As the story goes, some Asian parents need you to get married now and be a doctor. So to that end, in this story, this parent created a fake online dating profile on behalf of her daughter to increase the odds of her finding a sensible suitor. This is what happens when tradition meets technology.

Janet and Brian get into talking about this story and how they can (or can't) relate to the situation that's going on here. This is the clash of traditional values, modern values, online dating, cultural differences, and more.

Join Janet and Brian in this episode as they have a few laughs about what they try and figure out what the heck is going on!

Reddit Topic Link:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianParentStories/comments/hx2usy/mom_made_fake_online_dating_profile_for_me/

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Janet and Brian talk about Negative though loops and how they've managed to navigate around the bulk of the traps laid down by their own beliefs. They share some general tips and get a bit more into detail in terms of how it has applied for them and how it's impacted their relationship with themselves and each other:

1. What causes negative thought loops specific to them
2. Different areas of focus for Asians and Asian-Americans
3. Their process for starting to stop negative thought loops
4. Methods they have used that have worked and when they work

Nothing wrong with have a bit of pride for achieving high standards in everything that you do. What happens if you don't achieve though? Many Asians and Asian-Americans experience negative thought loops on a regular basis, yet not taught how to address the problem aside from your typical "just think positively" type of dismissive commentary. Janet and Brian are talking about it in this episode, "vs Negative Thought Loops".

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Pyramid schemes are the worst! They totally manipulate people to take advantage of family and friends just to make a quick buck. In many instances, they don’t even sell anything aside from some grandiose idea of wealth and freedom. Sure there might be some legitimate MLM’s, but guess what these pyramid schemes call themselves? An MLM!

In this episode, Janet and Brian talk through a conflict between a married couple with the husband asking for help and advice. His wife is fully invested into an MLM selling some sort of protein shake, while he’s trying to talk her out of it. She gets pissed, takes the kids, and leaves the house… yikes.

Janet and Brian share some of their experiences with pyramid schemes trying to take advantage of them during their younger, more naive days. In the end, when a friend or family member tries to get you to buy into one of these scams, don’t go at them with a judgemental tone. They got caught up in the scam because these organizations prey on people who are vulnerable. Best to have some empathy in these situations.

Reddit Topic Link:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/htlts6/i_think_my_wife_is_about_to_choose_a_pyramid/

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We live in a material world. From getting the latest smartphones to getting your hands on a Tesla. The cookie-cutter “path to success” in your typical Asian life paradigm is to get a house. Inherently, wanting something here and there isn’t such a bad thing, but what if your life decisions are all driven by this idea that to prove that you are gettin’ it you need to have the checklist of stuff that defines whatever “success” means.

Having “valuable” stuff is often conflated with social status. What drives this idea that if you have the best things that you’re in some sort of position that’s better than everybody else? Janet and Brian have their theories on this as well as discussions about what could be driving this constant need to horde material goods. What is it about the environment that our parents and grandparents grew up in that results in what seems like an obsession to not only achieve, but to show it off to everybody?

Hear it in “vs Materialism”

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We've seen it on TV. Luckily Janet and Brian's parents didn't have the know-how to use tech to keep track of them, but nowadays, it's a very different story. Tracking your kids without their knowledge could make them feel like they're not trusted leading to all kinds of mixed feelings on the dynamic of the relationships in the house. Especially if the household is one with authoritarian rules.

In this "twenty-minute" episode, an 18-year-old discovers that his parents have been tracking him with a GPS hidden on his car. With privacy issues going hand-in-hand with technology, how is an 18-year old supposed to approach his parents, who may very well not even understand that there has been a breach of trust, that he's discovered that they have been tracking him? 

It's a difficult question to answer because it's not like you can just up and leave your house and family. Can you? Janet and Brian tell some hard truths about how they would handle and have handled leaving the nest in their own experiences.

Reddit Topic Link:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/hp4tgx/i_18m_just_found_out_my_parents_55f_56m_have_been/

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Self-awareness is definitely not first on the list for many Asian-Americans to master. Janet and Brian talk about some of the influences in Korean culture that may play into the reason why it is so difficult for many Asian Americans and immigrants to even introduce the idea of “self” into their lives. They also share a few questions that you could ask yourself to help you identify some of your thoughts on what may be influencing them. tune in to this week's episode “vs Self-Awareness”

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There is so much meaning attached to age in Korean society. You could argue that age is among the top factors influencing how you address another person. This week’s question is one between a relationship with an 18 year age gap. There is definitely going to be some fighting with stigmas in this one. Janet and Brian weigh in with their thoughts on what could potentially happen and how they would address this issue.

Reddit Topic Link:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/fepdoi/i_20m_have_fallen_in_love_with_a_much_older/

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We live in a society where hustling has become the answer to success and wealth. Work smarter, not harder, but also work hard. This is pretty much a modernized rebranding of the "work hard" attitude of the former generations, which did not operate under the same context of the accessibility to everyone that we have in the world today. This glorified idea has pushed many to disappointment, burnout, even depression. Janet and Brian share their experience with this idea of hustle culture and much of the downsides. Is it really a surprise that with all this hustling that Gen Z and Millennials are said to be the loneliest generations? I mean, Asians by general modern-day culture operate in this mindset. They likely know a thing or two about it.

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Janet and Brian get into talking about what it means to be American (or part of America). There’s so much that influences our Asian-American/immigrant identities around the social issues that have been ignited again in our society. It brings a lot of internal conflict on matters of patriotism all while seeing the challenges that we struggle with today as it’s directly related to issues of racism related to COVID-19, accessibility to healthcare, police brutality against protestors, etc. They share their perspectives on the pros and cons of citizenship in the US vs South Korea as well as their thoughts around how they identify in their nationality and some of the reasons behind it. Tune in to hear more!

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Good communication is a major influencer in the success of any relationship. What does this look like when there are obstacles like language and/or culture barriers that make it harder to do. Brian shares some of the changes he’s made in the way that he communicates with Janet as she confirms whether or not these changes even took place. She’s the judge in this episode. One thing’s for sure, they both made an effort to make this work in a way that works for them. Never perfect, but always progressing. Tune in to hear it from them!

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