Former Clemson running back Javis Austin recounts the incredible story of his decision to take his own life in the midst of conflicts with coaches and deepening depression. After shooting himself in the head with a .38 caliber pistol in November of 1999, he stood up from his bed and asked himself: "Why am I not dead?" In the two decades since his miraculous survival, he has worked to educate and help others who struggle with mental-health issues.