“The Whisp Turlington Show” welcomes Joe Walsh — no relation — and Whisp Turlington and Geoff “The Angry Man” Garlock immediately lose control of the interview, the studio, and most municipal oversight in Val Verde.

What should be a routine guest segment detonates into a full civic event as Joe Walsh (No Relation) outlines the Val Verde Rock & Roll 5K, 10K, Half Marathon, Ultra Marathon, and a race philosophy built on early mornings, public bragging, and mechanical bulls used as motivational tools.

Meanwhile:

• Art Spart returns from a prolonged traffic hiatus

• Jimmy One Meal releases a posthumous song called “Shark Sex” and no one asks permission

• Jason Gore reigns supreme at 98.6 The Squirt and declares himself the greatest DJ alive

• Bloody nipples, nip guards, and weaponized areolas dominate the discourse

• Threads is exposed as a scolding platform and Bluesky as a joke museum

• A 90s lyrics game confirms that memory is fake and lyrics never mattered

Guest Starring: Dru Johnston as Joe Walsh (No Relation)

Check out Dru's Substack at https://ivegottheruns.substack.com

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