Intellectual Erection

On this episode I speak with Elva, who shares her experiences of slowly emerging out of her shell from an environment of sex negativity and her need to destroy her former self in order to find authenticity and create the life she wants to live.

Elva discusses having been brought up in a religious and cultural environment that made her feel ashamed about her desires, pushed her to conform, get married, only to finally come to a breaking point and force a change through affairs and infidelity, effectively destroying her past. She then began to explore her sexuality, relationships, sensuality, and the importance of meaningful relationships of love and sex inspired by Tantra. Elva talks about her cathartic experience coming into the sex positive communities and being part of a thruple with former Intellectual Erection guests Greg and Edith.

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On this episode I speak with Hailey and Chris, a couple who share their experiences of having come from very different backgrounds, ethnically, culturally, and geographically, and have endured different forms of adversity that have strengthened them and brought them together to share their joy of liberation and sex positivity.

If you want to hear what strength over adversity sounds like, listen to Hailey’s story of overcoming cancer and thereafter using that experience to take charge of her body and identity and forge who she wanted to become. Listen to Chris’s story of growing up in a conservative-minded small town, being bullied and shamed to eventually leave for the big city and find a source of liberation and welcoming support in Hailey. Together Chris and Hailey found authenticity through each other, open mindedness, and loving support. They had differing experiences of adversity, but have both become strong, humbled, and loving humans as a result of their past, and now share a bond together that is open to navigating the sex positive communities.

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On this episode Alice takes us down her academic S&M rabbit hole where she discusses her work in women’s studies on the phenomenology of sadomasochism. Through the academic discussion we find incredible humour, playfulness, some seriousness, and even an uncompromising ethics.

Alice discusses her academic writing and her thesis that the taboo of sadomasochism derives from the existence of latent sociopolitical power relations that are made visible through the exercise of S&M. She argues that the erotic lies at the core of these unequal power relations because of their danger, thus making them exciting to play out in our sexual fantasies and more so in our sexual lives. She also discusses notions of identity, consent, and polyamory in a very playful and humorous style that lightens up the seriousness of these dense and sensitive topics. Overall, we get a translation of some academic work in women’s studies focusing on S&M from a fun and bubbly human.

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On this episode I speak with Amy and Rob, a polyamorous couple who work together in a sex club and have quite a few stories about navigating their relationships, how they were introduced into the sex positive communities, and the fun and messy parts of working in a sex club.

Amy and Rob share their stories with us about being initiated into the sex positive communities through relationships with interesting and caring people they’ve met early on in their lives. They’ve been in the communities for over a decade, navigating fetish events, sex clubs, and poly relationships. They discuss relationship anarchy, their preferred form of polyamory, and what that means for them, their other partners, and their emotional bond. Finally, they share some hilarious stories from inside the bowels of the sex clubs that are certain to make you laugh, or cringe.

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On this episode I speak with Kit, a creative mixed bag of wonder, from being a daddy, a little, a dominatrix, kitty, web cam model, burlesque performer, masseuse, and spiritualist, to an overall fun and loving human who isn’t shy to talk about their multifarious identities and experiences.

Kit opens up about some serious issues as well, like rape and mental health, and how these experiences have shaped who they have become, where they found strength in adversity, and how they’ve managed to overcome the suffering to be able to love, feel empowered, and share in sex positivity. Kit has a creative spirit that is brought to the forefront of their performativity in burlesque, stripping, drag shows, spectator sex, and web cam shows, as well as their most recent venture into spiritual meditation, tarot card readings, and massage.

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On this episode I speak with Ace Allure, a professional tease, event coordinator and aquaflirt at Oasis Aqualounge, and burlesque performer, who opens up about how she became involved with the sex positive communities from an early age and what these experiences have helped her discover.

Ace discusses her work and what she does at Oasis, the events she runs and participates in, and how her work helps fulfill the ever growing list of kinks she’s developed and discovered. She talks about her early sexual experiences and her very early interest in all things kinky and sexy, and how she began to realize that these experiences were accessible and eventually liberating. Ace is not shy about her love of all things pervy and her joy in exploring her body and celebrating pleasure in her weird and wonderfully sadistic ways.

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On this episode I speak with Ashley, a webcam model, rope bottom, and overall kinky and sex positive human, who talks about her experiences entering into kink and bondage, and mastering sexual self-control through edging and periodic abstinence.

Ashley talks about her early desires to be bound and restrained and how these manifested into her life almost by chance. She discusses how she found out about rope bottoming and what the experience was like for her. She talks about her work as a webcam model, and examines her sexual practices, like edging and denial as a spiritual form of sexual self-mastery. Ashley also opens up about polyamory, what it means for her, and how it liberated her from a feeling of feeling constrained, so that she could seek her desired constraints in bondage.

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On this episode I speak with Pandora, a book keeper and personal trainer who has spent much of her life denying her polyamorous inclinations for the sake of satisfying the norms she grew up with surrounding love, sex, and pleasure.

Pandora opens up about her experiences having been married and monogamous for most of her life, and having felt that she fundamentally denied her deeper desires to explore her sexuality, sex, pleasure, and the liberty to love multiple people. She examines the norms and pressures that prevented her from seeking multiple romantic relationships, which had for a long time been deeply rooted in her being. She talks about marriage and the performance of the good wife, while putting her own needs on the backburner, which have now become available once again after her divorce, and the challenges she now faces navigating the sex positive communities and poly relationships.

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On this episode I speak with Lauren, an artist who crafts leatherwear, performs burlesque, is involved with the burning man community, and navigates the sometimes murky waters of poly, kink, and BDSM.

Lauren talk to us about her work, what she enjoys most about creating, both in her workshop and on stage, and how her artistic life intersects with the sex positive communities. She examines the sometimes unpleasant aspects of navigating poly, kink, and BDSM, and opens up about how poor consent and dangerous practices in these communities can turn people away and make them hesitant to participate and to feel safe enjoying play.

Find Lauren's work on:

IG: @lavishleather

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On this episode I speak with Kat, an academic and sex therapist who offers some insight into why sex positivity is important for her, and how it helped shape her career choice and relationships.

Kat discusses her academic and personal interests in polyamory, kink, and BDSM, although given her profession as a sex therapist, she ends up mostly questioning me. We discuss the nuances of polyamory and how it plays out in relationships, how people turn to polyamory as an independent choice and how sometimes people may see it as a way to solve issues in their existing monogamous relationships. Overall we get some insight on sex and relationships from someone who works with couples and issues around sex for a living.

Find Kat @ https://www.katkovatherapy.com/

Support Intellectual Erection at:

patreon.com/intellectualerection