Mary calls umami the "sixth sense" and Billy gets irrationally angry; guest Rachel provides a lot of tedious information about the Harry Potter series.

Mary discusses the dangers of imagination in the Wizarding World; Billy doubts that owls are faster than the internet; guest Abby leads (and misleads) a long attempt to discover Voldemort's middle name.

Billy tells Mary he wants to see her throw up; Mary is horrified by Billy's hideous description of "thestrals;" guest Madison describes intentionally peeing her pants during the Deathly Hallows Part 2.

Billy flexes his knowledge of such hip terms as "tea" and "stan;" Mary discusses vaping in the Wizarding World; guest Marae extols the coolness of the character Sirius Black.

Mary and Billy discuss churches' relationship with the Harry Potter series; guest Jo declares her hatred for Ron Weasley.

Mary spoils the Phil of the Future finale; Billy does his impression of a barfing cat; guest Amanda is continuously baffled.

Billy and Mary say the C-word; guest Kristina asks about the creatures of the Wizarding World.

Billy and Mary ask: "Do the candy know?" Guest Hannah discusses a Harry Potter class she has taken.

Billy refuses to accept a friendship between a professor and a hat; Mary reveals details of the origin story of her menstruation; guest Meredith proclaims her attraction to Young Ol' What's His Name

Mary and Billy establish the boundaries of their Harry Potter knowledge; guest Hannah introduces some unheard-of character names.