It's About DAMN Time

Everybody keeps telling us to rest, heal, set boundaries and take care of ourselves.

Cool.

But the rent is still due.

In this episode, I sit down with Medina “Nia” Henry to talk about what healing actually looks like when life won’t slow down long enough for you to do it.

We get into the difference between physical rest and mental rest, why knowing better doesn’t always mean you have the capacity to do better, doomscrolling as a form of distraction, the fear of sitting alone with your own thoughts and what happens when you stop trying to figure out exactly HOW everything is going to work out.

And somewhere along the way, I had to confront something about myself:

I can believe things will work out for everybody else a whole lot easier than I can believe it for me.

Maybe healing doesn’t begin when everything finally calms down.

Maybe it starts with figuring out what you can put down today.

In this episode:

• What burnout looks like when quitting isn’t an option
• Physical rest vs. mental rest
• Why “knowing better” isn’t always enough
• Doomscrolling, overstimulation and avoiding your own thoughts
• Finding small pockets of space when you don’t have much time
• Why asking for help can be part of healing
• Letting go of needing to know exactly how everything will work out

Follow Medina on IG → here

Keep up with everything Medina is doing → here

Listen to Diabetes UNplugged → here

🔗 Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

🎧 Follow It’s About DAMN Time: @ItsAboutDamnTimePod

💥 Cop the DAMN University merch right here → Shop now

Lately, I haven't been taking care of myself. Work stress. Money stress. Bad sleep. Not exercising. Creativity feeling stuck. And after three panic attacks in a few weeks, I had to stop telling myself I was fine.

But this episode became about something bigger.

Why are we so willing to endure things we already know aren't working?

Jobs. Relationships. Habits. Entire versions of our lives.

Sometimes we're so focused on making it through the day that we never stop long enough to ask whether the life we're fighting so hard to maintain is actually making us happy.

I don't have the answer in this episode. I'm still figuring my own shit out.

But maybe evolving starts with being willing to admit that something isn't working anymore.

In this episode, I talk about:

• The difference between enduring and evolving

• What almost walking out of my job made me realize

• How survival mode can affect your health, creativity, and happiness

• Why we stay in situations long after we know they're draining us

• The uncomfortable question I couldn't answer about what makes me happy

• Why I don't have a five-step solution this time

• Taking small steps when changing everything feels impossible

Because maybe the question isn't, "How do I keep getting through this?"

Maybe it's, "Why am I still trying to?"

🔗 Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

🎧 Follow It’s About DAMN Time: @ItsAboutDamnTimePod

💥 Cop the DAMN University merch right here → Shop now

What if part of healing is going back for the version of yourself that stopped talking?

My friend Tamara Cox joins me for a conversation that started with a simple phrase: Heal Out Loud.

Tamara stepped away from social media for almost nine months. She needed the break. But when she came back, she realized she wasn't just returning to social media. She was trying to find a version of herself she felt like she had lost.

We talk about choosing authenticity over perfection, protecting your mental health, losing people when you show up as yourself, adjusting mentally to physical change, and learning that healing doesn't always happen through some huge breakthrough.

√ Sometimes healing is getting out of bed.

√ Going to therapy.

√ Setting the boundary.

√ Showing up when you don't feel ready.

And somewhere in this conversation, Tamara stopped talking about herself and unknowingly started talking directly to me.

Because maybe I've gotten a little quieter too.

In this episode:

• What “healing out loud” actually means

• Why Tamara disappeared from social media for almost nine months

• Losing your voice and learning to trust it again

• Choosing authenticity even when people don't accept it

• Body image after significant weight loss

• Why your old self doesn't deserve to be erased

• Healing through ordinary moments instead of waiting for breakthroughs

Follow Tamara on Instagram and TikTok: @hey.ms.tamara

🔗 Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

🎧 Follow It’s About DAMN Time: @ItsAboutDamnTimePod

💥 Cop the DAMN University merch right here → Shop now

Then peace finally shows up...and something about it feels weird.

So we start looking for something to fix. Something to worry about. Something to react to. Sometimes we even create the very chaos we said we were tired of.

This week, my friend and DAMN University alum Leigh LaRie is back, and she is NOT the same woman who joined me for Surviving Survival Mode.

Leigh has spent the last few years doing the work. Setting boundaries. Changing how she responds to triggers. Taking better care of herself. Reevaluating friendships. Holding herself accountable. And most importantly, learning how to stop sabotaging the peace she worked so hard to find.

We talk about why familiar chaos can feel safer than unfamiliar peace, what happens when your growth changes your friendships, and why healing isn't just knowing your triggers. It's seeing what you do when those triggers show up again.

And sometimes the hardest part of changing your life isn't getting what you asked for.

It's believing you deserve to keep it.

• Why peace can feel uncomfortable when you're used to chaos
• How Leigh realized her healing was actually working
• The difference between knowing your triggers and responding differently to them
• Why we sometimes sabotage the very things we say we want
• What happens to friendships when you start changing
• Why every relationship doesn't need a dramatic "cutoff"
• Learning to feel emotions without immediately reacting to them
• Finding self-care that actually works for YOU
• Why small changes don't always give you instant results
• Accountability without beating yourself up
• Making room for the things that actually matter
• Learning to accept happiness without waiting for something to go wrong

"It's about DAMN time that people stop running from the peace that they prayed for." — Leigh LaRie

Follow Leigh LaRie across social media and check out the Dirty Roses Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.

This week, pay attention to one moment when everything is actually...okay.

No emergency. No problem to solve. Nobody needs saving.

Notice what your brain tries to do with that silence.

Before you create a problem, revisit an old one, or go looking for something to worry about, ask yourself:

Am I uncomfortable because something is wrong...or because peace still feels unfamiliar?

Sit with it.

You asked for peace.

Give yourself a chance to actually have it.

Follow Leigh on IG → here

Follow The Dirty Roses Podcast on IG → here

Visit The Dirty Roses Podcast Website → here

🔗 Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

🎧 Follow It’s About DAMN Time: @ItsAboutDamnTimePod

💥 Cop the DAMN University merch right here → Shop now

Maybe you want to be held. Maybe you want a real conversation. Maybe you want to feel seen, understood, safe, or connected to somebody again.

This week, I'm joined by spiritual intimacy coach and sensual alchemist Inez Powell for a conversation about what intimacy really looks like beyond the bedroom.

We talk about why so many of us confuse sex with intimacy, how stress and disconnection affect our relationships, why communicating what we need can feel so damn hard, and the different ways we experience connection that have nothing to do with sex.

I also had a realization during this conversation: sometimes when I thought I wanted sex, what I really wanted was intimacy. A hug. Some affection.

To be the little spoon and get my head rubbed.

And for men especially, why can asking for something that simple feel so difficult?

This conversation goes places I wasn't expecting, including men's emotional health, vulnerability, boundaries, kink, communication, and how the way we were raised affects our ability to connect as adults.

Maybe the problem isn't that we need more sex.

Maybe we need to get better at recognizing and asking for the intimacy we're actually missing.

• Why sex and intimacy aren't the same thing
• How emotional, intellectual, physical, and experiential connection show up in relationships
• Why affection doesn't always have to lead to sex
• Learning how to ask for the touch and connection you need
• How communication can make or break intimacy
• Why men aren't always given space to express vulnerability
• Setting boundaries and communicating desires without shame
• How childhood messages about masculinity can follow men into adulthood
• Why reconnecting with yourself matters before trying to connect with somebody else

Inez Powell is a spiritual intimacy coach, sensual alchemist, yoga instructor, massage therapist, and Reiki practitioner whose work explores intimacy, energy, connection, and personal growth.

Connect with Inez on Instagram at @blacklistenyogi.

Slow down long enough to check in with yourself.

What kind of connection do you actually need right now?

Before looking for someone else to fill that need, take some time to reconnect with yourself. Get outside. Touch some grass. Breathe. Rest. Play. Do something that pours back into you.

Because sometimes becoming more connected to other people starts with becoming more connected to yourself.

🔗 Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

🎧 Follow It’s About DAMN Time: @ItsAboutDamnTimePod

💥 Cop the DAMN University merch right here → Shop now

I didn't plan this episode.

No outline. No real direction. I just needed to talk.

After dealing with some unexpected grief, old guilt, and my own fear of how short life really is, I found myself asking a question I wasn't prepared to answer:

What actually makes me happy?

And the fucked up part?

I didn't know.

I've spent years showing up for other people. My daughter. My family. My friends. My job. This podcast. But somewhere along the way, I got so used to putting myself last that I stopped knowing what choosing myself even looked like.

So this episode became less about grief and more about what grief made me realize.

Life is short. We say that shit all the time.

But what does it actually mean to live when you're dealing with bills, financial stress, responsibilities, survival mode, and people who depend on you?

Maybe living doesn't start with the big vacation, the new car, or finally having enough money.

Maybe it starts smaller.

Buying the damn shoes you've needed for four years.

Saving a little money toward that trip.

Finally getting the tattoo you've been talking about forever.

Making room for something that exists simply because you want it.

Because if we've spent years practicing how to put ourselves last, maybe we have to start practicing how to choose ourselves too.

In this episode, I talk about grief, my fear of death, financial struggles, losing yourself in your responsibilities, why accepting help can be so damn hard, and the uncomfortable realization that I don't really know what makes me happy right now.

I don't have the answer yet.

But maybe finding out is the work.

Pick one thing you've always wanted to do and take one real step toward it.

Don't worry about whether you can do the whole thing today.

Research it. Price it. Save $20. Make the call. Write the first page. Put something on the calendar.

Start conditioning yourself to make room for you.

Life is short.

You deserve to live some of yours for yourself.

🔗 Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

🎧 Follow It’s About DAMN Time: @ItsAboutDamnTimePod

💥 Cop the DAMN University merch right here → Shop now

This week, I’m joined by content creator Efa Akutekha for one of the most honest conversations I’ve had about friendship breakups, emotional accountability, and the stories we tell ourselves when relationships fall apart.

We talk about the pain of losing people who once felt like family, constantly being the “bigger person,” and what happens when one person keeps growing while the other stays the same.

We also get into:

• Why friendship breakups can hurt more than romantic ones
• The emotional labor of always repairing the relationship
• The “good person” narrative and avoiding accountability
• Outgrowing certain mindsets, behaviors, and people
• Why self-reflection matters in every relationship
• Learning when to step back before a friendship fully implodes

Plus, Efa shares what IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME for people to realize about friendship breakups and accountability.

Yeah…this episode might make you rethink a few relationships.

Follow Efa on TikTok → here

Follow Efa on all other platforms → @aye_effie

Visit her website → here

Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

Follow It’s About DAMN Time: @ItsAboutDamnTimePod

Cop the DAMN University merch right here → Shop now

Sometimes burnout doesn't look like falling apart.

Sometimes it looks like saying, "I'll deal with it later."

That's exactly what I did.

For over a month I ignored a cough. I convinced myself I didn't have time to go to the doctor because there were bills to pay, work to do, and a daughter to prepare for college.

Then one nurse practitioner asked me a simple question.

When she found out I already had the medicine I needed at home, she looked at me and said:

That sentence had nothing to do with ear drops.

It had everything to do with me.

In this impromptu episode, I talk about survival mode, self-neglect, and why knowing you should take care of yourself isn't the same as actually doing it.

If you've been putting everyone else first...

This one's for you.

🔗 Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

🎧 Follow It’s About DAMN Time: @ItsAboutDamnTimePod

💥 Cop the DAMN University merch right here → Shop now

This week, I’m back with friend of the show, Dee 'Lil D' Porter, and we had to talk about a phrase that sounds good…until you really sit with it.

Do you though?

Or are you just letting people stay who never should’ve had access in the first place?

We get real about self-esteem, patterns, and the truth about why you keep ending up in the same situations with different people. From wild dating stories to hard accountability, this conversation isn’t about blaming others. It’s about looking in the mirror and asking better questions.

Because at some point…you gotta stop saying “this keeps happening to me” and start asking “why do I keep allowing this?”

• The difference between attraction and tolerance
• How low self-esteem shows up in your dating choices
• Why “they like me” is not a good enough reason to stay
• The role of boundaries in who gets access to you
• Recognizing misalignment early and what to do about it
• Why potential will keep you stuck longer than reality
• The truth about outgrowing people and relationships

It’s about damn time I stop confusing understanding someone with excusing them.

Take a real look at your life this week.

Where are you saying you want better…

but still entertaining what doesn’t match?

Ask yourself:

• What am I currently tolerating that I said I wouldn’t?
• Who has access to me that hasn’t earned it?
• Where am I ignoring patterns because I see potential?

Then make one decision that reflects your standards…not your comfort.

Follow Lil D on IG → here

Watch her new show, Love Lessons on YouTube → here

Visit her website → here

Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

Follow It’s About DAMN Time: @ItsAboutDamnTimePod

Cop the DAMN University merch right here: → Shop now

Some weeks, showing up feels impossible.

Not because you've quit.

Not because you don't care.

You're just... tired.

In this unplanned and completely unscripted solo episode, I talk through something I've been wrestling with myself. What do you do when you're mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted, but your dreams are still waiting on you?

This isn't an episode where I pretend to have all the answers. It's a conversation about trying to move forward when motivation is gone, perfection isn't happening, and "doing your best" looks different than it did a few months ago.

I share why I believe progress still counts, even if all you have in you is one small step.

If you've been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or like life has quietly passed you by while you've been trying to survive, this one's for you.

• Why being tired isn't the same as giving up
• How perfection keeps us from showing up
• The power of making your goals impossible to ignore
• Why regulating your nervous system matters more than pushing harder
• How the people around you can either fuel your dreams or slowly talk you out of them
• What "1% better" really looks like when you're running on empty

This week, don't try to change your entire life.

Just pay attention.

Notice where your mind naturally goes.

Notice how your body responds to stress.

Notice whether the people around you push you toward your dreams or pull you away from them.

Then ask yourself one simple question:

What's one small thing I can do today to move my life forward?

No heroics.

Just one step.

If this conversation resonated with you, I'd love to hear from you. Send me a DM, leave a comment, or share this episode with someone who's been carrying more than they've been saying.

And if you're enjoying the show, subscribing and leaving a review is one of the best ways to help more people discover It's About DAMN Time.

🔗 Follow me on all platforms: @DaWholeDamnShow

🎧 Follow It’s About DAMN Time: @ItsAboutDamnTimePod

💥 Cop the DAMN University merch right here → Shop now