Esquire writer Jeff Gordinier has returned to living in Los Angeles after decades of being a New Yorker to share endless happy dining thoughts on Jordan's favorite bite, a beautiful Apple Pan vs. Pie 'N Burger take, "the bloated rock operas of the culinary realm," a plague of under-seasoning, Addison love, eating pain, the perfect LA bang bang, learning about a restaurant through hospitality, this year's best new restaurant scouting, San Diego's present, New York's past, having too many children, no "bounty" talk, egg goo, 1999 movies, how to be a better man, and who's more optimized: Jordan or Max?