Keeping It Young

Dave and Bethlie continue their series in identifying biblical steps for climbing out of the darkness that depression can bring. From confessing sin and getting right with God, to listing your responsibilities, avoiding pity parties, and anchoring yourself in the truth of Scripture, we know God's Word is powerful enough to help you overcome. Just as David continually brought himself back to the truth of who God is in the midst of his own pain, so can you. If God is real and His Word is true — and it is — you can overcome depression!

1. You can recognize a failing solution when the depression become cyclical
   1. Discouragement is normal to live
   2. Depression occurs when I handle discouragements and failures in a wrong way
   3. Stay focused on duties
      1. If discouragement separates us from our duties, it will always lead to depression
      2. You MUST continue to perform your duties and meet your obligations
   1. Around and around in depression
   2. Cf. 2 Corinthians 4:8
   3. Recognize the truth about what is happening
   4. Understand the difference in discouragement and depression

Steps to take:

1. Confess sin
2. List responsibilities
   1. Pity parties
   2. Gripe sessions
   3. complaining
   1. Your family
   2. Your home
   3. Your job
   4. Avoid all the negatives
3. Get to work doing them

Some truths about depression:

1. Some things are necessary in overcoming depression:
   1. You have to know God personally and intimately
   2. You have to desire to please God by doing what He says
   3. You have to obey God regardless of how you feel
2. Some are more susceptible to depression
   1. It is especially a problem for those who are responsible to set and keep their own schedule
   2. It is especially a problem for those who don't have a schedule
   3. Those who have a schedule (from a boss or workplace) have less of an issue with depression
      1. Self-control is strengthened by their schedule
      2. Self-discipline is set for them already
3. Some things naturally lead towards depression
   1. A setback
      1. Sickness
      2. Disappointment
      3. Failure
      4. Guilt
   2. A tendency to follow feelings rather than to pursue obligations
   3. A willingness to participate in pit-parties or to continually focus on self
4. Nothing but obedience to God and His Word can overcome depression
   1. Ignoring it won't work
   2. Anti-depressants won't work
   3. Substance abuse won't work

Is your marriage struggling? In Part 2 of this series Overcoming A Bad Marriage, Dave and Bethlie share biblical steps for overcoming a bad marriage and restoring what God intended for your relationship.

1. Learn to love again
   1. Define it
      1. Love and feelings are not the same thing
      2. Love is about pleasing God
      3. Love is being willing to give another whatever it is that they need because you know it is what God commands you to do.
   2. Biblicize it
      1. Ephesians 5:25 Husbands love your wives as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her
      2. Older women teach the younger women to love their husbands
      3. Love your neighbor
         1. Your spouse is your closest neighbor so you have to love them
      4. Matthew 5:44. Love your enemy
         1. The lowest level of love
2. Determine to please God
   1. Get very close to Him
      1. James 4:8
      2. The closer you are to God the healthier you will be
      3. The closer you are to God the stronger you will be
   2. Honor God in the decisions you make and your marriage will be amazing
3. Take steps to love
   1. Learn to give.
      1. John 3:16
      2. Gal 2:20
      3. Proverbs 25:21
   2. Learn to forgive
      1. Forgiveness promises not to use another's wrongdoings against them in the future
      2. Forgiveness promises not to talk to other people about another's wrongdoings
      3. Forgiveness promises not to dwell on the other's wrongdoings
   3. Learn to meet each other's needs

Join Dave and Bethlie as they continue this overcoming series with this first in a two part series about Ovecoming A Bad Marriage.

Part 1

1. What is a bad marriage?
   1. Typically marriages don't start badly
      1. We meet
      2. We talk
      3. We spend time together
      4. We "fall in love"
      5. We propose
      6. We make plans
      7. We get married.
   2. Marriage can become bad
      1. It happens in a process of time
      2. We don't love each other anymore
      3. We aren't compatible
      4. We are miserable
      5. We allow hurt feelings to become BIG problems
      6. We allow little things to become bigger things
2. What do you do about it?
   1. Remember your vows
      1. For better or for worse
      2. A verbal commitment to honor God and His Word
         1. Divorce is only permitted in a few select cases
         2. Divorce is rarely the best option
         3. Divorce opens the door to more divorce
   2. Repent at the thought of ending it

Happy Valentine's week!

Join Dave and Bethlie as they discuss how love overcomes!

Every marriage faces misunderstandings, but it's how we handle them that determines whether our relationship thrives or struggles. In this episode of Keeping It Young, Dave and Bethlie share practical, biblical wisdom on overcoming misunderstandings in marriage before they grow into bigger problems.

Learn how to approach difficult conversations with humility and kindness, share your needs in ways your spouse can receive them, and present issues without tearing down your spouse. Dave and Bethlie discuss the difference between minor miscommunications and deeper misunderstandings that need addressing.

Whether you're newlyweds or have been married for decades, this episode provides actionable application for maintaining intimacy, avoiding resentment, and growing together as co-laborers in Christ.

What You'll Learn:

• The difference between simple miscommunications and destructive misunderstandings
• How to approach issues with humility, kindness, and grace
• Why making demands always leads to failure in marriage
• How to share needs in a way your spouse can process
• Practical communication strategies for husbands and wives
• The spiritual foundation for overcoming relational challenges Episode Notes:

1. What do we mean by misunderstandings?
   1. Desires that aren't met
   2. Issues that won't go away
   3. Failure to meet each others needs
2. How do you overcome them?
   1. Approach issues in a right way
      1. Recognize the value of humility and kindness
         1. allows us to be vulnerable
         2. allows us to develop intimacy (even if it is small)
      2. Recognize that making demands equal failure
         1. These usually are accusations that are selfish
         2. They build walls rather than intimacy
   2. Share your needs in the way that your spouse processes
      1. Have a right motivation
         1. That your spouse will grow spiritually and have God's blessings
      2. Use a right presentation
         1. Don't belittle
         2. Be honest but build
            1. A husband especially needs this:
               1. I know you are better than this
         3. For a wife -
            1. don't process everything with him
            2. plan how to be kind and to the point
         4. For a husband
            1. Be kind and loving in your words
            2. Ask her to pray about the matter
            3. Share it with her and ask her to consider it and talk about it later
            4. Don't be frustrated by her processing
   3. Determine to grow (prefereably together)
      1. Know you you are in Christ
      2. Know who your spouse is in Christ
      3. Know that your are co-laborers for Christ
         1. You are in this together
         2. Pray for and help each other

Dave and Bethlie wrap up this first section of the Overcoming series focused on the subject of anger. We're also celebrating and praising the Lord for our 300th episode!

1. What do you do with a child who has a tendency to anger
   1. Correct them
      1. Punishment - Every time anger has to be confronted with a negative consequence
      2. We recommend a spanking - every time
   2. Teach them
      1. keep it simple
      2. This is wrong
      3. This is how you should respond
   3. Disciple them
      1. Your child will need the power of God's Word and God's Spirit
      2. Your child will need to walk with God
   4. Model for them
      1. You must do right first
      2. You must learn to have peace in your heart
      3. You have to model right responses to irritations and issues and life itself

Dave and Bethlie continue their series on overcoming with this part 2 of Overcoming Anger.

1. How do you overcome anger in your marriage and family
   1. Start with confession
      1. Eph 4:30. Confess it as sin
         1. Control your anger - better - confess your anger
         2. Jesus got angry - you aren't Jesus
   2. Meditate on Scripture
      1. Proverbs 15:1-3
         1. A soft/gentle answer turns away wrath
            • Recognize that you are most vulnerable to sin when you are sinned against
         2. the tongue of the wise uses knowledge aright
            • Recognize that your words evidence your heart
         3. the eyes of the Lord are in every place beholding the evil and the good
            • Recognize that God is always present and always holding us accountable
      2. Proverbs 17:19
      3. Ecclesiastes 9:17
   3. Start with some growth/spiritual steps
      1. If you have an anger issue this is the answer
         1. You have to grow
            1. Confess it as sin
            2. Pray about it every day
            3. Ask forgiveness
            4. Secure accountability
            5. Respond immediately to any failure
         2. You have to sow
            • As you sow the right seeds, you will begin to see fruit
         3. You have to love and honor
            1. Your wife matters
            2. Your husband matters
      2. If you are married to someone with an anger problem, this is the answer.
         1. You have to grow too
            1. In order to confront your spouses anger, you have to put your spiritual house in order
               • essential to have the strength, courage, perspective, and ability to help your spouse
            2. Pray about how to respond in a right way
            3. Practice how to respond in a right way
               • That was a very angry way to say that, can you say it differently so I don't feel so defensive
         2. You have to allow time for fruit
            1. Anger is usually a learned behavior that is habitual
            2. When you respond to your spouse with gentleness and a request for a different response, allow your spouse to process that
               1. It makes them aware
               2. It give the Spirit time to work
   4. Separate as a last resort.
      1. I can't (with a clear conscience) believe that anger is a grounds for divorce
      2. Separation however, may be needed if a man's anger is making him abusive

In this first episode of our Overcoming series, Dave and Bethlie discuss the topic of Anger.

Overcoming Anger

Quote: We are a society addicted to outrage. Martin Wickens

In the social media world, outrage generates more "clicks" and ad revenue than anything else

1. What does the Bible say about anger?
   1. Various words are used
      1. Anger
      2. Angry
      3. Wrath
   2. Be ye angry and sin not, let not the sun go down on your wrath
   3. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice
   4. A soft answer turns away wrath
   5. Fathers provoke not your children to anger

1. What does anger look like?
   1. an outward explosion
   2. a simmering resentment
   3. harsh words
   4. Rage
   5. An angry person is churlish, mean, unkind
      1. Illustration of Nabal
         1. churlish - difficult, fierce, intense
         2. Evil - bad, disagreeable, giving pain, unhappiness, or misery)
   6. An angry person is difficult to get along with
   7. Anger leads to bitterness and poisons an individual as well as everyone close to them - especially one's spouse and kids

1. What do we know about anger? Some things to understand:
   1. If you are single, know this: an anger issue always gets worse after marriage.
      1. "with a furious man you shall not go . . ."
      2. It is impossible to live with an angry man without making him angry
      3. Same is true for an angry woman
   2. The target of anger is not the cause
      1. You are not to carry the responsibility for a spouses anger or a parents anger
      2. It is not your fault if your spouse is angry
      3. It is not your fault if your parents are angry
   3. Regarding men:
      1. anger is fueled by testosterone and is different than a woman's anger
      2. Anger is physical often before it is processed
         1. (think of punching a wall)
         2. Crying is a woman's response to feeling unloved; anger is a man's response to feeling disrespected
      3. Talking things out will not make things better
         1. A man has to process his anger before he can talk
         2. Talking about it in the moment will only increase his anger
         3. give him time to golf, piddle in the garage, or whatever
            1. This is how he processes his emotions
            2. Very few men process their emotions by talking
   4. Regarding women:
      1. Anger is fueled by emotions and wounds
      2. Anger is often a result of unresolved conflicts
      3. Anger is sometimes the result of unmet expectations

Overcoming

1 John 5:4

This is the victory that overcomes the world, even our faith.

2 Corinthians 2:14

But thanks be unto God, who always causes us to triumph in Christ

Introduction: As we enter 2026, we are going to explore the word Overcoming!

How do you overcome (fill in the blank)?

Henry Ford "Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently"

Proposition: It is God's plan that we overcome every issue we face in our marriage and family and minstry.

Here are four essentials

1. The Word of God - what does the Bible say
2. Use of proven methods
   1. but is not a proven method
   2. and is a failed method
   1. but is a failed method
   1. Gentle parenting sounds so "cool"
   2. Cohabitation sounds plausible

1. Use of proven resources
   1. Connection classes, Sunday School, life groups, etc
   2. Worship
   3. Preaching
   4. Counseling
   1. Books are a gift from God that most people never take advantage of
   2. When it comes marriage and family issues, you cannot get the help you need in video snippets and fast-paced graphics
   3. The church

1. The investment of right steps over a long period of time
   1. Time is required to do the work
   2. Time is required to seek God through His Word in prayer
   3. Time is required for a continual application of right steps
   4. Time is required to develope new habits
   5. Time is required to make changes
   6. Time is required to sow seeds that can grow and bring fruit