It's Five O'Clock Somewhere

This week, we attempted to talk about Mother's Day, and whether it is a delightful tradition, or a huge corporate rip off, and important feminist topics like whose responsibility it actually is to arrange Mother's Day. But we are, as ever, very easily side tracked and therefore we ended up discussing equally important topics like the joy of elasticated waistbands, Princess Di figurines and ceramic cats, whether tea can go off, Jo's latest nest of pants for her cats, and the time Gill misguided wore denim hotpants and purple wellies to be a parent helper at Guide Camp. None of this was anything to do with us both drinking very strong gin cocktails while recording...

This week we are chatting about various issues surrounding International Women's Day, including the differences between bringing up girls and bringing up boys, our favourite topic of Why Are Men, and why so many women don't want to call themselves feminists anymore. And yes, we do also mention That Question about International Women's Day. We also may say 'F*ck the patriarchy' quite a lot, because well, f*ck the patriarchy!

We had the very bright idea to attempt to discuss spring cleaning and why we couldn't be bothered with it, but it became quickly apparent that we couldn't even be bothered talking about it, as we immediately digressed onto topics such as unspeakable things floating in hot tubs; our now regular update on Jo's pants; Gill's love of internet stalking former crushes; an attempt to bribe Allan the plumber with After-8 sticks, and some important do's and don'ts before a first date. We also eventually conclude that when it comes to cleaning, the Five Second Rule and the 'Clean Dirt' theory are really all you need...

This week, we embark on some general life chit chat, but as we were both slightly sleep deprived, it encompasses an even wider ranging and more random selection of topics than usual. We discuss (among many other things) sea shanties and whether smugglers have TikTok accounts, the possibilty of rabbits appearing from unmentionable places, and why the Youth of Today can't start fires. Also, Gill has a minor rant about her time as a Cub leader, Jo reveals the latest update on the situation with her pants, and we debate the merits of whisky versus cough mixture.

This week we are talking about Trying New Things. Not new sex positions, as our careful podcast research has revealed there are only about three of those, and all the other sex tips involve marbles or putting weird stuff in the fridge, but actual new life experiences. Unfortunately our attempts at exploring these exciting ideas led to Jo crying in a field again, Gill once more declaring the National Trust to be Dead To Her, and us both revealing a rather unhealthy obsession with our own mortality. We cover some parenting fails, and why Jo is on some sort of RSPCA watch list, Gill offers to burn down a ventriloquist museum, and we come up with a splendid idea for a ghost hunting convention with us for six of our listeners in Hampton Court Palace, if neither of us get arrested after this episode...

If romance is somewhat lacking in your life for whatever reason, and you are not looking forward to Valentine's Day rapidly approaching next week, this is the episode for you, as we attempt to talk about romance, but fail miserably as we find much more interesting things to discuss, like the time Jo forgot to swallow, hot cross buns, why Gill doesn't hold with boats, and if it's weird for your dad to give you a Valentine. We do veer slightly onto romance a few times, but Gill accuses Big Champagne of just tricking us into doing The Sex, and we decide the huge pressure that comes with Valentine's Day romance isn't really worth it. We also have a lovely chat about punting (not a euphemism), Isaac Newton's cats, and why Jo can't swim, before we plan our perfect romantic outing together, in which no men feature at all, just us and our pets.

Today, we are playing Agony Aunts, and channelling our inner Claire Rayners to advise on a wide range of issues from the positive side of office flirtations to career advice about why it's a bad idea to seduce the bride if you are working in a wedding dress shop. We also debate the hygeine aspect of photocopiers and if it counts as sex in the workplace if you work from home? And we discuss the tricky area of negotiating a tactful discussion with your mother in law, and why women dress more for other women than for men (mainly because most men have no soul or sense of style).

This week our topic is dating- more specifically, online dating in your forties and fifties, and the pitfalls and perils therein. Thanks so much to everyone who sent in their dating experiences, which led to us trying to answer a question that has perplexed women since the dawn of time, i.e- what is actually wrong with men? Jo attempts to explain why she would be seduced by a magician, and Gill describes her worst date ever, after Jo introduces her to the horrors lurking in the depths of the Tinder bios.

We must also confess we have got slightly out of sync, and this episode was supposed to come before the nineties special, because Gill got super-excited about the boy chat and the alcopops and uploaded it first, which definitely had nothing to do with the Malibu...

Today we are time travelling back to the nineties with an extra long special episode, sampling a wide array of cheap alcopops, reminiscing about the effects they used to have on us, and talking about the most important question of the day back in our youth- how to tell if he fancies you...then we just got carried away on the alcopops and started chatting about boys, crushes, and what it really means when a man tells you he's 'thinking about you'...

This week, we are firmly against Dry January, we discuss the ethics of shaving vegans, and we talk about super important topics like making sure you give yourself little treats to make January less, bleak, teaching your children to make cocktails and taking full advantage of the Ikea creche. We also explore slow living via the medium of Tesco garage cocktail tins and Gill causes some trauma with the revelations from her most recent foray to the Urban Dictionary...