Oh fuck!! I just spilled genderfluid all over the IKEA loveseat! Sure would be a shame if someone were to... soak it up... with THEIR big ass...

We took a little break, but now it's back to us. The docket is long. The docket is thick. The docket will not be important in three days. GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT. After a riveting discussion of our teenage employment histories, we launch into the nitty-gritty: first, the IKEA pride couches. Which one would be the most comfortable for a nap? Which niche gender has the best style? What would the gay guy couch REALLY look like?

Then, we take a firm stance on the Delta Variant (known to the medical community as the Derrick Barryant), Freeing Britney, and Lil Nas X's Egyptacular gay performance. 

OUR SUMMER MERCH LINE IS OUT!! Cop you a piece right now at thottopics.bigcartel.com. Use promo code BIGKAHUNA for a free I ❤️ Bussy wristband with the order of any T-shirt. 

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Help us buy a sound effects machine on Patreon.