protected]

Lovely Space Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2331858480409324

Lisa on Facebook: @lisalackeyconversations 

Instagram: @lisalackey60

LinkedIn: Lisa Lackey

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Insideout Conversations is edited by The Creative Impostor Studios.

Theme music is by Nicholas77 at freesound.org and is licensed under the Creative Commons.

Learn more about Lisa and her clinical practice, Insideout Living: https://www.insideoutrecovery.com/  

Continuing our series on black women, racism, and trauma, I want to talk about tears.

For some reason, years and years ago, I became interested in tears -- not just what they were chemically made of, but also the conceptions and misconceptions and what causes them, what silences them, what dries them up, what allows them to flow.

And so I thought about the tears of black women and how much those tears were measured over the years. By measured, I mean, where they were stopped before they were completed -- simply because there was no time, simply because the next thing was calling, simply because there was another impact of trauma that called for a different response.

I wonder how many tears are locked up in our eyes and in our bodies, in the very soul of who we are. I wonder how many leftover tears we have from our mothers, our grandmothers, our great grandmothers, our great, great grandmothers, and ancestors as far back as time.

I wonder if the tears that we haven’t cried could fill every body of water that we know of throughout the world. Probably more, probably more...

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I invite you to come on in and join the conversation. If this conversation has brought you to an insight, a story, a suggestion, please email me at [email protected]

In your subject put “tears” so that I know to give special attention to that email.

Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy it with your family. Be safe. Don’t take unnecessary risks. Be creative so that we can do our part in coming together again.

Lisa

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Subscribe here for courses, events, webinars & more here

https://mailchi.mp/insideoutrecovery/waitlist

Connect with us:

[email protected]

Lovely Space Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2331858480409324

Lisa on Facebook: @lisalackeyconversations 

Instagram: @lisalackey60

LinkedIn: Lisa Lackey

***

Insideout Conversations is edited by The Creative Impostor Studios.

Theme music is by Nicholas77 at freesound.org and is licensed under the Creative Commons.

Learn more about Lisa and her clinical practice, Insideout Living: https://www.insideoutrecovery.com/  

We are living in this time where we are at a crossroads. We can decide to be lukewarm or take a stand, but in-between is no longer an option.

So as I think about racism and black women, I can't help but think about how we view our bodies, both historically and currently, as it relates to what information has tried to be downloaded into our self-esteem for years and years and years and years and years.

Our physical bodies and our spiritual bodies have been impacted by trauma. The assumption is that black women are strong and so therefore "she can take it." The nicknames that are given to our body parts, the objectification of our curvy figures and the cruel jokes about our butts that stick out are all "just in fun" because certainly black women can't be hurt. "She can take it" because she's strong -- strong, beyond human strength.

We have to ask is it an assumption, or is it an excuse or outlandish treatment?

In this episode, I’m starting a story of a black woman, a queen, Sarah 'Saartjie’ Baartman, born in 1789, who was trafficked, brutally abused, and whose remains were put on display in a museum for decades to come.

It is not easy to hear. I share this with you because I want us to help Sarah Baartman to rest in peace by returning to ourselves without apology, and to carry ourselves as the phenomenal women we are.

I invite you to come on in and join the conversation. If this story resonates with you, email me [email protected].

I want to hear from those who are struggling and living outside of their identity and into the names that have been given that are not true.

I want to hear how you are coming back to YOUR identity, or maybe you already have and can share what that path has been.

In the subject line, I want you to put 'Warrior Queen." And then if you're able to put the little crown symbol in that subject line.

I look forward to continuing the conversation with you.

Peace and Blessings,

Lisa

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Subscribe here for courses, events, webinars & more here

https://mailchi.mp/insideoutrecovery/waitlist

Connect with us:

[email protected]

Lovely Space Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2331858480409324

Lisa on Facebook: @lisalackeyconversations 

Instagram: @lisalackey60

LinkedIn: Lisa Lackey

***

Insideout Conversations is edited by The Creative Impostor Studios.

Theme music is by Nicholas77 at freesound.org and is licensed under the Creative Commons.

Learn more about Lisa and her clinical practice, Insideout Living: https://www.insideoutrecovery.com/  

There are traumas that everyone recognizes. If you're in a house fire, you are aware of all that it took to escape that house fire. If there were major damages, or losses of people or animals, you know that that was a traumatic event.

Another traumatic event is feeling different, feeling like your difference isn't seen, heard, respected or understood -- and in that difference feeling as though you don't fit in and experiencing, for example, an internalized loneliness.

So many of my experiences as a black woman and as a black child -- there was always either a spotlight on me or no light at all. And that left me not feeling that in public, my difference was a good thing. 

What I also found out is that even if I had the care and love of family, once I went beyond those doors and further and further into life, often, those good and true and solid messages got drowned out by the louder voices of some message that my blackness was less than not important, as not necessarily taken seriously, or the opposite -- seen as different, meaning “not like the other black people” that they've met.

As a teacher, I know the impact of trauma on our opportunity to live the life we have on our vision board or in our minds. And I know that trauma can be healed.

In this episode, I’m starting a conversation with you about black women, racism and trauma to remind us of things that we’ve forgotten and to create space to share our experiences, strength and hope.

I invite you to come on in and join the conversation.

***

Subscribe here for courses, events, webinars & more here

https://mailchi.mp/insideoutrecovery/waitlist

Connect with us:

[email protected] 

Lovely Space Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2331858480409324

Lisa on Facebook: @lisalackeyconversations 

Instagram: @lisalackey60

LinkedIn: Lisa Lackey

***

Insideout Conversations is edited by The Creative Impostor Studios.

Theme music is by Nicholas77 at freesound.org and is licensed under the Creative Commons.

Learn more about Lisa and her clinical practice, Insideout Living: https://www.insideoutrecovery.com/  

Today I'm talking with producer and director Laurice Bell. We go way back to our roots in Evanston, IL. We begin this conversation with the word "Sawubana", a Zulu greeting for "we see you" to talk about being in community at these times. 

Laurice's podcast is Evanston Rules. Find it at https://www.evanstonrules.com

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Watch for our online course Teaching White People Empathy

Subscribe here for courses, events, webinars & more here

https://mailchi.mp/insideoutrecovery/waitlist

Connect with us:

[email protected] 

Lovely Space Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2331858480409324

Lisa on Facebook: @lisalackeyconversations 

Instagram: @lisalackey60

LinkedIn: Lisa Lackey

***

Insideout Conversations is edited by The Creative Impostor Studios.

Theme music is by Nicholas77 at freesound.org and is licensed under the Creative Commons.

Learn more about Lisa and her clinical practice, Insideout Living: https://www.insideoutrecovery.com/  

I catch up with my dear friend, Dr. Julie Ann Gray, about what it's like to be a clinician during these times of shelter-in-place and the amplification of racism in our country.

Julie's book Diva Five Alive: Letters to My Sisters is available now.

***

Watch for our online course Teaching White People Empathy

Subscribe here for courses, events, webinars & more here

https://mailchi.mp/insideoutrecovery/waitlist

Connect with us:

[email protected] 

Facebook: @lisalackeyconversations 

Instagram: @lisalackey60

LinkedIn: Lisa Lackey

***

Insideout Conversations is edited by The Creative Impostor Studios.

Theme music is by Nicholas77 at freesound.org and is licensed under the Creative Commons.

Learn more about Lisa and her clinical practice, Insideout Living: https://www.insideoutrecovery.com/  

I had the honor to join trauma expert, author and clinician, Dierdre Fay on her YouTube channel where she invited me to talk about the traumatic impact of racism.

In this episode, you will hear some of my own experiences, some of the experiences of family members, some history, some hopes, and some challenges.

While I agree 100% that policies, procedures, legislation -- all kinds of renewing needs to happen in our systems and around our systems, that we need to dismantle systems and to grow new systems, I believe that that is almost secondary.

And what is primary is reaching the heart of people who have continued to turn a blind eye consciously and unconsciously. We need a soul revival, a place where hearts are renewed and transformed. That I believe is the greater work and the hardest work.

However, I am extremely hopeful.  So take a listen, I hope you'll resonate.

***

Watch for our online course Teaching White People Empathy

Subscribe here for courses, events, webinars & more here

https://mailchi.mp/insideoutrecovery/waitlist

Connect with us:

[email protected] 

Facebook: @lisalackeyconversations 

Instagram: @lisalackey60

LinkedIn: Lisa Lackey

***

Insideout Conversations is edited by The Creative Impostor Studios.

Theme music is by Nicholas77 at freesound.org and is licensed under the Creative Commons.

Learn more about Lisa and her clinical practice, Insideout Living: https://www.insideoutrecovery.com/  

I must look.

“To avoid pain is to avoid growth and challenge and to avoid looking is to lose an opportunity for empathy and to avoid looking is also to avoid being authentic in my emotional responses to racism.” ~Lisa Lackey 

A teachable moment...

“While my intentions were good & my heart was in the right place. I unfortunately made a thousand errors in facilitating that conversation. And I'm very grateful to my students because it opened up a real, really uncomfortable conversation that continued with two classes. I was confronted with my own white privilege, white superiority, white fragility.” ~Joyce Marter

Consider the motivation driving your work in becoming anti racist

“I think when you talk about white feminists or white people in general, particularly women, I think we could be channeling our outrage about everything going on, maybe into racial justice. I do think there is, even an energy, that is about the energy of being part of this big movement.” ~Laura Tanner

Honestly, this is just a tiny, tiny tip of the iceberg of black people and white people having a conversation about racism. Insideout Conversations is committed to the messiness of healing & to the repair. We can deeply sabotage healing if we don’t trust the process of transformation.

We hope you will continue this conversation with your friends, with courage and honesty.

***

Watch for our online course Teaching White People Empathy

Subscribe here for courses, events, webinars & more here

➡️https://mailchi.mp/insideoutrecovery/waitlist

Connect with us:

[email protected] 

Facebook: @lisalackeyconversations 

Instagram: @lisalackey60

LinkedIn: Lisa Lackey

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If you are a white person, I want to leave you with this question:

How would you respond differently if George Floyd was your family member and he was just one of many that were murdered by the police ?been my son, my husband, my brother ?

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Insideout Conversations is edited by The Creative Impostor Studios.

Theme music is by Nicholas77 at freesound.org and is licensed under the Creative Commons.

Learn more about Lisa and her clinical practice, Insideout Living: https://www.insideoutrecovery.com/  

Insideout Conversations has a renewed purpose! My husband and business partner Steve Lackey and I want to really focus the conversations around healing and healing through empathy. And for right now, we're really looking at empathy as it relates to racism and all the things that are going on around it. So we're hoping to invite you into our conversation.

Conversations can be a place of learning and growing and stretching. Conversations can be uncomfortable and messy. But what we know is that if we don't have them, then we'll remain stuck with all the things that make up our assumptions. And what brought us here has kept us here in so many ways.

White people have asked over & over, "How do we support the movement?"

Our response has been formatted into a 5 module course that addresses this question. The answer: be willing to learn EMPATHY.

Yes, empathy can be taught to hearts willing to be broken open by the felt experience of black people. 

Racism is multi-layered. Unless there is a willingness to really see African American people, the system will live in hearts even if laws are changed. 

Subscribe here to join the waitlist for the course: https://mailchi.mp/insideoutrecovery/waitlist

You'll get access to registration, resources, and events.

Returning to "normal" is delusional. That path is quickly evaporating. Who will you be? How will you live? What needs to change in you? What is your hope? TOGETHER IN EMPATHY WE HEAL.

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Special thanks to our sponsor and editors The Creative Impostor Studios. Andrea is offering a special Launch Your Podcast class online via Zoom July 9, 2020 -- perfect if you have something passionate to say and are feeling stuck, or don't know where to begin. Register by July 2nd to get your ticket for FREE at http://www.thecreativeimpostor.com/insideoutlaunch

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Theme music is by Nicholas77 at freesound.org and is licensed under the Creative Commons.

Learn more about Lisa and her clinical practice, Insideout Living: https://www.insideoutrecovery.com/  

Have you been noticing the different shifts that you have been experiencing since COVID-19 ?

It’s been pretty interesting living & observing my highs, lows & in betweens. There’s so much to learn about myself, my relationships, habits and patterns that pop up in the midst of profound uncertainty.

My hope for me and you, is that we remember we are living in global trauma, & processing that is impossible, while in the midst of trauma. I hope we remember to be gentle with ourselves & others, recognizing trauma brings on many different responses & often feels like those responses are all happening at the same time. I hope we remember to acknowledge the pain of trauma and the blessings that surface.

Please listen & reflect on what it’s like to be you as you are living in and through this trauma called the pandemic.

So far, this is a summary of what it's been like sheltering in place with myself. Behind the scenes. You are the beloved. And I will talk with you soon. 

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Connect with Lisa:

Women who long to be reminded of our magnificence, realigned with purpose and challenged to imprint the world, as only we can -- who are ready to learn, practice and share RADICAL SELF LOVE as a revolutionary act of healing self and others, request to join us in Lovely Space on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2331858480409324/

http://www.insideoutconversations.com

Facebook @lisalackeyconversations

Instagram @lisalackey60

Edited by Andrea Klunder and Edwin Ruiz at The Creative Impostor Studios. Theme music is by Nicholas77 at freesound.org and is licensed under the Creative Commons.

Learn more about Lisa and her clinical practice, Insideout Living: https://www.insideoutrecovery.com/