“Just expose yourself to more social situations!” — Ah yes, you felt anxious the first 100 times, but the 101st will be the breakthrough!

“But exposure works!” people yell from across the street. “Like for fear of snakes - you know, those things you see once a year!”

Uh, it's pretty rational to fear things you have little experience with. But social anxiety… you interact with people everyday! Why would anything change after the first 100 attempts?

I don’t doubt that a couple of exposures can often reduce anxieties. However, if you still feel anxious even after hundreds of social situations and years of trying... then maybe your fear is actually doing something presently useful and you should reconnect with your intuitions.

At a 100% eye contact workshop I led earlier this year, most people became comfortable quickly with essentially a guided meditation.

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