Journey to Grateful

As I glance at the calendar, I realize it’s that time of year again—though somehow, it seems to have arrived more quietly this time. With grief, it usually announces itself well in advance, looming heavily overhead and filling the air with a sense of oppressive anticipation. I’ve walked this path four times now, starting at the end of 2020. I wouldn’t say it gets easier or harder, but it does become different.

Does it still loom? Yes, in its own way. Is it as oppressive? Not like that first year. This is holiday grief, and sadly, it’s something everyone will face at some point in their lives. There’s no clear guidebook for navigating it, no perfect way to manage the milestones it brings.

In this episode, I’ll share my experiences and some suggestions others have shared with me about how to walk through moments like these. At the very least, I hope to offer some insight into what you might expect as you face your own holiday grief.

You might have seen the title of this episode and wondered how the idea of pivoting connects to grief. Today, we’re exploring what it means to pivot—not just in life, work, or relationships, but specifically in how we navigate grief.

Grief can sometimes make us complacent—too comfortable with the routines we’ve established to cope. We might find ourselves stagnant, unwilling to take steps forward to face our loss in healthier ways. That’s when a pivot can make all the difference. Adjusting how we approach, manage, or confront our grief can help us move out of that rut and open up a new perspective—a path toward healing.

Have you ever just not felt like trying? Like trying to be "on" all the time or not wanting to go out and be around people? To be the person they expect you to be? That feeling might come after a hard day or a tough week for most people. But for those of you walking the difficult path of grief—whether it's a fresh journey or a long-worn road—I’m sure this hits close to home.

Today, I want to talk about what it's like to keep "trying" while grieving and how it can feel like you're constantly falling short. I also want to share a few simple things you can do when you feel like you just can’t anymore. The title gives away one of the most effective strategies, and I'll explain why it's so crucial for us to start thinking about it right now.

The way you see things can either fill your life with hope or leave you feeling hopeless—I really believe that. When we choose to dwell in our sorrow, pain, or anger, it’s no surprise that the reflection we see in the mirror looks defeated, with no smile and no hope for the future. Now, I’m not saying we shouldn’t feel those emotions—definitely feel them and let them wash over you. But don’t let them define who you are or drain all the color from your life, leaving only gray. Let’s take some time to dive deeper and explore how we can use the power of color to help lift ourselves up through grief.

In this episode, we're diving into a topic that evolves with time and experience: "Lessons Taught Through Grief." This idea varies for everyone and is shaped by each person's unique story, past experiences with loss, and where they are in life. I think it's essential for all of us to reflect on this occasionally, as it can be both therapeutic and eye-opening. It helps us understand where we are on our grief journey and how much we appreciate life, death, and our ability to move forward. Sharing these lessons with others can offer valuable guidance for their experience with grief, helping them understand what to expect and how to cope. So, join me as I share my story and the insights I've gathered from friends and family about what grief has taught them.

We've all heard the phrase "New Normal" more times than we can count, especially since the pandemic hit. When the whole country went into lockdown in March 2020, we were suddenly living in a world none of us had ever experienced. As things slowly reopened, "New Normal" became the go-to way to explain changes that had quickly become routine, even though they hadn't always been that way. But in truth, this concept of a "New Normal" has been part of many lives long before the pandemic, particularly for those grieving a loved one. For them, it's not just a trendy term or a casual social media post—it's a tough reality. As someone living through it, I can tell you it's far from easy. We can't just hit pause on it when it's inconvenient. So, if you're struggling with your own "New Normal," let's talk about how we can navigate it together.

In this episode, we’ll explore Ten Common Myths of Grief. While these myths are a helpful reminder no matter how long ago your loss occurred, they’re especially relevant for anyone in the early weeks or months of grief. However, even those who may be years into their loss may find it valuable to reflect on how far they've come and encourage the path they've established in navigating grief. It's important to remember that we’re not as alone as we may feel in this journey, even if the loss was long ago. This episode will highlight myths to be aware of and offer ways to cope with grief or support others in their grief journey.

Sometimes, inspiration unfolds gradually over time, while other times it hits you instantly from the moment it arrives. Today's episode is the latter—it was sparked by, of all things, a Facebook post that popped up on my feed a few weeks ago. The post was a heartfelt "Happy Birthday" message to a lost loved one, written by a friend. The story itself is simple yet precious, but it's the message behind it—the title of this episode—that I really want to share with you today. It's a profound statement we should all consider embracing in our everyday lives, whether or not we're dealing with grief. But I'll admit, it will resonate even more deeply if you are. It's a powerful reminder to appreciate the important details in our lives that we often overlook so easily.

Throughout these episodes, I often mention that you never know where inspiration will come from when navigating grief. In this podcast, I've shown how to take a simple gesture or a joint event and translate it into inspiration or a lesson on grief, life, and, hopefully, living. But sometimes, you must actively seek inspiration, fresh viewpoints, or unique perspectives on how best to deal with grief. That's precisely what I've done for this episode. I've discovered a process I hadn't encountered before, and I believe its simplicity and common sense might be the inspiration you've been looking to add to your grief journey.

Perspective is an interesting part of the puzzle we try to piece together when we first lose a loved one and find ourselves alone at the table with grief. It becomes a living, breathing entity that changes as you navigate your grief. In the first days and weeks, perspective seems almost nonexistent. But as the weeks turn into months, it shifts, becoming a symbol of strength and an unexpected source of calm as you start to see details in your life that you once took for granted. Perspective becomes a friend, reminding you of the value of appreciation and gratitude. Join me as I revisit past episodes that explore perspective and the shift it brings after loss.