it's cool, us too

This week, we’re joined by Maggie Hildebrand — founder of Connection Collective — and honestly… a bit of a real-life reminder that the life you want might not exist yet because you’re the one meant to create it.

After moving from the East Coast to Toronto, Maggie found herself feeling something a lot of us quietly experience but don’t always say out loud: making real friends as an adult is hard. Like… really hard.

So instead of waiting for it to magically happen, she did something bold (and slightly unhinged, in the best way): she hosted a picnic for strangers.

That one picnic turned into a movement.

Now, Maggie runs a full-time community designed to help women build deep, meaningful friendships in a city that can often feel isolating. In this episode, we get into what it actually takes to build connection, why in-person matters more than ever, and what happens when you decide to bet on yourself—even when it’s uncomfortable.

We talk about:

• What it really feels like to start over in a new city
• Why making friends in your 20s and 30s feels so much harder
• “Climbing the cringe mountain” and putting yourself out there anyway
• Turning something personal into a business (without losing the heart of it)
• Taking the leap from a stable career into the unknown
• What it actually means to find your “calling”
• And why living well might just mean feeling excited about your life again

This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt a little lonely, a little stuck, or like something is missing—and is ready to do something about it.

If you loved this episode, please send it to a friend. Or... take this as your sign to make the plan, host the dinner, or send the text.

Be sure to follow Maggie and the Collective, and check out their website for upcoming events:

@maggiehildebrand

@connectioncollective.to

https://www.connectioncollective.ca/

In this episode, we’re talking about something we’ve been thinking about a lot lately: what it actually means to be a good friend to friends who have kids—when that’s not your life.

Because here’s the truth:

You can love your friends deeply… and still not fully understand what they need.

We’ve both had moments where we thought we were showing up well—only to realize there was a gap between our intentions and our impact.

So today, we’re unpacking that.

We talk about:

• Why “let me know how I can help” doesn’t actually help
• The subtle ways we (as non-parents) sometimes miss the mark
• What’s really going on beneath the surface for friends with kids
• How friendships shift in your 30s—and how to evolve with them
• What being part of someone’s “village” actually looks like in real life

This isn’t about guilt or pressure.

It’s about awareness, intention, and becoming a more thoughtful friend—without losing yourself in the process.

Because being a villager isn’t about doing everything. It’s about choosing to show up… in ways that actually land.

In this episode, we’re talking about something that feels quietly true but hard to name:

It feels like there’s no space to be a beginner anymore.

At work, in dating, in friendships, even in who we’re becoming, there’s this underlying pressure to already be good. To already know. To already have it figured out.

But that’s not how any of us actually got here.

We unpack the idea that we may be optimizing for efficiency at the cost of development, especially in a world shaped by AI, rising expectations, and less tolerance for learning out loud.

Inspired by a piece from Zoe Scaman, we explore what happens when the “beginner phase” starts to disappear, and why that might be affecting more of our lives than we realize.

This episode is part career conversation, part life conversation, and part honest reflection on what it actually takes to grow into someone.

We talk about:

• Why it feels like you’re expected to be good immediately
• How AI and shifting workplaces are changing how people develop
• The loss of junior roles and what that means long term
• The importance of mentorship and being allowed to learn
• How this shows up in dating, friendships, and identity
• The pressure to be polished versus the reality of being in progress
• Why feeling “behind” might actually mean you’re right on time

And maybe most importantly:

What it looks like to let yourself be a beginner again, even when the world makes that feel uncomfortable.

If you’ve been feeling behind, unsure, or like everyone else got a manual you didn’t, this one is for you.

The full article, The Pipeline Problem by Zoe Scaman can be found here: https://zoescaman.substack.com/p/the-pipeline-problem?r=9neiz&utm_medium=ios&triedRedirect=true

In this episode, we’re unpacking something that feels quietly true but rarely gets said out loud:

We expect everything from our friends…but structure nothing around them.

We want consistency, emotional depth, validation, fun, and growth, all from the same people. And when that doesn’t happen? We spiral, overanalyze, or send the long text.

But at the same time…

We don’t build our lives around friendship.We don’t prioritize it like we do romantic relationships.We accept that friends will “naturally drift.”

So which is it?

Are our friendships central to our lives, or just filling space until something else takes priority?

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why modern friendship feels so high-pressure and low-structure

• The rise of “friendship performance reviews”

• Expecting one friend to be everything

• Why we invest more in romance than friendship

• Building a “friendship ecosystem” instead

• Letting friendships evolve without blowing them up

• What it actually looks like to prioritize friendship

If you’ve ever felt disappointed in a friend, confused by shifting dynamics, or like you’re carrying too much in one relationship, this one’s for you.

Because maybe the goal isn’t to find the perfect friend.

Maybe it’s to build a life where friendship can actually breathe.

In this week’s episode, we’re talking about something that doesn’t get named enough when it comes to dating in your 30s: the mini griefs.

Dating at this stage of life often isn’t defined by one big heartbreak. It’s the accumulation of smaller moments — the almost relationships, the ghosting after momentum, the slow fades, and the future you briefly imagined that never quite happens.

These micro-disappointments can quietly add up over time, leaving you feeling more guarded, more tired, and wondering why dating suddenly feels heavier than it used to.

In this episode, we unpack why these moments hit differently in your 30s, how they shape the way we show up in dating, and how to build emotional resilience without becoming hardened or cynical.

We talk about the difference between grieving the person versus the potential, why future-tripping can make disappointment harder, and how to process dating setbacks so they don’t linger longer than they need to.

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking “Why does this feel like such a big deal when it wasn’t even a real relationship?” this conversation is for you.

Because the goal isn’t to avoid disappointment.

It’s to learn how to bounce back faster, stay open, and keep your life bigger than your dating life.

In this week’s episode, we’re talking about visibility and how it might be the missing piece between where you are and where you want to be.

After reading a piece by Alexa DaFonte about “engineering your own luck,” we started thinking about how often we wait to be discovered instead of making ourselves findable. We assume people know what we want. We assume the right opportunity will land. We assume timing will just… work itself out.

But what if luck responds to proximity, clarity, and the courage to be seen?

We talk about how visibility shows up in dating and career, why courage matters more than confidence, and the small daily ways you can expand your “surface area” without becoming performative or cringe.

We also share some life updates — including Meag’s spontaneous travel magic, what it’s like being single around couples, and recent moments where taking initiative led to unexpected connection.

This episode is for the woman who knows she wants more and is ready to participate a little more boldly in her own life.

Original inspiration:

Follow Alexa DaFonte on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alexadafonte
Read “Engineering My Own Luck” on Substack: https://alexadafonte.substack.com/p/engineering-my-own-luck-if-anyone

This week’s episode is one we’ve been sitting on for a while.

Nicole shares a deeply personal update on her fertility journey — including a scary moment after receiving ovarian reserve results and her decision to move forward with egg and embryo freezing.

Then Meagan opens up about something she didn’t think would ever be on her bingo card: her 8-month journey on a GLP-1 (Wegovy/Ozempic).

We talk about:

• The stigma around GLP-1s
• Feeling like it’s “cheating”
• Body image in your 30s
• Food noise (and what it actually feels like when it quiets)
• Dating and confidence shifts
• The return of thinness culture
• Why you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your health decisions
• The vulnerability of sharing something before you know how it ends

This is not a weight-loss episode.

It’s a curiosity episode.

It’s a “women deserve better information about their bodies” episode.

If you’ve ever:

• Felt conflicted about your body
• Wondered whether GLP-1s are “for you”
• Struggled with food noise
• Felt like your worth was tied to a number
• Or are navigating fertility fears in your 30s

This conversation is for you.

As always: we’re not doctors. We’re just two women in our 30s sharing our real experiences so you feel less alone.

If this episode resonates, send it to a friend. And if you have questions, our DMs are open.

In this week's episode, we sit down with Janell Karst — executive coach, creator of the Badass Planner Method, and Marketing Director for a global brand — for a deeply honest conversation about the moment many women quietly experience but rarely say out loud:

Is this all there is?

At 36, Janell hit her first real rock bottom while living what looked like a dream life on paper: the career, the house, the baby, the dog, the husband who adored her. And yet, something felt deeply off. As she puts it, there was no Janell in the life she had built.

That uncomfortable question became the catalyst for a powerful inward journey — one rooted not in blowing everything up, but in choosing herself consistently, rebuilding confidence through action, and fighting the quiet pull of mediocrity.

We talk about:

• ​Why feeling unfulfilled doesn’t make you ungrateful
• ​How to tell the difference between being stable and being stuck
• ​Why confidence isn’t something you have — it’s something you practice
• ​How starting with something physical can unlock emotional clarity
• ​The real cost of waiting for permission or perfect timing
• ​What it actually looks like to design a life that feels aligned, not performative

This episode is for the woman who’s doing “well,” but knows there’s more.For the one quietly asking the question — and wondering what comes next.

Follow Janell Karst on Instagram: @janellkarstJoin The Year of the Fire Horse: ALL IN Series — a 3-day live Zoom experience with Janell on Feb. 16, 17 & 18.

👉 https://janellkarst.myflodesk.com/firehorse

If you’ve been asking “is this all there is?” — this is for you.

This week, we’re unpacking a question that stopped us in our tracks after reading the viral Vogue article: is having a boyfriend… embarrassing now? While we may be late to the game on this one, the conversation is still as relevant as ever.

Somehow, we’ve landed in a cultural moment where independence is celebrated, detachment is cool, and wanting a relationship can feel a little… cringe? From situationships to soft-launching partners (or never launching them at all), dating in your 30s feels very different than it did even a few years ago.

We get into it all — starting with the very real, very humbling moments that come with modern dating (including Nicole being left on a curb waiting for an Uber that never included her). Meagan shares her snowstorm-induced breaking point, living on the eighth floor, feeling stuck, overstimulated, and over it — which somehow feels like the perfect metaphor for dating right now.

From there, we zoom out and talk about what’s actually happening beneath the surface:

• Why being “chill” and unattached became the gold standard

• The pressure women feel to prove they don’t need anyone

• How independence got confused with emotional distance

• And why wanting partnership doesn’t make you weak, embarrassing, or behind

We also talk about the quiet contradiction so many of us live in: building full, beautiful, independent lives — while still wanting love, intimacy, and someone to come home to. Both can exist. Neither cancels the other out.

If you’ve ever felt weird admitting you want a relationship… or judged for staying single… or confused about what you’re supposed to want at this stage of life — this one’s for you.

Winter has a reputation problem — and honestly, we think it’s been misunderstood.

In this episode, we talk about why winter feels so hard right now and why it’s not because you’re lazy, unmotivated, or “doing life wrong.” It’s because we go from the dopamine highs of December straight into full productivity mode… with zero transition. And our nervous systems are understandably confused.

We break down what’s actually happening, why January can feel heavier than expected, and how to move through winter in a way that feels softer, more intentional, and a little more romantic — without forcing a glow-up or pretending you love the cold.

This episode is part real talk, part practical tools — with plenty of stories, reframes, and gentle permission slips along the way.

Let us know what winter feels like for you right now — or share your favorite way to romanticize it — and we’ll see you next week 🤍