Brigid and Kellie call an audible to our new favorite topic of conversation: sports astrology. This week, we unpack our tier-based system for ranking NFL quarterbacks and what the zodiac tells us about their personalities (full details below). We also bring you more of the hot takes you’ve grown to know and tolerate, including some brief Shondaland coverage (03:00-07:00), our concerns about some recent Dak Prescott comparisons (20:10), and a theory that Jerryworld is real-life Arrested Development (52:25). NFL QUARTERBACK TIERS: Tier One: People You’d Actually Want to Hang Out With Tier Two: Boring, but Inoffensive Tier Three: Overexposed, but Occasionally Likable Tier Four: Pitiable (injured/bad at football but good at life/good at football but stuck on a bad team) Tier Five: Garbage People who are Garbage Players Tier Six: Actual Sociopathic Monsters NOTABLE QUARTERBACK ZODIAC SIGNS: Aries: Derek Carr, Cody Kessler, Peyton Manning Taurus: Blake Bortles, Jay Cutler, Cam Newton, Tony Romo, Matt Ryan, Alex Smith Gemini: N/A (lol) Cancer: N/A Leo: Tom Brady, Kirk Cousins, Dak Prescott, Ryan Tannehill, Tyrod Taylor, Tim Tebow, Charlie Whitehurst Virgo: Andrew Luck Libra: Brett Favre, Blaine Gabbert, Kevin Hogan (quarterback; not related to Brigid), Brian Hoyer, Geno Smith Scorpio: Troy Aikman, Sam Bradford, Teddy Bridgewater, Andy Dalton, Kevin Hogan (not a quarterback; related to Brigid), Colin Kaepernick, Marcus Mariota Sagittarius: Ryan Fitzpatrick, Johnny Manziel, Brock Osweiler, Philip Rivers, Aaron Rodgers, Russell Wilson Capricorn: Drew Brees, Joe Flacco, Eli Manning, Carson Palmer, Trevor Siemian, Carson Wentz, Jameis Winston Aquarius: RGIII, Case Keenum, Matt Stafford Pisces: Ben Roethlisberger

On our first ever guest pod, Brigid and Kellie talk with geographic DC insider Emma Roller about some of our favorite conspiracy theory-related content, including the one and only Alex Jones (2:30), pop culture representations of conspiracy theories (9:00), the limits of conspiracy credibility (21:00), and questionable government-funded research (25:00). Get in touch with us at @ItsHandledPod and by rating/reviewing us on iTunes -- we’d love to hear about your personal conspiracy theories.

In honor of of the pod’s return from summer hiatus and Shondaland’s upcoming Romeo and Juliet adaptation, Brigid and Kellie rank the Shakespeare plays they’d rather see Shonda take on, discuss one of the NFL’s greatest mysteries (37:20), and bring some pre-Cursed Child JK Rowling hot takes (40:00). Share your Shakespeare adaptation opinions and sports conspiracy theories with us at @ItsHandledPod and by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

After a brief hiatus, Brigid and Kellie finally get around to covering Shondaland’s spring finales, including a Scandal election setup that won’t pay off until 2017 (0:55), the conclusion of an excellent first season of The Catch (22:00), and yet another enraging installment of Grey’s Anatomy (34:45). We also bring you a taxonomy of Midwestern weirdness (30:00), more HR speculation (46:45), and some important Matt McGorry wokeness news (51:25), because we are nothing if not on brand. Share your finale reactions with us at @ItsHandledPod and by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie are still out on this season of Grey’s Anatomy (1:15), but still very much in on the stylized fun of The Catch (11:40), the Scandal election that is somehow less alarming than our real one (24:30), and the Matt McGorry Wokeness Watch (55:00). We also have some lengthy tangents about Game of Thrones theories (15:45) and the joys of traveling by plane and bus (38:15). We’d love to hear your hot woke takes, book recommendations, and conspiracy theories -- get in touch with us at @ItsHandledPod and by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie cover their continued disappointment with Grey’s (1:45), their consistent enjoyment of Scandal (3:30), and The Catch’s rise to weekly fave status (26:00). We also manage to ensure this podcast will never be sponsored by the Marco Island tourism board (7:10), and we turn this week’s installment of the Matt McGorry Wokeness Watch (45:00) into a Shea Serrano and Lin-Manuel Miranda lovefest. We’d love to hear your hot woke takes, book recommendations, and conspiracy theories -- get in touch with us at @ItsHandledPod and by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie discuss a record-breaking week for the child tally on Grey’s Anatomy (0:50), the return of bonkers, paleo-hating Scandal (31:00), and why the pure fun of The Catch is a welcome break from the dark TV drama era (54:15). Other highlights include Great Depression-era toys and candy (30:00) and another exhausting installment of the Matt McGorry Wokeness Watch (1:05:20). We’d love to hear your hot woke takes, book recommendations, and conspiracy theories -- get in touch with us at @ItsHandledPod and by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie try to cope with a Scandal-less week with some big developments in the Matt McGorry Wokeness Watch (0:20), an episode of The Catch that finally lives up to its potential (11:00), and some serious concerns about the HR department at Grey Sloan Memorial (18:30). We also discuss US political dynasties (5:20), the 1990s wilderness media trend (44:00), and a groundbreaking theory from Brigid (48:00). We’d love to hear your listener questions, comments, and future episode suggestions - get in touch with us at @ItsHandledPod and by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie air some grievances about The Catch (2:00), lament the direction Grey’s Anatomy’s April/Jackson storyline has taken (20:30), and stake out positions within the pro-Bonkers Scandal camp (46:00). Added bonuses include some highbrow book recommendations to offset your garbage TV habits (42:30), further developments in the Matt McGorry Wokeness Watch (1:08:00), and a wealth of dog thoughts (1:19:00). We’d love to hear your listener questions, comments, and future episode suggestions - get in touch with us at @ItsHandledPod and by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie try to solve the mystery of Meredith Grey’s missing agency (1:00), propose a campaign to #BringBackOurLeo to Scandal (17:30), and identify areas for improvement on The Catch (39:00). We also bring you a flaming hot take about the relationship between 30 Rock and Mad Men (34:30), the second glorious installment of the Matt McGorry Wokeness Watch (49:30), and an unpacking of those problematic Shondaland Hillary campaign ads (52:30). We’d love to hear your listener questions, comments, and future episode suggestions - get in touch with us at @ItsHandledPod and by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.