It's About DAMN Time

We’ve all had that moment.

The one where something felt off… but we stayed anyway.

In this conversation with Jhamyne “Jhazzy” Joyner, we unpack the difference between lust, love, and longing and the ways we ignore our own intuition in the moment. From intense chemistry and love bombing to slow burns and emotional awareness, this episode is about learning how to recognize what your body already knows.

If it isn’t love… what is it?

And more importantly...why do we keep choosing it?

1. The difference between lust, love, and longing
2. Why intense chemistry can feel right—but still be wrong
3. Love bombing vs. the slow burn
4. Mistaking physical intimacy for emotional connection
5. Ignoring red flags we definitely saw
6. Learning to trust your intuition in relationships
7. What it really means to “do it for the plot” (and why it backfires)

It’s about damn time we listen to our intuition when it comes to love…

and stop ignoring what we already know.

Jhamyne “Jhazzy” Joyner is a poet, creative, and storyteller currently working on her upcoming poetry book, I Should’ve Known by the Way You Kissed Me, a project that explores lust, love, longing, and loss through lived experiences and reflection.

📍 Instagram: @allthatjazz_

📍 Poetry Page: @quotedbyjhané

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In this episode, I talk about the hard realization that everybody can’t go where you’re headed. Not because they’re bad people. Not because you hate them. But because you’re not the same person anymore.

Inspired by a real conversation with my sister, I break down what it looks like when you’ve evolved… and the people around you haven’t.

When nostalgia replaces vision. When loyalty starts costing you momentum. When you find yourself shrinking just to keep old relationships comfortable.

This isn’t about cutting people off.

It’s about recognizing when alignment has shifted.

Because growth costs something. And sometimes… it costs access.

If you’ve been feeling drained, frustrated, or out of place in rooms that used to feel like home, this one is for you.

1. Why growth changes your environment, not just your mindset
2. The difference between loyalty and alignment
3. Outgrowing people you love
4. How I walked away from my former podcast to build It’s About DAMN Time
5. When encouragement fuels you vs. when fear gets projected onto you
6. Why shrinking yourself is self-sabotage
7. How to shift access without making dramatic announcements
8. Observing your energy before and after certain interactions

It’s about DAMN time you stop confusing history with destiny.

It’s about DAMN time you stop shrinking to make other people comfortable.

It’s about DAMN time you accept that growth changes who gets access to you.

Identify one relationship you’re holding onto out of loyalty instead of alignment.

Don’t cut it off.

Just observe.

Pay attention to your energy before and after interacting with that person.

Notice what it does to your momentum.

Notice what it pulls from you.

Awareness first. Decisions later.

Growth isn’t loud.

It’s quiet.

It’s lonely sometimes.

But it’s necessary.

And you don’t have to apologize for evolving.

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This one sat in my notes for six months.

I didn’t record it because I didn’t have the courage. Not because I didn’t have the words.

This episode started with a logo. A conversation. A misunderstanding. And a video that may or may not have been about me.

But that wasn’t the point.

The point was the sting.

The point was realizing that maybe I wasn’t being attacked. Maybe I was being exposed.

Because what if the reason I’m always looking for applause, downloads, compliments, awards, and “you’re dope” messages… is because I don’t trust my own voice?

What if I’ve been outsourcing my self-worth?

In this episode, I sit with the uncomfortable question:

Do I even like me?

Not love. Like.

We talk about:

1. Seeking validation like it’s a dopamine hit
2. Downplaying compliments while still needing them
3. Giving so much to others that you feel valuable
4. Living in the future and never celebrating progress
5. The difference between liking yourself and loving yourself
6. Showing up for yourself as proof

This isn’t a lesson.

It’s not a clean five-step fix.

It’s a confession.

Because love doesn’t come before like.

And maybe it’s about DAMN time we learn how to like ourselves first.

It’s about DAMN time I stop needing the cosign to believe I’m enough.

Ask yourself this week:

Do I like me?

If the answer is yes, name three real reasons. Not surface. Not cute. Real.

If the answer is no… sit with that. No shame. Just honesty.

🔗 Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

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What does it look like when you’re talented, proven, and STILL out here dodging opportunities?

My friend Jada Durden pulled up for a real conversation about playing small. We talk about betting on yourself, imposter syndrome, anxiety, and why some of us will literally run away from paid work even when we’ve already earned the right to be in the room.

Jada breaks down her whole journey. State job to blogging. Blogging to bylines. Social media to marketing manager. Shreveport to Lake Charles to New Orleans. And even with all that, she still had to face the same thing we all face.

It’s not always a lack of skill. Sometimes it’s fear of being seen.

1. Playing small even when you’ve already proven you’re good
2. Imposter syndrome vs anxiety and vulnerability
3. “We have not because we ask not”
4. How Jada quit her state job during COVID and bet on herself
5. Building a career through relationships, networking, and support systems
6. Moving cities as an adult and starting over socially
7. The mindset shift from “Can I?” to “Why not me?”
8. Doing it for the plot. Doing it scared. Doing it anyway

It’s about damn time we stop shrinking when the opportunity is literally looking for us.

This week, pick one thing you’ve been dodging and take the smallest real action:

1. Send the email.
2. Submit the pitch.
3. Follow up.
4. Ask for the rate.
5. Say yes before you talk yourself out of it.

Then tell yourself the truth: you’re not unqualified. You’re uncomfortable. There’s a difference.

Jada Durden

Find her on all platforms: @LovingThisLifeJada

Food, travel, day trips, and life in New Orleans.

🔗 Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

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In this episode, I talk about what it really means to always show up for everyone else — and what it’s taken from me over the years.

For three years straight, I set goals.

For three years straight, I missed most of them.

It wasn’t laziness.

It wasn’t lack of ambition.

It was misdirected energy.

I realized I was investing more time into saving other people than I was building the life I say I want.

And when you’re always Mufasa in everyone’s story…

you forget how to be yourself in your own.

We talk about:

1. The hidden cost of always being the dependable one
2. Why reliability and accessibility are not the same thing
3. The guilt that keeps you stuck in “hero mode”
4. How survivor’s guilt shaped my boundaries
5. Why being the “bad guy” might actually save your life

There’s a difference between being kind and abandoning yourself.

You can be the bad guy in someone’s story for a moment…

or be the bad guy to yourself forever.

It’s about DAMN time we stop confusing self-sacrifice with love.

It’s about DAMN time we stop being the bad guy to ourselves just to be liked.

Choose one moment this week to protect your time.

No explanation.

No over-justifying.

No guilt spiral.

Just choose you.

Sit with the discomfort.

Notice what doesn’t fall apart.

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This wasn’t a planned episode.

This was me hitting record because I couldn’t keep carrying everything in my head.

Lately, I’ve been tired. Not just physically. Mentally. Spiritually. Creatively.

And it had me asking some uncomfortable questions. About the podcast. About my direction. About whether I’m burned out or just done.

Somewhere in all of that, one question kept coming back up:

And maybe more importantly… is it even mine?

In this episode, I talk through burnout, pressure, comparison, and the boxes we put ourselves in trying to be liked, understood, or validated. I don’t have a neat answer. I’m not teaching a framework. I’m just being honest about what it feels like to realize the way you’ve been moving no longer fits.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected from something you once loved, or stuck trying to live up to expectations that aren’t really yours, this one’s for you.

No perfection.

No polish.

Just a real moment in the middle of a shift.

It’s about damn time I stop moving for everyone else and start defining my why for myself.

Take some time this week to discover or rediscover your why.

Not the one that sounds good.

Not the one that makes other people comfortable.

The one that actually belongs to you.

Write it down. Sit with it. Let it change if it needs to.

🔗 Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

🎧 Follow It’s About DAMN Time: @ItsAboutDamnTimePod

💥 Cop the DAMN University merch right here → Shop now

In this solo episode, I freestyle my way through a realization I’ve been avoiding for a while. The people you’re closest to might not be the people helping you move forward. And that doesn’t make them bad people. It just means your life has shifted.

I break down why trying to get everything from one group will burn you out, how over-pouring into others can stall your own progress, and why it’s okay to build different cliques for different parts of your life.

This isn’t about cutting people off.

It’s about getting honest about what you need.

Because loyalty without growth eventually turns into resentment.

And it’s about damn time we talked about that.

1. Why being the “captain” of your clique can quietly hold you back
2. The difference between pouring into people and being pulled up
3. Why you don’t need one clique. You need the right ones
4. How your environment impacts your motivation, discipline, and goals
5. The mistake I keep making with the relationships that actually push me forward
6. Why balance beats grind culture and comfort every time

It’s about damn time you stop expecting one group of people to meet every need in your life.

This week, identify the cliques you actually need.

Not who you’ve been loyal to.

Not who’s always around.

Who makes you better?

For me, that’s:

1. A fitness clique
2. A creative clique
3. A fun, blow-off-steam clique

Figure out yours. Then start watering the right relationships.

If this episode had you thinking about your circle, your growth, or your balance, share it with someone who might need to hear it too.

Let’s build better environments.

Let’s get 1% better every day.

🔗 Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

🎧 Follow It’s About DAMN Time: @ItsAboutDamnTimePod

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You ever think you’re burned out… but realize you’re just exhausted from being available to everybody but yourself?

Yeah. That part.

In this episode, I’m coming back from a short hiatus and telling the truth about why rest didn’t actually feel like rest. It wasn’t burnout. It was overextension.

Too many conversations. Too much access. Too much proving love by showing up at the expense of my own goals.

We talk about the difference between consistency and over-availability, how poor boundaries turn other people’s urgency into your emergency, and why this season of building requires less access to me and more commitment to myself.

This isn’t about cutting people off.

It’s about finally choosing yourself without guilt.

1. Why burnout isn’t always the real problem
2. How overextending for others drains your purpose
3. The lie we tell ourselves about “being consistent”
4. Why availability is not the same as love
5. Setting boundaries without over-explaining yourself
6. Choosing your goals without feeling like the villain

1. “Everybody’s urgency became my emergency”
2. Why helping everyone else kept me stuck
3. The cost of proving love through access
4. Why this season requires less of them and more of me

It’s about damn time I limit access to pursue the goals and dreams I actually want and need.

Identify one place where you’re overextending yourself this week.

Pull back without explanation.

No long story. No justification. Just do it.

See how it feels.

If this episode hit home, don’t just listen.

Share it.

Post it in your stories.

Send it to someone who needs permission to choose themselves.

That’s how you help me keep this thing moving.

🔗 Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

🎧 Follow It’s About DAMN Time: @ItsAboutDamnTimePod

💥 Cop the DAMN University merch right here → Shop now

Episode: Stress Less, Weigh Less: The Connection Between Stress and Weight (Featuring Medina Henry)

Originally aired: 11/7/2023

This week’s Fan Favorite comes from Malinda, who picked this episode because it finally connected the dots between stress, survival mode, and weight in a way that made sense without shame.

In this conversation, I’m joined by Medina Henry, and we break down why doing “everything right” still doesn’t work when your nervous system is fried. This isn’t about willpower. It’s about cortisol, trauma, sleep, and the weight we carry that has nothing to do with food.

You’ll hear the full replay, then I’ll close with a short reflection on why managing stress had to come before managing anything else.

1. Why chronic stress sabotages weight loss
2. How cortisol affects cravings, sleep, digestion, and metabolism
3. The mental and emotional side of “holding weight”
4. Why weight is often the symptom, not the problem
5. Unlearning shame around health and body image
6. Realistic, practical ways to support your nervous system
7. Letting go of Instagram wellness fluff and choosing grace

I reflect on the moment I realized I couldn’t out-diet or out-exercise unmanaged stress.

Identify your top two stress triggers this week. Choose one small way to show your body some love.

Which episode changed how you look at your body or your health? Tag @DaWholeDamnShow and @ItsAboutDamnTimePod with your pick and why.

🔗 Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

🎧 Follow It’s About DAMN Time: @ItsAboutDamnTimePod

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Episode: Choosing Yourself: How to Set Boundaries With Difficult Family Members (Featuring Stephanie Perkins)

Originally aired: June 6, 2023

This week’s Fan Favorite comes from Jamie, who picked this episode because it tackles one of the hardest truths: sometimes the people you need boundaries with the most are family. Even when the love is real. Even when the guilt is heavy.

In this conversation, I’m joined by Stephanie Perkins — mental health advocate, dope energy carrier, and friend — as she shares how choosing herself meant creating distance from a toxic family dynamic. Not for drama. Not for punishment. For survival.

You’ll hear the full replay, then I’ll close with a short reflection on why this message still matters.

1. Why setting boundaries with family hits differently
2. Recognizing when love becomes emotionally unsafe
3. Stephanie’s decision to stand firm with her mother
4. How therapy and support helped interrupt generational trauma
5. Choosing yourself without waiting for permission
6. Creating healthy distance from one-sided relationships
7. What it’s about damn time for you to start doing

Which episode helped you choose yourself? Tag @DaWholeDamnShow and @ItsAboutDamnTimePod with your pick and why.

🔗 Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

🎧 Follow It’s About DAMN Time: @ItsAboutDamnTimePod

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