David Waldman and Greg Dworkin share their latest Raft O' Stories in a valiant effort to calm us TF down.

World War Trump rages on… and TACOs… and rages and TACOs… You can pretty much set your watch by it. Donald K. Trump steadfastly maintains his principle of "What's in it for Trump?" but has yet to realize that retreat is his only path forward. Gerald R Ford heads for the exit.

Japan pulls up to the toll gate and is waved through.

Trump loses Oath Keepers founder Stewart Rhodes support and with him possibly the entire eyepatched villain voting bloc.

Speaking of retreat, Dems have Gops on their heels with DHS funding. Reconciliation worked for Republicans that time, so can't it work every time?

The Senate will be voting on cloture on a motion to suspend rule XXV to make in order a motion to refer the House message on the legislative vehicle for the SAVE America Act to the Rules and Administration Committee with instructions to consider legislation funding TSA, and if you think that's tough for you to understand, imagine how tough it is for Senator John Kennedy, who has enough to worry about with those commies at the Blooski.

It usually takes a while and a couple of deaths to get Trump's attention, and unfortunately that's what happened with the DHS and the TSA. Just as Elon Musk was about to pretend to go for his wallet, here comes ICE to the rescue!

Donald and Melania pal Paolo Zampolli wanted his and Jeffrey's ex, Amanda Ungaro deported, allegedly.

Trump breaking the economy and blowing billions on a war does not feel like a well thought out strategy heading into the midterms, but at least MAGA still loves him. That might not seem like enough to win an election, but who was talking about "win"?

Joe Kent quit because he'd rather crusade against Jews. Trump doesn't see much wrong with that but is offended that Kent has remarried. Other top-of-the-line professionals surrounding Trump include Richard Grenell, who had no arts administration experience prior to his Kennedy Center appointment and somehow now has even less. Dick should contact Gregg Phillips, head of FEMA's Office of Response and Recovery and teleport far away.