Urban planning experts are hard at work on my hometown right now because we’re in the middle of updating our general plan and we’re reimagining what we want our town to look like in the next 25 years.
Tina and I were at a recent planning meeting where you might think the conversations would be dominated with talk of building infrastructure and economic development. But instead, to my delight, we spent most of the time talking about building human connections and trust.
It shouldn’t really surprise us but all the research points in the same direction: the happiness index for individuals and communities and even nations is not determined by the abundance of our wealth but rather by the abundance of our trust in one another. Experts can rate the trust in a community by asking just one question. It’s called the wallet test:
If you leave your wallet behind somewhere in your town, what do you believe the chances are that it will be returned to you intact? The answer to that question reveals how much you trust your community to have your back, but it also measures your general happiness.
We are the world’s wealthiest nation, we are the world’s most powerful nation, but we are not the world’s happiest nation. Not by a long shot. And we are not likely to become the world’s happiest nation until we overcome the trust issues we’ve struggled with from day one.
You see, not every nation is born out of revolution like we were. The upside is, we have a lot of gumption. The downside of revolution, even a morally justified revolution, is that all revolutions are fundamentally shaped by distrust.
Even 243 years later, Americans continue to distrust government, even though, technically speaking, WE are our government.
I’m not making political commentary. I’m just pointing out the fact that we have some issues to get past because they’re getting in the way of our happiness. Because as it turns out, trust is the precursor to feeling safe, and without feeling safe all we are left with is crippling fear.
Trust equals safety. It gives us room to breath. Trust is the safe harbor for every risky life adventure I’ve ever embarked upon. Trust in one single person, is why I’m here with you right now.
I don’t pretend to know how to restore trust. I only know how to build it by trying myself to be someone trust-worthy. To be someone safe. Safe for others to work with. Safe for others to be honest with. Safe for others to be imperfect around. That used to be one of the definitions of a good leader. We need to raise that bar again.
Trust is so important between us, it’s why the author George MacDonald once wrote, “To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.”
Trust may very well be America’s next great frontier. I hope we can reach it.
I only know this … We put “In God we trust” on our money, but at some point we’re also going to have to stop fearing one another and starting trusting one another if here and now we ever hope to build ourselves a beautiful life.