Brigid and Kellie revisit the stupidest parts of a supremely stupid year by discussing the greatest scams of 2017. We reveal that the thing about Mad Online culture is we don’t understand it (12:20 - 15:15), take you on a wild journey through online resale apps (43:55 - 49:00), and share some excellent stories about children repeating profanity (51:45 - 54:40). Vent to us about your favorite scams on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod or by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie draft starting fives for their Libra All-Star teams, and the results are… something. We discuss reality television, as always (9:45 -13:30), our very particular celebrity dislikes (23:20 - 24:50 and 31:20 - 34:55), and Bruce Springsteen, of course (36:05 - 38:10). Tell us which celebrities you irrationally hate on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod or by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie speculate about what a Pop/Kerr 2020 ticket would look like in practice. We divulge our NBA allegiances (1:30 - 3:20), discuss how Popovich presidency and Kerr vice presidency would provide a welcome contrast to our current reality (3:20 - 6:00), and recommend potential Cabinet and staff picks for their administration (6:00 - 38:15). If you have an actual concept of the responsibilities of various cabinet positions, please let us know on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod or by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie bring you a double-header of belated Leo and Virgo season takes. We have job (2:10 - 17:40), hair (17:40 - 27:40), and dating (29:20 - 31:15) recommendations for Leos, and we expose some often-overlooked Virgo traits (31:25 - 48:20). We also get you up to speed on the latest developments in the Real Housewives universe (48:20 - 54:30) and the Tom Coughlin universe (54:30 - 1:11:15). To address any iconic Leo hair we may have neglected or to share a photo of your own iconic Leo hair, talk to us on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod and rate/review us on iTunes.

Knee deep into Leo season, Brigid and Kellie present a universal taxonomy of Cancer personalities. Highlights include an aesthetic analysis of George W. Bush’s paintings (13:25 - 14:35), even more NFL conspiracy theories (34:15 - 36:00), and our Coughlin Headlines of the Week (01:05:20 - 01:11:20). To yell at us for our lateness, talk to us on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod and rate/review us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie break down which sporting events represent the spirit of each of the zodiac signs. We also discuss Jerry Jones’s date with the Pope (1:20 - 4:45), our favorite Mary Carillo Olympics reporting segments (47:00 - 50:00), and our Coughlin Headlines of the Week (53:15 - 58:45). To dispute our signs-as-sporting events takes, talk to us on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod and rate/review us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie return to their podcasting roots with emergency coverage of Still Star-Crossed, Shondaland’s newest television property. We give a rundown of the many, many things we disliked about the pilot episode (up to 20:10), reminisce about our weird high school experiences (20:10 - 28:00), and recommend shows to watch instead of this one (30:25 - 37:20). To hear our other Shakespeare adaptation hot takes, jump back to Episode 14. To share your own Shakespeare adaptation hot takes, get at us on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod and rate/review us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie get their Taurus season deep dive in just under the wire with a review of Taurus traits (2:55 - 6:45) and strong Taurus moves, including playing the same character all the time (6:45 - 19:00), the Streisand effect (27:05 - 29:00), mass murder (33:15 - 36:50), and committing to a very specific aesthetic (50:55 - 1:00:30). We also discuss Brigid’s middle school jams (29:50 - 31:45) and the gaps in Kellie’s pop culture knowledge (1:00:30 - 1:05:00), and introduce some exciting new segments (1:10:55 - 1:20:30). Want to share your personal theory about why so many of history’s greatest monsters are Tauruses? Tell us on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod or by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

In part two of our 2017 NFL astrological compatibility mock draft, Brigid and Kellie, two people who almost never watch college football, discuss the last sixteen picks of the first round, which includes many teams we dislike. We also get overwhelmed (again) by the number of Capricorn quarterbacks in the NFL (4:30 - 8:20), Ben McAdoo’s sartorial choices (15:40 - 17:30), liking Tony Romo (28:00 - 30:10 and 43:00 - 43:15), and how weird the state of Wisconsin is (56:30 - 1:02:05). Roast us for how bad our draft takes turn out to be on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod or by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.

Brigid and Kellie, two people who almost never watch college football, bring you a 2017 NFL mock draft based purely on astrological compatibility. This episode covers the first sixteen picks of the first round, one-eighth of which belong to the Cleveland Browns (03:55 - 07:30 and 42:30 - 44:45). We also bid a fond farewell to the Jay Cutler Quarterback Experience (09:50 - 12:55), try to understand the current leadership structure of the Jacksonville Jaguars (16:30 - 19:10), and guess which zodiac signs are best suited to which football positions (56:20 - 57:40). Roast us for how bad our draft takes turn out to be on Twitter at @ItsHandledPod or by rating/reviewing us on iTunes.