It Aint for Sissies

LET THEM… AND LET ME TRY NOT LOSE MY SHIT?

This week, we deep dive into Mel Robbins’ Let Them Theory — the revolutionary concept of simply letting other people do whatever the hell they’re going to do… and then figuring out what we are going to do about it.

Sounds simple, right?

Except we’re women, and apparently we’ve made it our life’s work to analyse why someone didn’t reply to a WhatsApp, why our husbands don't ask if we need anything from the shops, why our friends aren't inviting us and what the passive-aggressive Instagram story actually meant.

We unpack the difference between “Let Them” and “Let Me”, and whether relinquishing control is actually liberating… or just another way of saying, “Fine. Do whatever you want. See if I care.”

From friendships and family drama to parenting, relationships, boundaries and the exhausting business of worrying about what everyone else thinks, we ask the very important question:

Can we actually let them… or are we going to need to discuss it for another 45 minutes first?

Spoiler: probably the latter.

Teenagers. Retail shopping. Two things that should come with warning labels.

In this week’s mini rant, we unpack the baffling vapidness of teenagers — where conversations are apparently optional, eye contact is offensive, and asking a simple question can result in the emotional equivalent of a hostage negotiation.

Then we turn our attention to the modern-day nightmare that is shopping in an actual shop. Because apparently we’ve reached the point where finding someone to help you, and paying for something without having a minor psychological breakdown is too much to ask.

From teenage indifference to retail staff who seem personally offended by your existence, this is essentially two women asking: When did everything become so unnecessarily difficult?

Come for the rant. Stay because you’ve probably experienced both and need to know you’re not alone.

Ever wondered why your friend can disappear for six months and come back with “OMG, I’ve missed you!”… while you’re sitting there thinking, “Bitch, I thought we were dead to each other”?

Turns out, you might not have a friendship problem. You might just have a different friendship style.

This week on It Ain’t For Sissies, we dive into social scientist Kasley Killam’s four friendship styles — the Butterfly, Wallflower, Firefly and Evergreen — and, naturally, use them as an opportunity to psychoanalyse ourselves, our friends and probably a few people who should never have been given our phone numbers.

Are you the friend who needs constant contact? The one who can go months without speaking but still considers someone a bestie? The social butterfly who knows everyone? Or the person who would genuinely prefer to cancel dinner and stay home in your pyjamas?

We get brutally honest about friendship jealousy, being left out, unanswered WhatsApps, the friend who only calls when she needs something, friends who become more successful than you, outgrowing people, toxic friendships and the awkward business of making friends when you're a grown-ass adult.

Plus, we ask the question nobody wants to answer:

Are your friends actually the problem… or are YOU the problem?

Because apparently friendship has a science.

We just wish there was a science for explaining why you can be furious with someone at 10am and sending them a TikTok by lunchtime.

Listen in. You might finally discover your friendship style — and find out which of your friends needs to hear this episode more than you do.

Sometimes you plan a podcast episode with a proper topic, a structure and the vague illusion that you’re two functioning adults.

And then you press record and realise you’d rather just catch up on everything that’s been happening in your lives.

So, that’s exactly what we do this week.

No big agenda. No carefully researched topic. No pretending to have our shit together. Just two friends chatting about life lately, the things that have been happening, the things we probably shouldn’t admit out loud, and all the random detours that happen when you give two women a microphone and absolutely no supervision.

Basically, it’s a catch-up… but you get to listen in.

Because apparently, after five seasons and countless episodes, we still haven’t learnt how to stay on topic.

*If you or someone you know is struggling with your mental health, feeling overwhelmed, or having thoughts of suicide, please know that help is available. In South Africa, you can contact SADAG’s 24-hour Suicide Crisis Helpline on 0800 567 567, or the Cipla Mental Health Helpline on 0800 456 789. You do not have to face it alone.

This week on It Aint For Sissies, Jo has a rather unfortunate realisation: she’s entered early perimenopause. Because apparently being a woman in her 40s wasn’t already character-building enough.

What follows is a brutally honest conversation about the absolute hormonal shitshow that is perimenopause — and the part nobody seems to talk about enough: what it can do to your mind.

We’re talking anxiety, depression, feeling completely unlike yourself, emotions that seem to have been handed the steering wheel, and the bizarre experience of wondering why you suddenly can’t cope with things you used to handle just fine.

And because apparently there weren't enough emotional plot twists, we also get into Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) — that particularly delightful experience where the slightest hint of criticism, rejection or disapproval can feel like an emotional nuclear bomb. Is it actually rejection? Maybe. Is your brain reacting as though you've just been publicly executed? Absolutely.

We chat about how hormonal fluctuations can make existing emotional and mental health struggles feel turned up to 150%, and why sometimes you can genuinely feel like you've become a completely different version of yourself.

We also have a serious conversation about suicidal thoughts and the frightening reality of how relentless mental anguish can make someone understand why a person might eventually feel like they simply cannot do another day of feeling this way. Not because they necessarily want their life to end, but because they desperately want the pain, hopelessness and feeling of being completely out of sorts to stop.

So yes, there are laughs. There’s sarcasm. There’s oversharing. There’s probably a little hormonal rage thrown in for good measure. But underneath all of it is an important conversation about recognising when something isn't simply “getting older”, “being dramatic” or “losing your shit” — and why women's mental health deserves to be taken seriously.

Perimenopause: come for the hot flushes, stay for the existential crisis, emotional instability and inexplicable desire to cry because someone used the wrong tone.

Because apparently Mother Nature looked at women in their 40s and thought:

"You know what they need? A plot twist."

*If you or someone you know is struggling with your mental health, feeling overwhelmed, or having thoughts of suicide, please know that help is available. In South Africa, you can contact SADAG’s 24-hour Suicide Crisis Helpline on 0800 567 567, or the Cipla Mental Health Helpline on 0800 456 789. You do not have to face it alone.

Marriage: Because Apparently Love Isn’t Enough

What actually makes a marriage happy and healthy? Because if it were just about love, we’d all be nailing this shit by now.

In this episode, we unpack the things that actually keep a marriage together — communication, trust, compromise, intimacy, friendship, knowing when to apologise… and, most importantly, knowing when to keep your mouth firmly shut and when to fake the "oh, that's so interesting".

We chat about the difference between a healthy marriage and one where you’re just two people aggressively co-existing while arguing about whose turn it is to load the dishwasher.

Because marriage isn’t all romance, date nights and gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes. Sometimes it’s parenting together, navigating finances and surviving each other’s irritating habits.

So, what makes a marriage work? Come find out as we share what we think keeps the wheels on — and probably expose a few of our own questionable marital habits along the way.

Love is grand. Marriage is… character building. 😂

Here's our best attempt at a marriage user manual.

Growing Pains… Except We’re the Parents 🥴

They were supposed to stay little forever. Rude.

In this episode, we get into the emotional rollercoaster of watching our little people grow into bigger people — with bigger feelings, bigger opinions, and apparently absolutely no interest in making our lives easier.

We chat about the struggles of parenting children whose emotions are evolving faster than our ability to keep up, the joys (and chaos) of sibling jealousy, and the uncomfortable realisation that jealousy isn’t something we magically outgrow. Because apparently, even as fully functioning adults, we can still look across the fence and think, “We also want that?”

From tiny tantrums to grown-up envy, we unpack why comparison, jealousy and wanting what someone else has are just part of being human — and why parenting sometimes feels like trying to emotionally regulate someone while you're barely regulating yourself.

Because raising little people is hard enough. Raising little people who are becoming actual humans? It Ain’t For Sissies.

Why do so many men seem to have been issued a lifetime ban on emotions?

In this episode, we’re getting into the complicated world of men, feelings, and the never-ending cycle of “boys don’t cry” and “just suck it up.” We chat about why some men struggle to recognise, understand or openly express what they’re feeling — and how sadness, fear, hurt or vulnerability can sometimes come out looking suspiciously like anger, irritation or the sudden urge to fix something that absolutely does not need fixing.

Are men actually less emotional… or have we simply taught them to hide it so well that even they don't know what's going on in there?

We unpack the stoic-man stereotype, the pressure to “be a man”, emotional repression, and the rather unfortunate consequences of generations of men being told that feelings are basically a software bug.

Because maybe men aren't emotionless. Maybe they're just not fluent in the language of emotion.

Grab a drink, prepare for some uncomfortable truths, and join us as we ask: Are men really less emotional — or have they just been trained not to show it?

We were supposed to record an episode about motivation.

The problem? We had absolutely none.

So, in what can only be described as peak It Aint For Sissies behaviour, we decided that the best way to discuss motivation was to… completely avoid discussing it. Instead, we wandered spectacularly off-topic and talked about pretty much anything and everything that came to mind.

Was there a plan? Sure.
Did we stick to it? Absolutely not.
Did we have a good time anyway? Obviously.

Consider this episode a motivational lesson in what happens when two people are too unmotivated to talk about motivation.

Sometimes you don't need inspiration, productivity hacks or a five-step morning routine. Sometimes you just need to sit down, press record and see where the conversation goes.

Motivation: 0.
Random waffle: 100.
Podcasting: questionable. 😂

Every now and then, it's nice to throw the plan out the window.

This week, we ditch the agenda and settle in for one of those chats that starts in one place, takes a few unexpected detours, and somehow all makes perfect sense by the end. From stories out of our own lives to random topics suggested by friends, this episode is a little bit of everything—and exactly the kind of conversation we'd have if you were sitting across the table with us.

It's funny, it's unfiltered, it's slightly chaotic, and there are probably a few tangents we never saw coming. So grab a coffee, come along for the ride, and remember: sometimes the best conversations are the ones with absolutely no plan.

If your favourite episodes are the ones where we simply chat, laugh, overshare, and wander off on completely unrelated tangents... this one's for you.