David's on the road taking the pulse of America, so we're raiding the vault. This week's best-of serves up the WNBA's bright green dildo epidemic, an 80-something German named Helmet Hammerhand crushing 293 walnuts in 60 seconds with a raw egg in his fist, the half-billion-dollar Trump judgment that an appellate court quietly reduced to zero, Letitia James and Adam Schiff's shared talent for mortgage fraud, and a NASA asteroid alert designed to alarm you and reassure you in the same breath.

A man in a wig shoots up his kid's hockey game, and the one thing you cannot say is the most obvious thing in the room. David and Brad trace the through-line from the Rhode Island rink to Canadian schools to the Trump shooting and ask: if this were the Gambino family, would we notice a pattern? Spoiler: yes. Also: the Savannah Guthrie disappearance, homeless New Yorkers dying on Mamdani's watch, and why what’s coming down the pike might also be coming down the pipe.

New York's communist mayor can't plow streets or pick up trash, giving New Yorkers a genuine taste of a political philosophy that has literally never worked. Meanwhile, 3 million pages of Epstein documents somehow only put one person behind bars. Plus: a perplexing kidnapping, one man’s catastrophic luck at presidential events, and the latest odds on the Second Coming. Your weekly reminder that the justice system works great…just not for you.

The Hall of Fame gatekeepers have spoken, and Bill Belichick isn't getting in. David and Brad dissect the petty jealousies and false moral superiority that kept the greatest coach in NFL history out of Canton. Then it's off to Minneapolis, where federal agents trying to enforce laws are being harassed by whistle-blowing martyrs with loaded guns (what could go wrong?). The guys tackle the impossible task of finding honest reporting on the ICE operations, debate the wisdom of pulling all federal support from cities that won't cooperate, and explain why showing up to confront armed officers with an air horn is a terrible life choice. Finally, the CDC reveals that between 2018 and 2023, Americans were far more likely to be killed by wasps and bees than by marine animals.

An “influencer” with 12 million followers is warning people that on August 12th, 2026, gravity will pause for 7.3 seconds. NASA's been hiding it. You, your cat, and your car will hover in the air before slamming back to earth in a symphony of shattered spines and dead pets. Forty million casualties, minimum. David and Brad take this opportunity to perform an autopsy on American intelligence, explaining why a third-grade understanding of physics should've prevented this panic, why social media has turned millions of brains into cottage cheese, and why anyone who believes this deserves to float away permanently. Also: Minneapolis protesters storm a church service, Virginia's new governor speed-runs the state's collapse with a legislative blitz, and South Carolina's Milkman continues his reign of dairy-based terror. If you still think you may need to bolt your couch to the floor, please seek help immediately.

Welcome to a crash course in Gen Z linguistics, from "aura points" to "skibbidi”, before diving into the chaos unfolding across the globe. David and Brad dissect Iran's brutal crackdown on protesters while the Shah's heir lounges in Paris, debate whether Trump should just annex Greenland already, and unpack the dumpster fire that is Minnesota. Between Somali fraud rings, protesters blocking ICE with air horns, and a shooting that somehow can't be reported honestly by anyone, Brad proposes a simple solution: pull all federal funding and law enforcement from Minneapolis and let Governor Walz run his utopia experiment. The guys wrap up with a reminder that pushing heavily armed federal agents is about as smart as it sounds, and that sometimes the best response to a tantrum is to let people find out what they're actually asking for.

David and Brad survey the wreckage of New York City under Mayor Mamdani. His housing czar wants to dismantle white supremacy by seizing private property (conveniently excluding her mother's $1.4 million Nashville home.) The hosts dissect the performative self-loathing of white progressives who rail against everything they are while somehow exempting themselves from their own indictments.

Meanwhile, we all witnessed a masterclass in American power, plucking Maduro from his Russian-defended Venezuelan fortress without losing a single man.

Plus: Tim Walz slinks away from Minnesota amid daycare fraud scandals, USA Today manufactures hypothetical racism for clicks, and the disturbing rise of pet cloning. Because nothing says emotional health like dropping fifty grand to resurrect Fluffy.

David and Brad kick off 2026 by examining America's fraud epidemic—from Minneapolis' multi-billion dollar Somali daycare scheme to a Florida congresswoman's $300,000 FEMA-funded diamond ring she tried to airbrush out of her Christmas card. Meanwhile, Trump immortalizes Biden's legacy with an auto-pen portrait and the most savage presidential plaque in White House history. Plus: Can Navy SEAL training from the movie "Frogman" explain OJ's bloodless crime scene? And why does Instacart defeat the entire purpose of grocery delivery? The guys wrap up 2025's greatest hits and make predictions for the year ahead—spoiler alert: more jackassery incoming.

David and Brad unwrap some recent spectacular failures in this murder-y Christmas episode. First up, Providence's finest fumbled a campus shooting so badly that a homeless man living in the crime scene building had to solve it himself…all while police ignored him and politicians held press conferences featuring sign language interpreters more dramatic than the investigation.

Multiple murders, one escaped killer, and zero accountability later, the duo asks the real questions: How does OJ stay blood-free after a double homicide when other people are spattered with it? And why is Trump renaming the Kennedy Center?

From Brown University's Antifa-appeasing camera policies to the detective work of vagrants, this episode proves that this year’s greatest mystery isn't UFOs—it's how these people keep their jobs.

David and Brad dissect the spectacular implosion of Michigan's head football coach, who traded a $6 million dream job and family for ten minutes of pleasure (and that’s being generous). Gene Simmons drops wisdom at the Kennedy Center about staying in your lane, and the guys explain why if you go to Thailand, you’re probably gonna get kidnapped.