David Waldman shakes out the KITM grab bag o' stories heading into the weekend.

It turns out that Donald K. Trump's State of the Union speech wasn't only a boring litany of lies but was filled with confessions of 2025 and plans for 2026 crimes. In that case, it was kind of amazing that he was able to fit so much into so little time. At that rate, Trump's Epstein testimony could still take days.

A judge blocked Trump from cutting off funding to 22 Dem states to coerce them into giving up food stamp data.

Netflix has backed out of its Warner Bros. bid, so CNN slides all the way to the dark side.

The military shot off its ray guns again, taking out a Customs and Border Protection drone. Soon, the CBP army will be unstoppable.

Kristi Noem is assembling a fleet of bidet-equipped, dildo-laden, flying boudoirs. U.S. Vice Admiral Fred Kacher has been removed from his position as director of the Joint Staff after only taking the post in December. Some just aren't cut out for the military life.

Idiot Nick Shirley makes money frightening idiots. Trump can rule the world with enough frightened idiots. A massive pro-Trump Twitter account is run by a paid White House staffer.

Zohran Mamdani goes back to the White House to play Trump and makes it all look so easy.

Kansas' trans bounty hunter bill was slipped through the legislature hidden in a gut and go shell.

A three-year-old company with fewer than five employees hopes to pick up $25 billion before the tariff gravy train runs off the rails.