Crack open a Duff beer, have a seat on the couch, and join us for a deep dive into the pilot episode of The Simpsons. Some of the very best in voice acting in your earbuds today, with the siblings wondering if the entire voice cast has signed a life-long binding contract with Fox. Carie is gagged by how different the animation is, Ross is eternally perplexed by the physics of Marge Simpson's hair, and the siblings recall some of their favorite bits from the classic show. 

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Who's ready to get ZANY? This week, the siblings are unpacking a direct-to-video classic, Wakko's Wish (1999). Carie is having all of the dust blown off of her childhood shelf, Ross is preoccupied with the exact nature of the Warner siblings' taxonomy, and the siblings are reminded by the Wheel of Morality to CHEER UP AND NEVER GIVE UP HOPE...

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We're blowing dust off our brains this week, lil onions! Today we're revisiting a Sanrio compilation of Christmas-themed cartoons that was regular viewing in childhood. The siblings do NOT act their age as they break down Hello Kitty and Santa's Missing Hat, Keroppi and the Christmas Eve Gift, and an adorably short cartoon about a baby reindeer who wants nothing more than to pull Santa's sleigh on Christmas Eve. Ross is bopping to the tunes while Carie gets irrationally emotional about a tiny Christmas star who is too smol to light the way for Santa and his reindeer. 

Want to watch along? Watch HERE on Youtube. 

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The answer is of course, no. Dogs are only as racist as we teach them to be. Welcome, lil onions, to the final stretch of 2024. This month, we're doing low-impact childhood favorites to end our year on a soft place to fall. Up first is our breakdown of a harrowing yet endearing story of a half-wolf dog who wants desperately to be respected by his community. We're breaking down Balto (1995), a story that is rooted in history but very much diverges from fract. Ross is up front and center, ready to call Carie out on her affinity for animated animals. Carie gets emotional throughout about the mission of these doggos, and cannot be consoled ("MOVIES ABOUT DOGS ARE THE BEST!"). The siblings are both plagued by feelings that this movie brings up about other movies or tv in their childhoods that gripped them deeply. 

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*Who's ready to listen to Salieri whine some more? It goes off the rails this week, lil onions, as we conclude our two-part coverage of Amadeus (1984). Carie gets really granular with Mozart's infamous Requiem Mass and Mozart's creative process. Ross continues to bemoan Salieri's inability to just enjoy another's success. The siblings also expand on the circumstances of Mozart's demise. 

RELATED MEDIA: Great Music Explained

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The vibes are bad this week, lil onions! Today we begin our two-part coverage of Milos Forman's Amadeus (1984), a WILDLY fictionalized tale of a feud between composers Antonio Sallieri, and his much more beloved contemporary Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Ross has the ick about Sallieri from the beginning, and shows a paraphilic fondness of Mozart's actual hair color. Carie takes a turn doing her version of Ross' History Corner with some important asterisks about the film's liberties with musical history. And the siblings are completely OVER Sallieri being theoretically CUCKED, both by Mozart and by God Himself. 

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Don't cry for us, lil onions! We promise it's not gonna be a two-hour episode this time! Today is part musical, part Ross' History Corner as we break down the film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's dynamic musical biopic about the most enduring public figure in Argentina's history, Evita (1996). Ross (and the character of Che) recount the demonstrably corrupt way Eva Duarte became the center of Argentine ideology and iconography through her marriage to Colonel Juan Peron in the mid-20th century. Carie can't actually believe that she's BORED by one of her favorite genres, movie musicals. Not to mention the siblings always tucking their hair behind their ear about the everything that is Antonio Banderas. 

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It's a long one....maybe the longest we've ever had. But it's important. Today the siblings are unpacking Alan Moore's dense and almost impossible-to-adapt, V For Vendetta (2005). While the source material is gross, Ross is still here for the vendetta in question. Like to the poitn where the Secret Service might show up on Carie's doorstep but who knows. And the siblings are constantly aware of the world that might be tomorrow...and what will that bring?

I do not know what to say. Just take care of yourselves and each other. 

It's big core this week, lil onions. We are ending Spookaween right with Beetlejuice (1988), a hilariously dark and campy film about a bioexorcist who helps a recently deceased couple expel the living from their Connecticut farm house. Ross is hair-on-fire excited to talk about how Delia Deets is both the moment and the problem, Carie is here for the craftsmanship of a Tim Burton production, and the siblings are ready to have a dance party for the Harry Belafonte moment of this film. And don't forget, the siblings will be reviewing the sequel to this movie, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024) later this month on PATREON! 

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There's no ifs ands or buts about it this week, lil onions. James Wan just really wanted to do the Amityville Horror and didn't care very much if it would be clocked by viewers like you. But more importantly, James Wan's spectacular fan service for Ed and Lorraine Warren are on full display this week as we cover The Conjuring (2013). Carie is entirely caught up in Ed Warren's crimes against women, Ross is predictably in love with the music, and the siblings are forever living in the moment when they went to see this in the theater with MOM