Well...That's Awkward.

Having those difficult conversations help take care of you, your finances and your friendships!

We teach people how to treat us whether it is in how we run our business, choose our relationships or maintain our boundaries.

There are choices in how we choose to react to other people’s comments and opinions.

A surefire tip on how not to take things personally.

Leave toxic relationships. Don’t try to change them. It won’t work. Period.

What is the one question that shuts down “scope creep”? How would you like to pay for that?

Have you ever considered using a an autoresponder email as a response to all of your emails instead of just using it when you are on vacation?

There are things in relationships that you have to discuss and if you don't discuss them you are opening up yourself to things happen like resentments and expectations which lead to you getting disappointed.

Traci teaches Russ the appropriate way to apologize. HINT: If you use the word ‘but’ after the “I’m Sorry” it negates the apology.

Takeaways:

Have the awkward conversation.

Don’t start a project without having the full scope of it.

Even if it is a small change to the scope. Charge the client so you set the precedent at the beginning of the relationship.

If you set specific office hours. Stick to them or other people will not respect them.

Resources:

Vladimir Writes

http://www.vladimirwrites.com/5-client-rules-need-set-starting-new-freelance-project/

Sarah Silverman

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2018/01/08/a-man-trolled-sarah-silverman-on-twitter-she-ended-up-helping-him-with-his-medical-problems/?utm_term=.6d4d018e7c2e

Melody Biringer

https://journeytothere.com/sidehustle-melody-biringer-episode-46/

Image Credit:

Photo by Jurica Koletić on Unsplash

QUOTES

Have the awkward conversation.

@TraciDeForge  #SayWhatYouMean

Respond with kindness. It is your choice.

@TraciDeForge      #KindWinsEverytime

#TeamElaine

@TraciDeForge           #GirlPower

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Traci opens up raw, unedited and solo about how her reflections on last year led her to realize how joy matters. YOUR joy matters. 

You'll hear true confessions, requests for accountability and how she plans to stay focused on her joy this year. 

: [00:00:23] I guess I've been doing a lot of thinking. It's that time of year of course with the whole New Year's kicking off a new year often means reflection and sometimes even big commitments to change. I am not a fan so much of the resolutions but I do find that it is a great time to just take a look at what I can celebrate as accomplishments for the past year and also where I could tweak here and there for improvement. But you know this can be a slippery slope for me I need to be mindful that it's not all about what I can do better but more about recognizing what I did do well and recognizing also some areas where I can open up for more learning more play for sure and most importantly more joy. I think the message that I hear resonating with me in these last end of the year last year and first two weeks of this year so far is that joy matters because really Joy does matter.

: [00:01:37] And this is an awareness which hasn't always come easy for me for several reasons.

: [00:01:41] I think the primary one is I'm almost always focused on thinking about how much YOUR joy matters and it does... it really, really does in fact as you know I've built my business around working with people to help them find sustain and maintain joy in their lives and in their work. But I've also compromised areas of my life in regrettable ways by putting joy of others before my own. Ok… but here's the thing. This was not an act of martyrdom. Oh no. It usually occurred because I was never 100 percent sure where the source of my happiness and fulfillment was actually originating. I would confuse my happiness with feeling successful and most definitely derived fulfillment from the accomplishment that drove the successes. Of course I've had things in my life I've enjoyed. I mean, don't get me wrong but I could never remember exactly what those things were when it came time to actually go out and really enjoy them. The times I did take, as we've talked about a lot on the show, to do something joyful or fun were often tainted by my mind being located somewhere other than where my body was at the moment. But never fear… because my hands were always adept at knowing exactly where my phone was. Russ has often taunted me that if he wants to see a full meltdown then all he needs to do is just have my phone and I guess (True Confessions) he's right.

: [00:03:25] I want to proclaim that most of these challenges are behind me and I feel truthful, sincere and authentic in saying that today as I have reflected on 2017 I recognized real progress. In the past, it was more about the struggle than appreciating the experiences and thank goodness this year was definitely more about the experiences than the struggle to appreciate them. For me this is something to celebrate. It began by finally being able to identify what I liked to do for play. I always talk about, “You have to have awareness before you can have change. In order to have sustainable change you have to have action.” I had to really begin by identifying what it is I even really liked to do, how I like to create and most definitely identify the people I want to play with in creative ways. This meant I needed to show up in personal relationships and the key to that is they needed to be relationships that were not founded on work. That's hard for me because I love my work so much and I love the people I work with and we end up spending so much time together that friendships evolve.

: [00:04:55] In life we need to have friends outside of our jobs and our business. I had to put down the phone to check the e-mail. Then I had to pick it up to reach out which is a little bit of an oxymoron. But if you think about it …you...

Technology addiction? Sugar habit? Trying to remove your own barriers to growth?

Identify the why and then you will know when the triggers happen so it is easier not to indulge.

Learn how to define the difference in will power and discipline.

Genetics vs Will Power. Hear the points and counterpoints of this age old debate.

Learn how to identify the triggers of the bad habits you are trying to change.

Discover one action to implement for successful big change for the long term.

Tips on a recruitment tool which will get your employees started out the right way. They key is that it ensures they avoid bad habits from beginning.

Gain insight on the value of community in effecting successful change

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In This Episode: 

Money is still the number one subject people don't talk about. It's the last topic in any relationship; whether it's with your husband, wives, significant other or even your friends and family, even your closest loved ones.

Get an education and learn tools so it makes that conversation more easy to have and so you feel more confident having it.

We're all human. We all have money. We all have to learn how to be with money. There's this misconception that if you're facing a money challenge or concern you're the only one going through it.

Financial planning is not an age specific situation. Even if you didn't do this planning from the start in your early 20s you can still rewrite your story.

There's a misconception that you only do financial planning when you have a certain amount of income or a certain amount of assets. It's not true.

Start to see your money as a relationship that you're going to have for the rest of your life. It takes a little pressure off and hopefully a lot of anxiety and stress off the table because you're just going to treat it like any relationship that  goes through ups and downs. You're constantly working on it. How do you improve it?  How do you make it better? We all need to remember it's not the destination it's the journey.

Takeaway:

Go on a weekly money date. Take time once a week to recap what’s coming in & what’s going out to stay on budget.

Hire somebody you like and trust that you feel can help you execute on your financial goals.

Get over yourself and ask for help if you need it.

QUOTES

It's your life. It's your money.  It's your responsibility.

@Brittneycastro  #CFPPro

Rewrite Your Money Story

@@Brittneycastro  ##CFPPro

What do you want to change next year in your financial story?

@@Brittneycastro  ##CFPPro

RESOURCES:

www.financiallywisewomen.com

Brittney’s Green Smoothie recipe

Kale

Spinach

Almond Milk

Vegan Protein Powder

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In This Episode: 

What do successful people have in common? What do they do differently? Do they know something we don’t?

Live your life unconditionally.

Build up your Emotional Fitness resilience.

Ruts occur when we lose our hunger. 

Change your thinking and you change your life

The road to failure and the road to success is the same path; Success is only further along the way.

You’re either moving forward or you’re moving backward. Either way you are moving so make choices to move forward.

Just take 10 minutes at the end of your day and at the beginning of your day to relish in creativity.

Possibility Thinking.

Often it’s our thinking—not reality—that keeps us stuck where we are. Dwelling in possibility can also be one of the most exciting ways to spend your time. Creative Thinking

Not all thinking needs to produce major results to better your life. Over time, creative thinking can make your days more experimental, fun—and a heck of a lot easier.

Reflective Thinking

Allow your past learning and experiences to fuel positive, forward momentum.

Shared Thinking

As the old saying goes, “Nothing changes if nothing changes”

Questioning Popular Thinking

As the old saying goes, “Nothing changes if nothing changes.”

Good thinkers are always in demand: They’re problem-solvers.

Give 100% to your 20%.

Susie Moore is the author of What if it DOES Work Out? How a Side Hustle can change your life and creator of the online program Side Hustle Made Simple. Formerly a Sales Director at a Fortune 500 company, she's a business coach to CEOs and founders and an advisor to tech startups in New York City and Silicon Valley. Susie has been featured on the Today show, Forbes, Business Insider, Marie Claire, Time, Inc, Family Circle and many more.

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Your email is "everyone else's to-do list for you." And if you allow your inbox to set the tone for your day, you're guaranteed to spend a huge chunk of your time on other people's priorities….All I was doing was other people's work all day long, and I never actually got to the things that I wanted to accomplish." - Ashton Kutcher

One recent Pew survey found 80 percent of Millennials sleep with their phones. No wonder then that another poll showed 40 percent of Americans of all ages check their phones within five minutes of waking. By the time they've brushed their teeth, more than 80 percent of people have grabbed their gadgets. And this isn't just the addled and unsuccessful -- another survey found that half of top executives start their day with email.

Psychologist Benjamin P. Hardy suggests a small amount of writing not only in the morning but also before bed, to tap into your subconscious in order to answer some of your life's trickiest and most pressing questions. "This simple routine will help you crystallize where you want to go, and how you will get there.

Many of us confuse being busy with being efficient.

The seduction of busy work. It makes you feel productive.

Takeaway:

Write everything out on your to do list and pick three to accomplish that day.

The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.

Stephen Covey

Ask yourself. Am I more comfortable staying the in the vision of this successful opportunity? Or am I scared the reality won’t happen?

Schedule time for the busy work. Adhere to it.

Resources:

https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/ashton-kutcher-uses-this-simple-morning-ritual-to-skyrocket-his-productivity.html?cid=sf01002&sr_share=facebook

https://www.fastcompany.com/40492781/this-is-what-happened-when-i-scheduled-time-to-procrastinate?partner=inc&cid=sf01002&sr_share=facebook

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Stephen_Covey

QUOTE

Doing everything is not an option.

@TraciDeForge  #sayno

 

The seduction of busy work. It makes you feel productive.

@TraciDeForge #beproductive

 

Schedule time for the busy work. Stick to it.

@TraciDeForge   #sticktoit

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The New media rules. There are no rules. And if you don't evolve with how things are changing you will get left behind.

Journey to There is throwing down a challenge! There should be a national authentic media day where all of the all of the anchors and all of the co-hosts all of the people on ABC NBC, Fox News and  CNN wake up in the morning, brush their teeth, get in their car go on camera raw and unedited. No Makeup- No Stylists. We dare you to do that!

We are all walking around with too many expectations of people to meet us where we were versus just respecting where they are.

Truth vs Training is so important to break down because whether you're getting ready to be on CNN, do a Facebook video or just walk into a room of peers at church or a movie theater or whatever. We all have a tendency to want to put on this mask of what we think other people feel like we should be like, act like,  walk like and talk like.

A revealing story on how Peter Shankman, founder of HARO (Help A Reporter Out) revealed a huge disappointment to social media and gained 10,000 new followers.

What is your truth vs your training when it comes to showing up for traditions?

How do you respond to those that have non traditional marriages, careers and/or  lifestyles? Are those reactions about them or based on a struggle going on inside of you?

Stand in your truth. Question Everything.

Click here to watch my highly (self- critiqued) interview with Ashley Sanders!

Takeaway:

Break the traditions that no longer work for you.

Be willing to inspire change

Really pay attention to the energy of the environment that you're in. If you're going through the motions of something and feel that as a physical experience...Allow yourself to pause in the moment and identify the fact that is your truth. You do not want to be there or in that experience. Remember that feeling for the next time so the next time it  happens you can  make a different decision.

When you're going into any type of situation or redundancy of a tradition or anything that is occurring where you can literally feel the “life being sucked out of you” or that energy drain or just feeling like tired and exhausted. Pay attention to what your circumstances are and your environment is around when that feeling occurs and make a conscious decision not to recreate that scenario again.

RESOURCES:

http://jengroover.com/

https://www.amazon.com/What-If-Why-Not-Transform/dp/1935251678/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

https://www.brainshark.com/ideas-blog/2014/March/ten-video-marketing-statistics-and-what-they-mean-to-you

QUOTE

The New media rules. There are no rules

Stand in your truth. Question Everything.

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Traci DeForge is interviewed live on the Motivational Monday podcast with Abigale Otchere. Abigale poses many question to Traci around, What is the why behind the work you do?

What you consider to be your zone of genius? Bring Strategy and Execution together. Integrating both Strategy and Execution into the work I do with my clients. According to a research published in Harvard Business Review, only 8% of consultants can create strategy and execute the deployment of the strategy.

What is the one thing you wish you knew then that you know now?

How to say No. No is  complete sentence. That it is ok to say no. That no can lead to yes in ways you never thought possible.

What is one of your darkest hours? Walk us through that story?

Traci shares the details of

What would you congratulate yourself for now? Really learning the benefit of putting things on the pause button. Putting a decision on hold until you get clear with your head, heart and gut.

Current passion projects you're working on? PODCASTING! It is clearly the next evolution of radio. I love the ability for podcasting to give you the opportunity to change the conversation.

How do you cultivate your champion mindset when you are faced with challenges? Trust the process. You are going to have detours and obstacles and most times these are put in your path lead to the place you need to going.

Hints and tips for harnessing more energy for busy executives and entrepreneurs?

You know your own truth. Allow yourself to practice your truth you can take advantage of the resources that are out there to help you make incremental steps for change.

Favorite personal development book? One Personal  The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron seeing change thru creative exercises. Creativity gives you solutions for strategy. The second The 7 habits of highly successful people  by Stephen Covey

Takeaway:

Be mindful of your energy getting depleted before you are on empty.

It is ok to say no. That no can lead to yes in ways you never thought possible.

You don’t have to wait to be great to start. But if you start you will be great.

When you learn to say no you know you have learned your boundaries.

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Meet our Guest Celinne Da Costa, Italian- Brazilian nomadic dreamer with infinitely more curiosity than time.

Traci wants to tell her 17 year old self to meet Celinne and travel the world. Celinne wants to introduce Traci and Celinne to her mom!!

Celinne pushes Russ Waaaaay outside of his comfort zone with stories from her teen years.

What is the difference between being responsible and the business badge of honor?

3 tips to become your own life architect starting today.

Traci DeForge Takeaway -

Redefine Responsibility. Your responsibility is to show up for yourself so you can show up for others.

Spend your time to find out what it is that you really want instead of checking off a list of things that aren’t even what we want to do.

Write down your fears and break them. Instead of saying I can’t afford ask yourself How can I do this?

Once you make the decision. Take action in incremental steps which open the possibilities for you so the opportunities come to you which enables you to stay on the journey you set out to be on.

Don’t get stuck in the fear. Start a conversation and watch the opportunities present themselves.

Show Quotes -

We are the architect and the world is the village helping you build your dream brick by brick.

Have a vision and hold to it.

Start a conversation and watch the opportunities present themselves.

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Live from Los Angeles, CA with Gina Delvac, producer of the podcast Call Your Girlfriend!

Gina and Traci discuss honoring the feminine way women do business and how Call Your Girlfriend started out as a fun podcast and turned into a “happy accident” yet successful small business.

How to prioritize valuing the financial piece of working with your girlfriends.

Gina shares how the “girlfriends” on the show settle conflict with their sound founding principle of not tearing anyone down.

Have you heard about the female founder who hired a fake male CEO while raising capital for their business?

Harvard Business school groups made up of friends prove to be the most unstable in founder turnover rates of nearly 30%.

Gina gives us the key to the success of the Call your Girlfriends partnership.

Traci DeForge Takeaway:

Own your strengths and seeking people that value that in you. That is the type of person you want to get into business

Be committed to the respect of the relationship is the core to the success of any friendship, marriage or business partnership

Flex your ego. Shout out what you’re good at!

Show Quotes:

I don't shine if you don't shine!

Extraordinary blazes new trails!

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