Keep Me Young

A new bombshell has entered the villa! And he’s a banana with abs!

If you’re counting, this is, in fact, week THREE of discussing our favorite adult high school freshmen, the Mormon wives, but 4 seasons of the show simply wasn’t enough so we’re injecting their personal lives (IG reels) directly into our veins. It’s working! Blake shines a light on a corner of the internet that Heather never wants to visit: AI generated love island episodes on TikTok, but the people are all “sexy” fruit. There is LORE there is SCANDAL there is PETTINESS and, praise be to the internet gods, there is also an end in sight because Sora was abruptly shut down when Open AI got bullied hard enough. H*rry P*tter tv on HBO is aging us all and we are so tired of JK making money. Nobody watch it! Or at least use a pirated HBO account! We take a philosophical turn and ask: is Cards Against Humanity a game for unfunny people to feel funny? If you are an inherently funny person, should you take the game seriously or tone it down for the normies to feel good about themselves? 

Depression meals take us on a journey through adulthood, and this week’s Q&A makes Blake absolutely crash out. What is the lower limit to be considered an “elder queer” we ask you???? Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to [email protected] or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

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WILL MOMTOK SURVIVE THIS???Trust that if we could make an entire podcast just about our real life actual blood relatives, the Mormon wives, we WOULD. But for now, that content lives here. Blake and Heather are both aging rapidly because of the many scandals following those poor girls (adult women) on that show about filler and hair extensions. We’re staying young by trying new things and feeling literally and spiritually much younger than Hilary Duff. Blake will be forever young because of the far right’s response to…everything, but this week it’s how republican snowflakes are secondhand offended by Rama Duwaji’s tweet about all these f-slurs following her. In her defense, they were probably really loud and annoying!!!

Depression meals come with a LOT of context this week, and we are doing the lord’s work by telling the gay youths to stay single and get a hobby because crushes are sooooo much better when they’re queer and reciprocated. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to [email protected] or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A very happy Oscars week to all who celebrate! Do we actually celebrate? Do we actually know how to talk about film? Unclear! But we each know at least one person who has AMC Stubs memberships, so that’s something.This week Blake and Heather are staying young with supplements, first and foremost. But also by watching prestige television aka the best in the botoxed biz aka our favorite Mormon Wives. We get to keep our young gay cards by discussing Drag Race season 378 - I mean 18 and reminiscing about cringey drag queen sightings in the wild. Blake continues to spread the good news of his Lord and Savior Pokopia and finds real life virtual community through streaming. Heather learns more than they ever wanted to know about *checks notes* dueling peanut Vtubers?? And everyone debates the age old question: to suburbia or not to suburbia?We’ve got a depression meal submission from across the pond and a Q&A that elicits not one not two but THREE self help slogans. Does it make it better or worse to know that we genuinely believe them??

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to [email protected] or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to [email protected] or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is that actual hope on the horizon, or has it just stopped snowing? Who’s to say! Either way the world is on fire and we’re happy you’re watching it burn with us.Blake educates the children (Heather) on the latest K Pop drama and Heather educates the sheeple (Blake) on the *reads notes* Jim Carey conspiracy theories?? We’re both staying young because of our lord and savior Chris Fleming’s new stand up special and we know that if anyone can get this country back on track, it’s Trans Kansans, aka Transans. 

Blake and Heather mix in a little anxiety into their depression meals and answer the age old question: would you rather be dumb and happy or informed and sad? The answer might surprise you! Not clickbait!!

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to [email protected] or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

U-S-A! U-S-A! That’s how you spell Alysa Liu, right? We’re smitten with all of our gold medal woke 3.0 girlies this week and truly have never been such experts of ice related sports. And maybe never will be again! Everyone is staying young because of the hope injected in our veins in the form of winter olympic sports. And yet, we’re also aging because of 1. How they’re really NOT like us, fr and 2. How Republicans have made it about them yet again. Blake and Heather revisit some big theatre kid energy memories from opera camp, Heather FINALLY saw K Pop Demon Hunters, and Blake has opinions about twitch streaming etiquette, so take notes.

Depression meals are maybe not as depressing as we think this week and our Q&A is the first “would you rather” we’ve gotten so far. Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to [email protected] or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to [email protected] or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to [email protected] or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Spotify: (https://open.spotify.com/show/5T1lFECguCHnfbzyokEWTM?si=JLozFQEVRnC0HXPjHMHPSA)

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey y’aaalllll. How we doin? Fearing for American civil war? Cool, us too! Wanna take an hour away from the dread and gab with your parasocial pals? Okay, come on in. This week we almost immediately devolve into a tangent about fast food because we are nothing if not connoisseurs of fried brown things. Did you know people are donating blood to get rid of microplastics? Good luck to the recipients. Heather’s keeping young by fangirling about ~theatre~ after seeing MASQUERADE aka the interactive, fan fiction answer to Phantom of the Opera closing. Blake is staying young because it’s seeming like the AI bubble might burst! Yay! Blake is aging because of the internet’s reaction to something (again) and Heather is aging because of America’s absolutely abysmal so-called democrazy (again).Dear listeners. Please indulge us - honestly for the bulk of the episode - while we go photo by photo of our own ig 2016 post. That’s right, it’s a full on slide show of inside jokes and summer memories from TEN years ago. On a famously audio based medium! But idk, maybe you’ll like it! The 20 other traumatized opera singer friends who were there will love it.

We double up on Depression Meal submissions this week but the Q&A is surprisingly un-depressing. And that’s balance, folks!

Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to [email protected] or @keepmeyoungpod.

Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick 

@popkisstheband

@niconeeek

@sydneypatrick_

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices