It's Five O'Clock Somewhere

Join us this week as we explore what is new and exciting for 2023, and by new and exciting, we mean some bizarre sex tips involving glass dildos and remote controls, and some interesting home hacks, including how to wreck your bra beyond all repair, and convince your friends you have lost the plot with cutlery clocks. We also get side tracked by some heated discussion about 80s children's TV shows!

Welcome to 2023! It's a New Year, and a New Us! Well, sort of. We are FULL of good intentions to become better people, but given that we are discussing the time Gill drank the boozy syrup out the bottom of the bowl from soaking the fruit for her Christmas cake, and Jo admits to the time her profiteroles went wrong, so she just ate the cream and chocolate, and we spend some time speculating on the best venues to murder people in, Becoming Better People is unlikely to happen any time soon. We are also talking resolutions, and whether they are a good thing or a bad thing...

The eternal question we are asked on a loop from about August- are you ready for Christmas? It seems to be a resounding 'NO' for Jo and Gill, if that makes you feel any better!

Join us today as we answer all your Christmas Conundrums with our Ultimate Gift Guide for the most difficult people in your life to get presents for. From the Man Who Has Everything, to the InLaw That Hates Everything, we've got suggestions ranging from helpful to downright passive agressive (but the beauty of pass-agg gifting, is that at least you're pleased with what you got them, am I right?).

In the first of our Menopause specials, we are talking about HRT, and our own personal journeys that led us to starting it, the differences it has made to our lives, and suggestions about when you too might consider HRT, and how to approach it. However, because we are menopausal and forgetful and easily distracted, we also talk about Gill's hangover, and how she nearly drowned in the bath, and Jo's fear of tequila after the Incident in Brighton, and us both disrobing at inappropriate moments to show off our patches...

This week, Gill is finally letting Jo get festive, and we're talking all things Christmas! Gill relates an unfortunate experience with a well oiled and rather frisky Father Christmas, and Jo reveals that she is taking her dog to see Santa Paws! We discover that Christmas sex tips are rather thin on the ground, but discuss innovative uses for turkey grease, and we attempt to solve a listener's problem with keeping both sets of grandparents happy over Christmas. We also have a fantastic competition to add some extra sparkle to your festivities by winning £100 of Marks and Spencers vouchers!

Today we're chatting about Jo's totally plausible reason for keeping gin in her bedside table, which had nothing to do with her forgetting to go on a date, and the weird and wonderful world of Tinder. Unfortunately this leads to speculation about what exactly a 'semi scripted adult film' might involve and for no apparent reason, Gill feels the need to reveal the sordid tale behind why she can never visit the Bodleian Library (it's NOTHING to do with rude films!). We also have a serious problem, as we talk about how to help your children cope with bullying, and how you as a parent cope with your child being bullied, in response to a listener's question.

• This week we're talking sex myths- the weirdest, the scariest, the just plain disturbing, and the 'how did someone even think that was possible'. Gill reveals her in depth knowledge of Jackie Collins and nineties TV, and judges Jo for never having watched Press Gang. Jo is possibly traumatised for life by some of the revelations in this episode, and may never eat sweetcorn again, AND we reveal the results of the Great How Do You Put Your Bra On? Survey (you might be surprised)!

Join Gill and Jo as they talk travel worries, including whether it is better to book travel when you're drunk or sober and how many extra emergency pants are too many. We also chat about accidently propositioning the man who holds the 'cheap Apple repairs this way' sign outside the Apple Store, being sniffed by a kennel man, and some mindboggling bedroom tips that demonstrate the difference in effort men and women are expected to put into being 'sexy'. There is also an 'unusual' problem, regarding a new and interesting use for your phone, that leaves Jo lost for words…

This week, we discover the real reason Jo cried in a field of dung, a new, if pointless, use for marbles is discussed, Gill accidently suggests a National Treasure partakes in unspeakable practices and we chat about Gill's upcoming wedding to the Ginger Sex God, Rick Astley (shhh, he doesn't know about this, and neither does Gill's current husband).