We need to get a grip. Big time.

I’m talking about all the huffing and puffing that’s going on about the Prime Minister going to China with two planes. Just in case one of them breaks down. America has Air Force 1. We have NZ 2.

All the old-guard have been up-in-arms about it. The first thing they’ve been banging on about is Chris Hipkins taking two planes when the Government’s been telling us we’re in a climate crisis and how we need to reduce emissions.

Although, let’s be honest, people who aren’t big on the whole climate change thing always get very excited when they think they’ve got a whiff of eco-hypocrisy.

And I will happily acknowledge that it does look a bit rich for Chris Hipkins to be pinging people who want to drive gas guzzling utes, and then turn around and take two planes to China because the 757 has had it.

You can always rely on the ACT Party to sum things up in a pithy way. And Seymour’s crew hasn’t disappointed with this plane thing - pointing out that what the PM has done is the equivalent of someone driving a Ford Ranger the length of New Zealand more than 600 times.      

The next thing the old-guard has been banging on about is how embarrassing it is having a Prime Minister flying around the world with two planes because we can’t rely on one of them not breaking down.

And this is where I think we really need to get a grip.

News Alert: whether we like to think it or not, we are a tinpot country. But, somehow, we have kidded ourselves that we’re otherwise and we've kidded ourselves that our politicians should be flying around as if they’re British royalty. They are not.

Unlike all the other people with red faces over this, I’m not in the least bit embarrassed by it all.

Yes, taking two planes is not eco-friendly. But the PM being stranded somewhere with just one plane would probably be more embarrassing. If you want to get embarrassed.

The thing is, do you really think anyone else cares about this as much as some people here in New Zealand do?

Of course not. They know New Zealand’s a tiny country in the South Pacific. No one will be batting an eyelid.

They won’t be batting an eyelid about Chippy’s two planes and they wouldn’t bat an eyelid if one of them or both of them broke down. It’s happened before. Jacinda Ardern was stranded in Australia one time when the plane broke down.

And was her global glory diminished by that? Did Stephen Colbert over in the US give her the cold shoulder and not want her on his TV chat show anymore because her plane broke down?

Was Prince William put off having her involved in his environmental campaign because she flew around in an old clanger that broke down when she was Prime Minister? Of course not!

Were we kicked out of the Commonwealth? Did global leaders around the world turn their backs on us because of our crappy planes?

See what I mean? That’s why we have to get over ourselves with this plane business.

Yes, the 757 has had its day. Yes, it doesn’t make sense to continue taking two planes because we can’t rely on one getting the PM and his entourage there and back again.

But it also doesn’t make sense to continue with this pipedream that the Prime Minister of New Zealand needs our decrepit Air Force to get them places, and can’t possibly use commercial flights.

It’s a pipedream from the 1950s. And we need to wake up from the pipedream and accept that, compared to the rest of the world, we’re a tinpot country that needs to live within its means.

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