Ch. 13: "My Marriage Was Also Named Abort." Novelized by Jeb Lund, narrated by Josh Johnson.

Ch. 14: "The Rogue, the Coif, and the Partial Can of Diet Soda in an Empty Blended Scotch Bottle." Novelized by Chris Messick, narrated by Jon Wurster.

Interview: Lisa Gilroy.

Josh Johnson is a stand-up comedian and former writer and performer for The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. He has released two comedy specials on Comedy Central and Peacock, and his other credits include CONAN, @Midnight, and Kevin Hart's Hart of the City.

Jeb Lund is a former reporter for Rolling Stone, The Guardian, and Gawker, and he has contributed to Esquire, GQ, and The New Republic, among many other publications.

Jon Wurster is the former drummer for American rock band Superchunk and a comedy writer known for his appearances on The Best Show with Tom Scharpling.

Chris Messick is a writer and musician.

Lisa Gilroy is a writer and improviser known for her viral online videos and her appearances on Comedy Bang! Bang!

The Novelizers was created by Stephen Levinson, produced by Stephen, Chris Karwowski, Rob Kutner, and Suchetas Bokil. Editing, mixing, and mastering by Chris. Improv booking by Christine Bullen. Music by Cole Emoff. Art direction by Crystal Dennis with illustrations by Barry Crain. Intro narration by Robin Reed. Interviews by Kevin Carter. Special thanks to Luke Dennis and Peter Hayes at WYSO Public Radio in Yellow Springs, Ohio.

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The Novelizers is a work of parody, unauthorized by 20th Century Studios, The Walt Disney Company, or Independence Day.

© 2023 The Novelizers and respective authors.