This week we find out whether Tessa knows our social media handles. We have a new research assistant with us in the garage, welcome Liana! We relive our Anne Rice (Ms. Rice, if you're nasty) vampire romance teen fantasies on this episode. We discuss the possible alternate castings (Rutger Hauer as Lestat?). We discover that Melissa Etheridge is like Candyman. We make Dave Navarro abortion jokes and hope we don't get sued by Carmen Electra. We discuss the "pommes frites incident", Claudia gets turnt, Claudia is an anchor baby, the largest merkin, Denis d'oeuvres, Tessa doing her best Antonio Banderas impression, and taunting immortality. All this and more!