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An “influencer” with 12 million followers is warning people that on August 12th, 2026, gravity will pause for 7.3 seconds. NASA's been hiding it. You, your cat, and your car will hover in the air before slamming back to earth in a symphony of shattered spines and dead pets. Forty million casualties, minimum. David and Brad take this opportunity to perform an autopsy on American intelligence, explaining why a third-grade understanding of physics should've prevented this panic, why social media has turned millions of brains into cottage cheese, and why anyone who believes this deserves to float away permanently. Also: Minneapolis protesters storm a church service, Virginia's new governor speed-runs the state's collapse with a legislative blitz, and South Carolina's Milkman continues his reign of dairy-based terror. If you still think you may need to bolt your couch to the floor, please seek help immediately.
Welcome to a crash course in Gen Z linguistics, from "aura points" to "skibbidi”, before diving into the chaos unfolding across the globe. David and Brad dissect Iran's brutal crackdown on protesters while the Shah's heir lounges in Paris, debate whether Trump should just annex Greenland already, and unpack the dumpster fire that is Minnesota. Between Somali fraud rings, protesters blocking ICE with air horns, and a shooting that somehow can't be reported honestly by anyone, Brad proposes a simple solution: pull all federal funding and law enforcement from Minneapolis and let Governor Walz run his utopia experiment. The guys wrap up with a reminder that pushing heavily armed federal agents is about as smart as it sounds, and that sometimes the best response to a tantrum is to let people find out what they're actually asking for.
David and Brad survey the wreckage of New York City under Mayor Mamdani. His housing czar wants to dismantle white supremacy by seizing private property (conveniently excluding her mother's $1.4 million Nashville home.) The hosts dissect the performative self-loathing of white progressives who rail against everything they are while somehow exempting themselves from their own indictments.
Meanwhile, we all witnessed a masterclass in American power, plucking Maduro from his Russian-defended Venezuelan fortress without losing a single man.
Plus: Tim Walz slinks away from Minnesota amid daycare fraud scandals, USA Today manufactures hypothetical racism for clicks, and the disturbing rise of pet cloning. Because nothing says emotional health like dropping fifty grand to resurrect Fluffy.
David and Brad kick off 2026 by examining America's fraud epidemic—from Minneapolis' multi-billion dollar Somali daycare scheme to a Florida congresswoman's $300,000 FEMA-funded diamond ring she tried to airbrush out of her Christmas card. Meanwhile, Trump immortalizes Biden's legacy with an auto-pen portrait and the most savage presidential plaque in White House history. Plus: Can Navy SEAL training from the movie "Frogman" explain OJ's bloodless crime scene? And why does Instacart defeat the entire purpose of grocery delivery? The guys wrap up 2025's greatest hits and make predictions for the year ahead—spoiler alert: more jackassery incoming.
David and Brad unwrap some recent spectacular failures in this murder-y Christmas episode. First up, Providence's finest fumbled a campus shooting so badly that a homeless man living in the crime scene building had to solve it himself…all while police ignored him and politicians held press conferences featuring sign language interpreters more dramatic than the investigation.
Multiple murders, one escaped killer, and zero accountability later, the duo asks the real questions: How does OJ stay blood-free after a double homicide when other people are spattered with it? And why is Trump renaming the Kennedy Center?
From Brown University's Antifa-appeasing camera policies to the detective work of vagrants, this episode proves that this year’s greatest mystery isn't UFOs—it's how these people keep their jobs.
David and Brad dissect the spectacular implosion of Michigan's head football coach, who traded a $6 million dream job and family for ten minutes of pleasure (and that’s being generous). Gene Simmons drops wisdom at the Kennedy Center about staying in your lane, and the guys explain why if you go to Thailand, you’re probably gonna get kidnapped.
Too stuffed with turkey to record a full episode, David and Brad serve up podcast moments from 2025 on a silver platter: climate hysteria by the millisecond, CEOs busted by kiss cams, Harvard's alien doomsday prophet, gender conspiracy lawsuits, and TikTok's home invasion trend. It's the past few month’s best rants, all the tryptophan, none of the work.
It's the annual Turkey Gobbler episode, and this Thanksgiving, David and Brad are serving up a disturbing historical pattern that explains more than you wanted to know. From the Golden State Killer's dime-sized evidence to Hitler's motivations for world domination, the hosts carve into history's most compensatory crimes with forensic precision. Turns out some men are just coming up short in the nature department—and the rest of us pay the price. Also on the holiday menu: creepy AI apps where your dead relatives judge your life choices, Dick Cheney's funeral turned into a petty political pageant, and NFL coaches who really should stick to handling their own balls. The official Turkey of the Year award goes to everyone in government—a truly impressive collection of inadequacies. Gobble gobble.
Congress shuts down for 49 days, changes absolutely nothing, then votes to reopen like it was all a big joke. Meanwhile, a McDonald's Quarter Pounder purchased in the 90’s celebrates its 30th birthday looking better than most senators. David and Brad connect the dots between government dysfunction and food that refuses to die, propose a jury-duty system for Congress, and are confused as to why social media influencers keep trying to kill themselves for likes. In other news, Dick Cheney's gone, but his Halliburton contracts are forever—much like that burger.
David and Brad dissect New York City's newly elected Marxist mayor and his fever-dream platform of free groceries, $30/hr minimum wages, and replacing cops with social workers armed with hugs. They explore the inevitable exodus of the 1%, calculate the hilarious math on 55% tax rates, and propose walling off Manhattan to trap voters with the consequences of their choices. Plus: the alarming rise of Americans dating AI chatbots, complete with digital jealousy and uncomfortable sushi dates. Spoiler alert—neither socialism nor robot girlfriends lead to increased birth rates, which might solve both problems eventually.
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