Welcome to Interesting If True, the podcast that promises 2021 will be a better year… and if you believe that, we’re also the podcast that would love to sell you some swamp land in the sahara…

I'm your host this week, Aaron, and with here, the only place you’ll find this particular cryptid, Shea the Yeti—and his little fluff too!

I'm Shea, and this week I learned that this is the first time a sitting president has been banned from Twitter going back to 1812.

I’m Jenn and this week I learned that Dire wolves aren’t actually wolves at all. They are actually more closely related to jackals, and broke off from the lineage with wolves millions of years ago. So, something...something...you REALLY no nothing Jon Snow.

Rough Seas Ahead…

Despite my plucky intro 2021 has already told 2020 to hold its beer so we may as well sit back and watch as Rome burns—or to make it relevant to today’s story, play on as the ship sinks…

Lots of ships have sunk, but few as impressively as the Doña Paz.

You may have heard the story of the Doña Paz wreck as it was the most deadly wreck of a ship not at war. That record, in the 20th century anyway, goes to the Spanish Castillo de Olite which sank on the 7th of March, 1939, taking 1,476 of her 2,112 sailors to Davy Jones' Locker. Still, the Doña Paz would have beat that handily.

For you history buffs Wikipedia lists the Battle of Tsushima as the 20th centuries deadliest nautical event. In the Russo-Japanese War between 1904-1905 two-thirds of Russia’s fleet was lost along with 4,380 sailors. 5,917 more were captured. So that’s all… horrible.

Still, the Doña Paz… just barely wins this entirely dreadful race as well.

Also known as “Asia’s Titanic” the Doña Paz took four thousand, three hundred, and thirty-six down with her—nearly 3 times as many as the Titanic.

So, what happened?

First, the Doña Paz was launched on April 25th, 1963 from Hiroshima, Japan, as the Himeyuri Maru. Which had a passenger capacity of 608. In October of 1975 it was purchased by Suplicio Lines and renamed the Don Suuplicio. Following a fire it was restored and renamed Doña Paz.

It made a ferry circuit of Manila → Tacloban → Catbalogan → Manila twice a week. On December 20th, 1987, the Doña Paz left Leyte island for the capital, Manila. Officially, the Doña Paz could carry 1,518 passengers and it’s sixty six crew members. However, most sources I found noted that this official passenger manifest—listing 1,493 people—didn’t include the nearly 1000 children under four on board, nore did it list the battalion of soldiers they picked up at the last minute because “why the hell not.”

So the Doña Paz set off on the last leg of its journey with an estimated 4,386 passengers. Which is, by my math, way, way, too many. Apparently, people were packed into the vessel’s three levels so tightly that it was standing-room-only on basically every flat surface except the bridge. One survivor, Luthgardo Niedo, a military officer said “it was so crowded, the Doña Paz tilted to one side” reasoning it was only slight overcrowding for Christmas.

Now, I mention the bridge because, like the Titanic we know and love to make movies about, there was negligence afoot in the form of a f*cking rager. The Captain and some of the crew, along with a number of the military men, were rocking out on the bridge. This left the job of… steering the ship… to the much less experienced… whoever drew the short straw.

Luthgardo recounts meeting another soldier at the side of the vessel… the bathrooms being full of people as well. While they warmed the water the soldier told him “I heard some music and laughter. [...] The captain of the ship was at the party,” the other soldier being there to break the seal. Fortunately for Luthgardo,

Welcome to Interesting If True, the only podcast that made it through 2020.

I'm your host this week, Shea, and with me is the ever present Aaron!

I’m Aaron, and this week I learned that operating a pyramid scheme makes you a terrible business person… unless your business is ye-olde Egyption real estate development.

This week's show is made up of mini-stories. We had a lot of bits and bobbles—and beers—laying around so we thought we'd paste them up into a variety show of sorts. Let us know what you think of the "new headlines" ;)

Ridiculous Reports

Today is going to be a bit different. I have been saving stories for the past year that are just too short for a full episIde, so to clear out my story folder here are some awesome quick interesting but Trues…

France in the 1500’s probably wasn’t the most fun place in the 16th century but if you were a king you could get some pretty good entertainment on Knave-flix. King Louis the 12th and Francis the first had good taste and employed the great jester, Nicolas Ferrial.

Nicolas Ferrial, also known as Le Févrial or Triboulet, was one of the most celebrated jesters in history. He had all of the qualities necessary in a good court jester, most importantly, the gift of quick wit. This wit not only made him successful but it also nearly resulted in his doom. Fortunately, that very same wit ultimately saved his life.

His ability to get himself in trouble was legendary. Once a nobleman was upset about being made the butt of Triboulet’s jokes and threatened to kill the jester. Triboulet ran to the king, telling him that the man was planning on hanging him. The king attempted to calm the jester, saying, “Don’t worry! If he hangs you I’ll have him beheaded fifteen minutes later.” Triboulet retorted, “Well, would it be possible to behead him 15 minutes before?”

This would not be the joke that made him most famous though, Triboulet’s sense of frivolity got out of control, and he slapped the king on the royal bum. The monarch lost his temper and threatened to execute Triboulet. A bit later, the monarch calmed down a little and promised to forgive Triboulet if he could think of an apology more insulting than the offending deed. A few seconds later, Triboulet responded:

“I’m so sorry, your majesty, that I didn’t recognize you! I mistook you for the Queen!”

Ultimately, Triboulet’s joking went too far. He offended Francis I to the degree that the king ordered the execution of the jester. Out of recognition of the jester’s years of faithful service, however, the king granted Triboulet the right to choose the way he would die.

Triboulet lost no time in responding. “Good sire, for Saint Nitouche’s and Saint Pansard’s sake, patrons of insanity, I choose to die from old age.” Francis I found his response so hilarious that he commuted the death sentence and, instead, banished the jester from the realm.

[box type="warning"] [/box]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triboulet

There are all sorts of literary friendships in history. J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis. Jack Kerouac, Neal Cassady and Allen Ginsberg. The Algonquin Round Table. But they usually restricted themselves to literary pursuits. Not so with J.M. Barrie's crew, which was packed with famous names and almost no athletic ability. Why does athleticism come into this? Well Barrie drafted his crew, specifically, to play cricket.

J.M. Barrie loved cricket. He loved it so much he formed a cricket club in 1887. But he didn't pick his team based on athletic ability, no. That would be silly. Instead, he invited people based on a more eccentric set of criteria:

With regard to the married men,

Welcome to Interesting If True, the podcast that’s very pleased indeed to welcome you into 2021.

I'm your host this week, Aaron, and with me are the ghosts of 2020-podcastings past.

Unfortunately, 2020, like a gross rash, just keeps coming back and our year-end plan found itself in the dumpster-fire burning alongside all our other hopes, dreams, and aspirations for the year.

So send Shea and Jenn—who we thought were getting better, and Jim—who, insofar as I know, is getting better… all your funniest “get well soon”’s. Preferably in the form of 5-star reviews wherever you get your podcasts.

And since I recorded this intro a daring 24 hours before air-date, Steve’s probably fallen down and broken his tilapia or something, so him too. Seriously, the iTunes be barron.

But still, we won’t let 2020 win dammit!

So, befitting a scrambled dash to save a failed recording at the end of a failure of a year, I give you all the content that failed to become a podcast with this Best of 2020 Bloopers episode!

Let’s Do Shots!

KFC has a new shot that’s coming to bars near-ish you!

There’s been a growing trend for stock-tails, using broth in cocktails, over the last couple of years. “Bartenders are stirring and shaking animal stock and bone broth into cocktails served warm and chilled to add a new savory element to seasonal drinking,” according to a feature from Liquor.com on the trendy drink.

KFC cooked up three varieties of this new kind of drink: the Gravy Mary, Southern Twist and Fingerlickin’ Sour, with the tagline “Gravy so good you can drink it.”

“Our fans repeatedly express their love for our gravy, which always sparks ideas within the team. We know our gravy is good enough to drink – so with 'stock-tails' being a real hit at the moment, what better ingredient to take them to the next level?” Marion Racine, marketing manager at KFC UK & Ireland, told The Independent.

Ingredients:

* 20ml KFC Gravy

* 50ml vodka (optional)

* 90ml tomato juice

* 1 tsp horseradish cream

* 20ml worcester sauce

* 15ml lemon juice

* Hot sauce

* Paprika, celery salt, pepper

* Highball glass

* Ice

* Celery

* KFC Popcorn Chicken

Method:

* Put paprika, celery salt horseradish, hot sauce & Worcester sauce in a cocktail mixer.

* Add vodka (optional), lemon juice, tomato juice & KFC Gravy.

* Throw cocktail between two mixers.

* Pour over ice into a highball.

* Garnish with celery & KFC popcorn chicken.

Recipes for the other two cocktails can be found on Youtube.

So yeah. Basically, this is why America is the way it is...

Mid-Show Bumper

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You can contact us, find out more, and see what else we do at InterestingIfTrue.com

Thanks to the patron support of listeners like you Interesting If True is a proud supporter of Wyoming AIDS Assistance, a registered 501(c)3 charity that provides support to Wyomingites living with HIV/AIDS. Find out more at WyoAIDS.org and thank you for listening, sharing,

Welcome to Interesting If True, the podcast that fits perfectly in your stocking, right next to that moldy orange.

I'm your host this week, Aaron, and with me are Shea,

I'm Shea, and this week I learned that the moral of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is that no one likes you unless you’re useful.

I'm Steve, and I’m back baby!

Stuffed To The Stockings

I spent this last weekend making a few hundred cookies—also, team, I hope you like cookies cause that’s what you’re getting—and while Googling cookie recipes I also found… this stuff.

So, for a very 2020-appropriate holiday special, I bring you the worst things people might try to feed you on the longest night of the year…

Of course there are the staples like Fruitcake, which I think, might actually include staples.

This dense, flavorless, unforgiving calorie-brick only rears its ugly head on the holiday’s, a time when you’re supposed to show people that… you know… you like them. Still, the world is full of poor, missguided souls who think their friends and family actually want a savory cake so densely filled with canned fruit-cocktail rejects, ex-grapes, and bad liquor that they bend light and reason into their gravity well of terribleness.

The fruitcake tradition goes back to ancient Rome when people would make oat and barley cakes, just to make sure it was extra terrible I guess, and mix in pomegranate seeds, pine nuts, and raisins. Though, they could be forgiven because literally anything except dying of yee-oldie rot was the best thing in the world. Foruntantly, as a people we’ve… mostly figured out how to stop making everything a test of one’s mettle.

Unless you live in Australia that is, because in the land of literally-everything-is-trying-to-kill-you of course they consider fruitcake a year-round treat. I guess it is better than dying of dropbear STDs.

In Ireland the fruitcake will actually try to kill you. Apparently, it’s traditional to bake barmbrack on Hallowe’en with coins, rings, and other small choking hazards.

Ah shelf stable, open-air, bread. What could be better?

Booze.

It would seem that most fruitcake recipes and variations work in a great deal of alcohol. Usually the “fruit” is soaked for weeks before being used but in variations like those in the Anglophone Caribbean booze is an important ingredient because you’re trying to make, essentially, a very drunken English Christmas pudding log. Some recipes call for so much alcohol, and for the cake to be wrapped in an alcohol soaked cloth, that they’ll last more or less forever. For example, the Ford family in Tecumseh, Michigan considers the fruitcake their great, great, I-lost-count, great grandpa made in 1878 an family heirloom. They even got Jay Leno to eat a bit on air and he didn’t die, so that’s nice. The oldest consumable fruitcake on record is the 109-year-old cake discovered in 2017 by the Antarctic Heritage Trust.

And now that we’ve go to the obligatory “fruitcakes are terrible” story out of the way, let’s put something inside a seal.

Yep, as in a water-puppy.

This is Kiviak—or as it’s more commonly known, Satan’s Turkduken—is a traditional dish from Greenland. Apparently, Inuits needed a source of vitamins, minerals, and stank during the deep winter months so they did the only logical thing, they hollowed out a seal—their phrase, not mine—and filled up the seal-sack with four or five hundred dead Auk birds, beaks, feathers, feet and all. Auk birds are those tink, penguin-crossed-with-a-house-sparrow looking birds. They’re related to puffins and weigh in at 5 to 6 ounces, so you can fit a lot of them inside 500 pounds of dead seal. Once stuffed the seal-ducken is left to ferment under a rock for around three months.

Welcome to Interesting If True, the podcast that makes you think... things like "wow, I wish an actual 10-year-old had been running the country for the last four years..."

I'm your host this week, Aaron, and with me are… sound effects. The other hosts all send their best wishes… and past selves… to you this week. While I’m happy to say that everyone is feeling much better than they were for our last archive show we’re not entirely back up to full production-speed just yet.

I’m sure we’ll be back with new and amazing weirdness next week, but until then, let’s roll that beautiful, remastered (shameless, I know), archive audio. Jenn, take it away:

International Diplomacy and Goodwill: the little girl edition

* http://www.samanthasmith.info/

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samantha_Smith

* https://www.avclub.com/in-1982-a-10-year-old-american-wrote-to-the-head-of-th-1830869949

I’m dipping my toes back into tales from history this week. Not a ‘weird history’ one, sad to say, but one that I’ve always liked and not everyone may be familiar with. Today I’m going to be discussing the story of Samantha Smith, often referred to as ‘America’s Youngest Ambassador’. I picked this story to share today because international tensions are again on the rise, with diplomacy) at least on the American end, is currently at a depressingly loooow point. This is a reminder that small things and normal people can sometimes make great things happen. (Unless Trump is re-elected and then we’re all doomed.)

The setting of the story is the tense later-Cold War days of the early 80s. Samantha herself was born June 29th, 1972, in Maine, and was a general contemporary of Steve. Being a school child during this time of heightened nuclear war fears, obviously, she was curious about why there were talks of war and made-for-TV movies about society’s annihilation (seriously, Amazon Prime carries ‘Testament’ and I’m really glad I didn’t see that as a kid). From her own words:

"Actually, the whole thing started when I asked my mother if there was going to be a war. There was always something on television about missiles and nuclear bombs. Once I watched a science show on public television and the scientists said that a nuclear war would wreck the Earth and destroy the atmosphere. Nobody would win a nuclear war. I remembered that I woke up one morning and wondered if this was going to be the last day of the Earth.

I asked my mother who would start a war and why. She showed me a news magazine with a story about America and Russia, one that had a picture of the new Russian leader, Yuri Andropov, on the cover. We read it together. It seemed that the people in both Russia and America were worried that the other country would start a nuclear war. It all seemed so dumb to me. I had learned about the awful things that had happened during World War II, so I thought that nobody would ever want to have another war. I told Mom that she should write to Mr. Andropov to find out who was causing all the trouble. She said, "Why don't you write to him?" So I did."

And yes she did. In 1982 at the age of 10 she wrote a letter to the newly elected, heavily titled General Secretary of the Central Communist Party of the Soviet Union, Yuri Andropov. Now, Samantha was nothing if not precocious. She had previously written a letter to Queen Elizabeth at the age of 5 to tell her how much she admired her (and probably to get tips on how to become a future world leader, as the kid had moxy), so her next focus turned, of course, to the Iron Curtain.

The refreshingly direct letter:

Dear Mr. Andropov,

My name is Samantha Smith. I am ten years old. Congratulations on your new job. I have been worrying about Russia and the United States getting into a nuclear war. Are you going to vote to have a war or not?

Welcome to Interesting If True, the podcast that harnesses the power of the atom to blast the sweet sound of our sultry voices into your ear-holes!

I'm your host this week, Aaron, and with me is Shea:

I'm Shea, and this week I learned that crabs and lobsters are the same thing, one is just folded hamburger style while the other is folded hot dog style.

Solving Problems & Adding Value

This week’s story is a bit of an odd duck.

First I have to introduce an entire world of nonsense. Namely that 5G wireless signals can infect you with Covid-19. Yes, those words in that order.

Because solving a problem is adding value—even if the problem is made up and the solutions don’t matter.

People who don’t understand how radio waves work have been flipping out about all the G’s since telecoms started using that branding. Indeed 5G conspiracies abound because the internet has given the stupid a voice and the credulous something to do in lockdown.

Of course there are plenty of 3, 4, and 5G conspiracies that don’t involve impossibly stupid… also normal impossible… contagion-generation radio waves. But where’s the fun in that?

How stupid is thinking 5G can give you Covid? Real stupid. Like, overlapping with Flat Earthers and Anti-vaxxers stupid. More on that infectious venn diagram later. And in case you’re tempted to remind me that ignorance is curable and these people aren’t “stupid” or “dangerously gullable” for holding outlandishly impossible beliefes, I’ll preimptively remind you that this isn’t Be Reasonable.

So to break this conspiracy theory down we’re going to have to establish two branches. One where the radio waves 5G gives off spontaneously-generate the Sars-Cov-2 virus in your body a la a Star Trek replicator (but also not at all like that), and another where Covid-19 is a hoax and those feeling its effects are actually succumbing to radiation poisoning from 5G towers and base stations capable of broadcasting it.

Either way, it’s about population control man… like… because of Monsanto—who also figures into this conspiracy theory… somehow. You can Google that one on your own. Spoiler alert: it’s because Qanon is all conspiracy theories.

The latter is what we’ll focus on because… radiation doesn’t spontaneously create complex viral diseases… because that’s real dumb. Proponents of this also think all the other G’s give you cancer or the gay, even LTE will cause chronic health problems. So turn that off too and enjoy your new Apple iBrick I guess.

Or as Keri Hilson (is this a famous person? Who knows, I’m not clicking on them) tweets:

Still not convinced, well here’s Tiffani Cyr with a for real truth bomb:

Sadly, if you want citations for those claims your gonna have to go fuck yourself.

Where did this theory come from and is it true? Well I’m not doing that search but

NBC2 News did, so here’s that:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kT7DNPN_34

Well said Amanda Skrzypchak, well said.

Of course, just because radio waves can’t poof virus’ into you, doesn’t mean that the government can’t use radio waves to poof virus’ into you. As English twitter account owner Jewel will explain. Because we’re an audio medium I’ll just put up screen captures of two design elements that are from Covid-Devil...

Welcome to Interesting If True, the podcast that can feed a family a family of four for the low price of only 19 cents.

I'm your host this week, Shea, and with me is… Aaron!

I'm Aaron, and this week I learned that while decaf coffee, zero calorie soda, and lite beer are popular, no one wants a flat beer…

Depressed depression

https://soyummy.com/great-depression-food/

In October 1929, the U.S. stock market crashed and launched the country into the worst economic downturn in its history as of yet... For an entire decade, spending and investment was at an all-time low, which meant unemployment was high and the majority of American families were surviving on next to nothing. It was during this period in time that bare-bones recipes were created. We probably wouldn’t eat most of them today — however, it was these meals that kept America going.

These aren’t the most appetizing of meals, but even so, many of them have been handed down through generations and are still made by those who know of the hardships their parents and grandparents faced throughout the ’30s. The American diet was affected by economic changes. Apart from trying to be more frugal with their spending, the refrigerator was becoming more popular in American homes, impacting the food they consumed.

Across the country, people were looking for ways to cut corners and save money. How would that affect their diet? Several rather revolting creations came into the forefront when the Bureau of Home Economics encouraged substituting. They suggested bland food as a motivation for people to find work so they could afford spices. Leftovers became typical meals thanks to the refrigerator, so citizens learned to cook things that lasted like casseroles. Americans at the time didn’t have a concept of hunger. It wasn’t until the Great Depression that America became nationally conscious of the issue. Soon the attitudes and behaviors of people began to change.

Now tuck your napkin into your collar, because it’s time to dive into the strangest meals to come out of the Depression era.

Our first recipe of the day comes from an unlikely source. You would think the food at the White House would be better than the rest of the country, you’d be quite mistaken. Eleanor Roosevelt, the First Lady at the time, is well known for her work in feminism as well as her support of the movement surrounding home economics. She wasn’t all words and no action either. She served the same bland food in the White House that the rest of America was eating.

In fact, FDR’s White House gained a reputation among world leaders for serving food that was, by their standards, absolutely horrible. This is because Eleanor Roosevelt took it upon herself to simplify the fare served to the First Family and dignitaries. This was more about image than about cutting domestic costs: Americans wouldn’t want to hear about the elaborate meals served in the White House when they themselves were struggling to find enough to eat every day. Eleanor’s most famous recipe was prune pudding, the cheap ingredient was quickly bought up by the common people and whipped into this presidential “delight.” Prunes were easy to store, widely available, and much less expensive than other fruits, while providing needed nutrients to the Depression-era diet: the fruit is packed with fiber and supplies almost one-third of your daily needs for Vitamin K.

The recipe, as follows, Let prunes stand in water. Boil them. Chop them. Put them back in water and let them simmer. Add sugar and cinnamon and a cornstarch slurry for thickening purposes. Allow to cool fully. Serve in small containers.

According to an adventurous eater who tried the recipe, what they created was jam… it was just a normal prune jam and it took weeks for them t...

Welcome to Interesting If True, the show that’s finally angered someone with the power to strike us down…

I’m your host… ish, this week Aaron and with me is the turkey I’m prepping for Thanksgiving. The rest of the hosts are all off in the world in varying degrees of unwell. And yes, there’s some ‘rona, but also some not ‘rona. So if you’re thankful for the laughs this show provides stop by facebook.com/interestiniftrue and wish Jenn, Jim, or Shea well, I’m sure they’d appreciate it. Jokes and plees for sympathy likes aside, being sick sucks but as far as we know everyone is doing well and will be back to regale you with strange and silly stories shortly.

And with that, let’s go to the archive, Jenn;

You can never be too rich or too thin, right?

So, since many of us who briefly cared no longer do, let’s talk about diets and how silly and useless they are. Also some crazy and potentially dangerous a few in years past were.

Weird diets are by no means ONLY a thing of the past of course. I’m not talking about the vegan lifestyle, gluten-free (whether needed or not) or the no processed/no sugar thing. Just a few current ones by people we’ve heard of: There’s the Master Cleanse (which is a diet consisting entirely of tea, lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper) used by Beyonce, Demi Moore and singer Ashanti (to name a few). Trump-buddy and Mr. Super Bowl Tom Brady created his own diet the TB12 (1 guess what the TB stands for) that peddles baseless and weird claims such as “the “right foods” are “alkalizing” and “anti-inflammatory.” Alkaline foods lower his pH level, he writes, which can help with a range of ailments, from boosting low energy to preventing bone fractures.” Which is...not true. (It’s not technically an unhealthy diet, he’s just making up shit about what it does.)

Finally, the really adorable and charming actor from Parks & Rec who was swallowed whole somewhere in another Galaxy by this new White Man() conservative evangelical, Chris Pratt touts the benefits of the Daniel Fast, a biblical based ‘wellness based’ program. To keep it simple, it’s a 21 day restrictive fast and 40 days overall, was developed by mega-church pastor Rick Warren, and involves lots and lots of prayer.

Ok, so now that we’ve discussed that weird diets are obviously a thing of the present, let’s discuss some of those of the past that crank up the weirdness to 11 and a half:

In the 1920’s cigarette brand Lucky Strikes created one of the most famous early advertising taglines: “Reach for a Lucky instead of a sweet.”

“Light a Lucky Strike when you are tempted to eat between meals. They satisfy the craving for sweets and rich pastries. That’s why thousands now reducing (dieting) smoke them constantly.” – Lucky Strike ad, 1928

And don’t think this was only focused on the ladies and a slim figure only. Nope, it also promised to keep men strong, fit and athletic!

Please note health promise at the bottom the advert

So moving forward just slightly in time but probably not really in healthiness, let’s discuss the diet craze of the 40’s-early 70s: SPEED! And boy was it prevalent.

If the name Susanna McBee doesn’t ring a bell, she was an undercover journalist who helped bring to public attention to just how many mama’s had little helpers. She published a piece in 1969 that detailed exactly how easy it was to keep an amphetamine addiction going strong. From Smithsonian Magazine online: “Susanna McBee walked into the office of a doctor she’d never met before, submitted to a three-minute physical, and walked out with hundreds of colorful amphetamine pills. Then she went to another—and another—and another. At every doctor’s office, she was prescribed diet pills containing the potent stimulant, sometimes handed to her by doctors before she’d even spoken a wo...

https://streamyard.com/nydfqfkpr5

Welcome to Interesting If True, the podcast that fights for truth, justice, and the Ame… nope… umm… Empathy, let’s just say empathy.

I'm your host this week, Aaron, and helping vanquish the forces of evil this week is, Shea!

I'm Shea, and this week I learned that an avocado is a vegan kinder egg.

You know Plastic Man was an egg for a while but what hatched out of him was… not as good as a Kinder Surprise.

Speaking of super heroes…

While DC struggles to make an alien god, or a violently narcissistic, billionaire relatable Marvel has been crushing the pop culture scene for more than a decade. And sure, in comics for going on a hundred years. So it’s no wonder that people have become fixated on the idea of becoming a superhero.

Sadly, with the tragic exception of a few kids trying to fly each year, almost no one has the balls… or ovaries… to suit up and take back the night.

I say “almost” because today we’re talking about Real Life Super Heroes. And for those of you who read the show notes, that phrase is capitalized because it’s a proper noun. As in, Real Life Superheroes is an organization, or a league if you will, of heroes fighting for what’s right… or, you know, justice.

Unfortunately, people don’t have super powers… but thanks to comics and movies like Kick-Ass, even the depowered, non-billionaire, crowd is feeling like they can get in on the action. Seriously, a large percentage of the heroes we’re about to talk about cite the story of an awkward kid dressing up in a green unitard and getting his ass beat so badly his super-origin is hospital bills and nerve damage as the inspiration for their own origin stories. Personally, I might have chosen the path that doesn’t include your mentor’s mentor getting tied to a chair and set on fire while his daughter and your uncomfortably young love interest watches—but you do you I guess.

After all, what successful superhero doesn’t have a closet full of what’s left of their friends and family?

I suppose, as with most comics, we should start at the beginning. The Silver Age if you will… because Captain Ozone widely considered to be the first real life super hero but also his costume is mostly silver… I’m clever.

Captain Ozone first burst onto the scene in 1989, interestingly, a year and a half before that Captain Planet swindler stole his gig. Captain Ozone doesn’t have any superpowers to speak of but like Booster Gold, or more accurately, John Conner, Ozone has come back from the future, 2039 to be precise, to warn us that we’re literally murdering the planet and should stop doing that lest we find ourselves in the dystopian hellscape he grew up in.

His notable accomplishments include more than a decade of teaching American and Candian children about environmentalism, how kids can make their own PSAs about the environment, many of which have run on cable TV in both countries, he established Eco Art Day, November 24th, and organized the 2010 Green Power Rally. So that’s all good stuff.

Captain Ozone’s mission was to come back and stop oil barons from destroying the future. Armed only with his trusty Toilerang, his car-top mounted, silver, time traveling crapper, he takes on the DC elite in the fight for a greener future!

According to rlsh (real life super hero) fandom wiki no one ever unmasked Captain Ozone and while he hasn’t been seen in years I like to think he’s still out there even now, protecting us from Exxon and such.

Captain Ozone makes a good introduction because he’s, by all accounts, a cool guy, the first hero, and an example of the kinds of heroes who would follow him.

Our heroes today fall roughly into four categories.

Welcome to Interesting If True, the podcast that is better than yours.

I'm your host this week, Shea, and with me this week, as always, the ever amicable Aaron

I'm Aaron, and this week I learned that I’m a king in my own mind… and that might just be enough…

The Orange Oligarchs Ostracism

We have been living in an Orwellian horror but it seems there is a light at the end of the tunnel, though who really knows. This past year has revealed that real-life rulers were sometimes more akin to villains in storybooks: orange oligarchs, crazed witches, sleazy morons, and murderous families. Whether these rulers were born that way or the job drove them to do dastardly deeds, a number of monarchs throughout history exhibited signs that something wasn't quite right. For some, it was just a strange quirk here or there. For others, a debilitating problem that left them unfit to rule their own lands.

No one can deny that, despite the perks, being a ruler is complicated. Access to massive riches can corrupt you. You must make decisions that determine the well-being of entire populations. All the while, there are people out there who probably want nothing more than to see you dead. This could lead anyone to develop warped priorities. SO today I will learn you about some of the strangest rulers and royals throughout history, what made them that way, and how it might have affected the country they ruled.

* https://www.britannica.com/biography/Elagabalus

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elagabalus

Elagabalus, who took the throne in 218 AD, was a lesser-known Roman Emperor whose behavior rivals that of the most vicious, cruel, and self-indulgent rulers of all time. A devotee of the Syrian god he was named for, Elagabalus brought the deity's cult to Rome and tried to make it the main religion of the empire. He wasn't above physical aggression, either; Emperor Elagabalus stories have him harming unsuspecting guests while they dined and even depict him as making human sacrifices. But he got the most attention for his private life. Elagabalus had multiple wives as well as a husband, and some reports suggest he was transsexual and enjoyed dressing up in traditional female garb.

If that wasn't intriguing enough, consider this: Elagabalus was only 14 when he became emperor, but the good times didn't last. At the age of 18, the young emperor was slain by his own soldiers.

Elagabalus has a laundry list of weird behavior such as;

* He chained naked women to chariots, like horses, and whipped them as they pulled him around.

* He released poisonous snakes into the audience of the gladiator games and watched as crowds panicked and died from poisonous bites.

* He tied dinner guests to a water wheel to watch them slowly drown.

* He tossed gold and silver from the balcony of a tower and reveled in commoners fighting and dying over the money.

* He let loose lions and leopards during a feast.(This was his idea of a prank because all the animals were rendered harmless but this was unknown to the guests)

* He filled positions in the government based on the sizes of the men's penises.

* When his chief adviser warned him that he should live a moderate life to prevent revolt over the effects of his taxation, he stabbed the adviser to death.

My favorite contribution of his maybe the whoopie cushion, not officially attributed to him. He loved pranks so instead of seating his guests on cushions, according to Historia Augusta, "some of his humbler friends he would seat on air-pillows instead of on cushions and let out the air while they were dining."