Aunee shares her experience coming from an Asian background, where societal expectations and
the pressure to maintain a perfect image are damaging. Despite being believed
by everyone, that her uncle has sexually abused her she finds herself silenced
and dismissed. Aunee expresses her desire to be seen and heard despite the
The Impact of Asian Society:
Aunee reflects on how Asian society enables perpetrators by failing to hold them
accountable for their actions, be it domestic violence or sexual abuse. She
finds it difficult to comprehend why her own family would continue to talk to
the perpetrator, leaving her feeling betrayed and questioning her worth.
Escaping and Finding a Toxic Relationship:
In an attempt to distance herself from her family and the Asian culture she wanted no
part of, Aunee enters into a relationship with someone, however, she soon realises that
he is the wrong person. Despite red flags, Aunee blinds herself to the
warning signs. Verbal abuse, physical harm, and feelings of worthlessness
become the norm, as her self-esteem deteriorates further.
Parenthood and Struggles:
As a young mother, Aunee faces the challenges of raising her child while navigating a
toxic relationship. She takes a year off from university and moves in with her
boyfriend, becoming isolated from her family. The turbulent relationship,
constant breakups, and makeups, and the strain on her studies lead Aunee to
make the difficult decision of leaving university, sacrificing her education.
Feeling overwhelmed and wanting to escape herself and her trauma, Aunee turns to
alcohol. Alcohol becomes her means of self-medication, providing temporary relief from her pain. She loses control
over her drinking, and her need to escape becomes all-consuming. Aunee's
relationship with alcohol intensifies over the years.
Rock Bottom and the Path to Recovery:
Aunee reaches a point where she can no longer manage herself, let alone care for her
children. Understanding the detrimental impact of her addiction, she makes the
responsible decision to hand her children over to their father for stability
and support. Aunee's relationship with her children suffers, and they lose
trust in her due to her repeated promises to change and subsequent relapses. This
rock bottom moment prompts her to seek help.
Facing Trauma and Acceptance:
Recognizing the trauma, she has caused her children, Aunee realises that she has become the
abuser, perpetuating the cycle of harm. This realisation is a harsh pill to
swallow, but it fuels her determination to change. Aunee starts her
rehabilitation programs that address her PTSD and confronts her past traumas
head-on. Accepting her faults and understanding the connection between her
addiction and trauma becomes a turning point in her recovery journey.
Leaving rehab, Aunee faces the daunting challenge of re-entering the outside world.
With newfound self-awareness and a sense of her strengths and weaknesses, she
returns home to her family. There is fear and uncertainty, but Aunee is
determined not to let herself down. She embraces accountability and takes
responsibility for her recovery, committing to a life without alcohol.
Becoming a Peer Mentor and Advocate:
Aunee's transformative journey leads her to become a peer mentor for a local recovery network,
specifically focusing on supporting Asian individuals. Through open and honest
discussions about her own experiences, Aunee strives to mentor and inspire
Asian women who may be facing similar struggles. Despite attempts from her
family to silence her, she remains steadfast in speaking her truth and
Under The Influence Podcast #2. Aunee Bhogaita Talking rehab and recovery. - YouTube
Leicester woman who turned to alcohol after sex abuse felt silenced - BBC News
https://youtu.be/Sft4OHT3Xz8
