Intimate Interactions

Today, Robin Beach from sexwithrobin.com talks metamours. She’s a sex educator, radio host, former stripper, former dominatrix, and current mom. How do you relate to the partners of your partners? Is it like sibling rivalry? What does it mean if love is unlimited but time isn’t?

As I do more research on psychedelic substances and wait for the winter to end to progress off my SSRIs before I experiment further with them, I thought it would be fun to interview people on their experiences of psychedelics. Alex Owens is back today to share some stories of their experiences of psychedelia.

Again, neither of us are experts or doctors. This is not medical advice. Please do your own research. My nonchalant opinions of serotonin syndrome and my risk to it should not be your default position. Serotonin syndrome can be life threatening in the worst cases. There can be drug interactions between SSRIs and psilocybin. I encourage you to ask your doctor and/or reach out to responsible psychedelic use organizations online.

Also, for expectation setting, the ego death experience on mushrooms Alex discusses involved a tab of acid as well.

Here’s a link to Mind Foundation: https://mind-foundation.org/psychedelic-antidepressant-interactions/

Here’s a link to Alex Owens’ VIP OnlyFans https://onlyfans.com/heyalexowensvip/media

As a twice diagnosed ADHD person, I adopt the social model of disability where rather than see a person as disabled for having a different human experience, I view the centering of certain types of people in society and the construction of society around that supposedly ideal person to be the thing that is disabling. ADHD can cause horrific executive dysfunction and can absolutely be a detriment, especially when you consider Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, a deeply upsetting experience similar to social anxiety. This is to say nothing of the actual social stigma. So there’s the social piece: there’s social stigma around having ADHD. According to WebMD, children with ADHD receive about 20,000 additional negative messages about themselves, something sure to impact self esteem. It’s no surprise then that embarrassment and rejection sensitive dysphoria happen.

Today we’ll be talking with someone who does not have ADHD as I figured it would be a better introduction on the topic than two people with ADHD though that episode is surely coming. Thanks for seeing me and being with me along for my journey of self discovery here on Intimate Interactions.

When you’re not talking about sex, how do you negotiate consent? Why is talking about how we make agreements a useful thing to do? Former director of the Consent Academy in Seattle and current marriage and family counsellor Sar Surmick joins us today to chat about this and more. If consent is important to you, let’s talk about it. If it isn’t important to you, it might be worth reflecting on why. Do you feel like you’ve mastered consent for your purposes? You totally might have the skills you need to get by or even thrive. I would encourage you to ask what a deeper understanding might gift you or your relationships. Content warning for brief mention of the damage nonconsent can do.

Alex Owens and I talk about psychedelics this episode.

Content warning: neither of us are experts. This is not medical advice. Please do your own research.

Alex shares a story of ego death while on mushrooms and acid. We talk about why Alex started into psychedelics and why Alex stopped. I discuss my experiences with mushrooms while on escitalopram, an SSRI. Please note some of the risks we’ve taken like mixing psychedelics with possible bipolar disorder or mixing psychedelics with antidepressants may be relatively high risk behaviours. We don’t advise you doing as we’ve done. We’re just here to talk about our experiences.

Here’s a love letter about taking care of yourself because you’re special. Yes, you. Let’s talk about risk profiles. We all want to get our needs met. Maybe that’s falling in love or fucking or holding someone’s hand and sharing a shy, flirty glance. Often getting our needs met comes with some amount of risk. Take falling in love with someone. There’s big risk. Rejection or maybe acceptance first followed by rejection.

A great poet once described this experience as a “sick obsession” where she got “strung out.” What seems like a very high cost for a fleeting high may be outside of your risk profile. But biomedical ethics tells us we can’t make decisions for other people or presume to understand their human experience. So when this poet says “the rush is worth the price I pay,” we have to believe her. For those of you who got the trolly, dated reference, I’m truly sorry.

So only you can decide what your profile is of risks you’re willing to take for the experiences you crave.

And remember that there are often lots of things you can do to get the same high at a much lower risk price, so no need to be reckless. There are safer behaviours. Be with people who help you feel safe. Be in an environment that is safe. Google and research. Find community. Remember there’s almost always another chance to get higher later where you can up your dose. No need to worry it’s not working after fifty minutes and take more. Give it hours. Also please note that the ego death experience Alex talks about on mushrooms actually involved a tab of acid alongside the mushrooms. Worst case, you don’t feel anything and try again after. Chances are you will feel something.

You are precious. Be well, friends. Now let’s listen to the session with Alex Owens here on Intimate Interactions.

Reinventing oneself is no simple process. Ragehell has done it a few times. Today we chat about self deprecation and self sabotage but also self reassurance, cuddling, group massage, and the supports that often help with reinvention. Ragehell also was highly motivated to reinvent herself each time, and finding a deep sense of why you’re doing it can help a lot.

While there are episodes coming up about psychedelics and the use of them to encourage reinvention, I wanted to record some drug free episodes to talk about doing it manually, a very possible and in my experience very rewarding way to go about it.

Let’s let Ragehell tell us herself here on Intimate Interactions.

Have you ever wanted to build an online brand or been curious how successful people do it? Well, Alex Owens is here to talk to us about how they started their OnlyFans and how they built their brand, following, and offerings.

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Rage Hell is here to talk to us about facing fears, living your life, practicing comfort with discomfort, embracing awkwardness, supporting each other, and playing roller derby. Lots about roller derby. I’ve been peripherally familiar with roller derby as I have a friend on a national team, but do my best to let Ragehell tell the story here on Intimate Interactions.

Disciplining a Catholic girl for having erotic thoughts or writing an erotica might be about as cliché as you can get but it’s because it really happens. So what does it look like to try to repair not having your boundaries or sexuality respected? Soul-searching feels fitting to me but I’m not sure it’s the term Alex would use. Still, let’s hear from them what it was like to quit a super challenging dance school and start life anew discovering who you are again.

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Emotional labour and blindness are two important topics when discussing how men find themselves after lifetimes of being subjected to toxic masculinity. Whether we owe our fathers, mothers, or societies isn’t really the point. Given how high suicide rates are among men, the need for more of a nurturance culture for men and breaking the silence around mental illness is great. Today I chat with my cishet friend William who discusses emotional labour and how it is gendered in heterosexual relationships. We talk about shame, defensiveness, and cultivating a language of emotions. We talk about gratitude and the debt we owe to women who have done emotional labour for us in our lives.