It's Embert

In Season 4, Episode 36, Embert recounts his night at a local “paint-your-own-pottery” event—and it's as chaotic as you’d expect.

This episode delivers:

• A takedown of forced whimsy and performative joy

• An encounter with a man who probably owns three didgeridoos

• The story of a rainbow cat mug that nearly broke Embert’s spirit

• And the quote of the night: “If a ceramic owl speaks to me, I’m throwing holy water.”

If you’re tired of pretending arts and crafts count as enlightenment, this one’s for you.

New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert escapes another well-meaning ambush from people who want him to "paint his inner child."

In Season 4, Episode 35, Embert reflects on the days when parents weren’t afraid to parent—and kids actually respected authority.

Expect:

• A hilarious (and slightly terrifying) story about being grounded for blinking wrong

• A roast of modern parenting negotiations

• Embert’s take on “boundaries” and why his grandson needs a manual labor internship

• And the quote of the episode: “We didn’t need time-outs. We had fear-induced stillness.”

If you’re exhausted from watching toddlers rule the world like sippy-cup tyrants, this episode is your therapy.

New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert sees a five-year-old cuss out their mom and survive.

In Season 4, Episode 34, Embert tackles the rising trend of calling men “mothers” during Pride Month campaigns, and he’s not having it.

You’ll hear:

• A no-nonsense breakdown of what makes a mother

• A fiery response to corporate virtue signaling

• A brutal (but hilarious) takedown of his grandson’s argument

• And a classic Embert warning: “If you rewrite reality long enough, it’ll eventually return the favor—with interest.”

If you’re tired of watching the world bend logic into knots just to avoid hurt feelings, this episode’s for you.

New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert finishes screaming at the TV without breaking the remote.

In Season 4, Episode 33, Embert unleashes a full wardrobe intervention for the modern age. From glitter Crocs to cryptic t-shirts, nothing is safe.

Inside:

• A takedown of “aesthetics” that make no seasonal sense

• A call for bringing back clothing categories

• A showdown with a shirt that might be a cry for help

• And Embert’s new fashion advice: “Stop looking like a walking panic attack.”

If you’ve ever wondered when society stopped ironing things—or why your shoes cost more than your rent—this episode will bring peace to your wrinkled, chaotic soul.

New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert survives a trip to the mall without yelling at a holographic sales associate.

In Season 4, Episode 32, Embert unleashes a full-force tirade on the downfall of public behavior.

You’ll get:

• A meltdown about FaceTiming in grocery stores

• A dental office phone call gone too far

• A courtroom tank top incident

• And the unforgettable line: “In my day, your truth didn’t matter if your manners were missing.”

If you’ve ever witnessed someone flossing on a bus or clipping their toenails in a café (true story, Embert’s still traumatized), this episode’s for you.

New episodes drop regularly, or when Embert recovers from seeing another adult pick their toenails in an airport lounge.

In Season 4, Episode 31, Embert calls out the modern trend of demanding respect without earning it. From job interviews with flip-flops to expired coupon meltdowns, he’s had enough of the “I’m owed” mindset.

Inside this episode:

• A rant about entitlement culture

• A story about his “structurally confused” feet

• The difference between kindness and obligation

• And a clear message: “Respect is earned. Not issued like a name tag.”

This episode is Embert in full form—grumbly, wise, and just one more public tantrum away from snapping like a dry breadstick.

New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert needs to remind the world that effort still matters.

In Season 4, Episode 30, Embert lights into the modern misuse of the word burnout, calling out how laziness and emotional softness have been rebranded as heroic exhaustion.

What’s inside:

• The difference between true burnout and being inconvenienced

• A savage takedown of “burnout influencers”

• A rant about his grandson’s “creative fatigue”

• And the reminder: “Being tired isn’t special. It’s Tuesday.”

If you’ve had enough of people confusing normal effort with existential collapse, this episode’s your cup of scalding hot truth.

New episodes drop regularly, or when Embert finishes yelling at his microwave for “beeping too smugly.”

In Season 4, Episode 29, Embert takes on the age of oversharing, calling out the obsession with turning private life into public spectacle.

What to expect:

• A scorching roast of social media trauma competitions

• A story about a lawn mower, a lightning storm, and one cousin who never got forgiven

• A rant about the difference between vulnerability and attention-seeking

• And this gem: “Some things aren’t relatable—they’re just weird. Keep it.”

If you’ve ever wanted to scream, “WHY would you post that?!” this episode is your catharsis.

New episodes drop regularly, unless Embert accidentally goes viral for yelling at a man recording his therapy session at a Cracker Barrel.

In Season 4, Episode 28, Embert rolls his eyes straight through the modern obsession with being “uniquely broken”. He takes aim at the way people mistake attention for validation and confuse relatability with depth.

You’ll hear:

• A rant about “neurospicy” sandwich confusion

• Embert’s grandson inventing trauma for social points

• A Target oat milk meltdown

• And this Embert classic: “You're not special. You're just very, very online.”

For anyone exhausted by internet personalities trying to turn every emotion into content, this one’s your sermon.

New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert tries to buy a candle and ends up yelling at a ring light display.

In Season 4, Episode 27, Embert tackles the growing confusion between being nice and being good. He reminds listeners that smiling, nodding, and avoiding conflict doesn’t make you moral—it makes you quiet. And the world doesn’t need more of that.

What you’ll hear:

• Embert’s story about Barbara the overly polite but completely useless toaster

• A roast of fake kindness, tone policing, and “supportive” people who ghost you at the first sign of effort

• A plea to bring back truth-telling and integrity over likability

• And this closer: “Nice is safe. Good is earned.”

This episode is sharp, wandering, hilarious—and more important than some people want to admit.

New episodes drop regularly, or whenever Embert remembers what he was yelling about mid-sentence.

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