David Waldman drops us into the Weekend Chaos Chute™ before heading out and burning his socks, or whatever he plans to do.

Donald K. Trump finally got around to paying TSA agents, around the same time the Senate agreed to fund TSA and most of DHS, but not ICE, and to blow town for Easter. The Freedom Caucus wants privatization and de-unionization more than Peeps and will cling to their shutdown. None of this will slow the ICE fraud juggernaut.

Trump's Iran heist is not going as well. The US ROI has been lower than expected, with investment costs being subsidized by outside sources.

Trump is introducing Trump Bucks, which will be worth two for every 2027-dollar people will trade to get them out of their wallets.

Pete Hicseth personally removed two black and two female officers from being promoted to generals. This reduces the chance that Trump will have to stand next to one.

Greg Bovino won't end up kicking back in that private office he hoped for.

In Wisconsin, a guy proves that voter fraud is easy, and that going to jail for it is even easier. If Colorado governor Jared Polis caves and releases Tina Peters, his own party will probably impeach him.

Bill Pulte tries again to have Letitia James arrested for something. Elon Musk's lawsuit against advertisers who refuse to advertise with him has been dismissed... Let that sink in!

Meanwhile, Trump and the DOJ feed $1.2 million back into the corruption cycle, specifically to Michael (a spy) Flynn

Get out to the No Kings protests this weekend! There's one near you! You'll laugh! You'll cry! You will make new friends! You will go home singing the tunes!