*Hold on to your butts, lil onions, it's a ridiculous but hilarious ride today. Today, the siblings cringe through a pathetic game of one-upsmanship between two fathers dead set on ruining Christmas for both their families. Ross scrapes together enjoyment for Matthew Broderick while basking in the camp of Danny DeVito and Kristen Chenoweth. Carie can't get over the nonsensical motivations of both fathers, but she should just leave that writer alone, right? Oh, and the reviews, lil onions, you are in for some giggles. 

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How embarrassing, lil onions. Today, the siblings are unpacking a comedy of errors, and not even Nancy Meyers can keep them completely hypnotized with her charming writing: It's The Parent Trap (1998). Ross is obsessed with the film's iconic soundtrack and the biconic coupling of Dennis Quaid and Natasha Richardson. Carie chokes on her rage over parents who are attentive yet somehow don't understand when a child has been replaced. Most of all, the siblings are impressed by the talent of little Lindsay Lohan in the role that brought us all her Macauley Culkin charms. 

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If you don't get the title, ask your parents or something. Or grandparents. Anyway, lil onions, this week the siblings are trying to find the humor in two well-meaning young people who set out to have eight children, but end up with A DOZEN. Ross is predictably fawning over Bonnie Hunt while Carie can't stop pointing out how unethical some aspects of this family structure can be. The siblings root for neglected middle child Mark and his toad, Beans while also managing to have at least one tiddlywink of warm and fuzzies in a sea of abject horror. 

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Forget spooky times this week, lil onions, it's FUSSY TIMES as Ross and Carie go back and forth on Wes Craven's iconic A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984). Carie has been a longtime fan of these films, and Ross is just now seeing the flagship film for the first time--and he's not impressed. Carie is a sucker for some quality special effects shots while Ross finds the logic of most of the movie somehow ridiculous despite the premise. Robert Englund however stuns as always, and the siblings are low-key obsessed with the body of work that is Heather Langenkamp. 

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Who's ready for Rear Window Jr.? This week the siblings unpack another old spooky favorite, Monster House (2006). Ever wondered the tortured backstory of the miserable old crank in the neighborhood who shakes his fists as he demands the children "stay off his lawn!"---well here it is. Carie draws some ominous paralells between today's plot and that of another suburban horror starring a dancing clown...Ross refuses to get over the fact that not a single adult ever witnesses this house acting sus, and the siblings remind themselves that the things that seem scariest are often just lonely and in need of support. 

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We are finally wrapping up the Disney Renaissance this week, lil onions. This is one of Ross' core favorites, which happens to also be the home to a bulk of the siblings favorite vocal stimmies. Once again, folks are in nature and then the British fuck up everting. But ross also imparts upon us all how we should be exercising our empathy muscle and also being big GAY for the soundtrack. Carie also has a bone to pick with Ross because he finds the animated characters attractive. Any Scandal fans in the chat? sound off in the timeline.

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Sorry for the late upload, but this content merited that. We do have some Ross' history corner, Carie is very passionate about "Colors of the Wind", Ross is deep in the larger war of HOW GOOD WAS JOHN SMITH??, And the siblings are very much on the side of do your own research. We are a bunch of Crackers.  Do not treat this as an avenue for nuance. 

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Shamelessly long one today, lil' onions. There is simply too much to unpack here in Carie Ann's favorite Disney film, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996). Carie dives into the layered lasagna of a film that was definitely made with kids in mind, yet somehow is BARELY child appropriate. Ross applauds the Disney team for walking a very fine line that still manages to point out the hypocrisy of power and religion. Carie also provides several truly disturbing events in the Victor Hugo novel, and the siblings revel in the execution of the film's dichotomy: What makes a monster and what makes a man? 

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WHO PUT THE GLAD IN GLADIATOR!? HER-A-CLES! This week, the siblings are breaking down one of Carie's treasured favorites from the Disney Renaissance, Hercules (1997). Carie's inner Humanities student is rearing it's insufferable head this week for all of the incredibly sophisticated jokes in the script. Ross is having trouble with the mixed salad of Roman and Greek references. He's also predictably uncomfortable and entertained by James Woods as Hades, and Carie once again is testing Ross with her characterization of the film as "biconic." Also, this film did great things for himbos. Where are all of our soft buff men who just want to love us the way we deserve? 

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Closing July out with a little casual Stockholm syndrome paired with some classic Disney music This week, the siblings are unpacking one of Disney's most beloved Renaissance classics, Beauty & the Beast (1991). Ross is concerned about how the movie's message might warp both little boys and girls. Carie fixates on the body horror of suddenly being an object. And the siblings get into the weeds of the fact that Belle was obviously having a quiet Furry panic. 

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