Kicking & Streaming

Continuing the theme of disturbing animated films, the siblings break down Don Bluth's visual masterpiece, The Secret of NIMH (1982). Ross throughout questions creative diversions from the Robert C. O'Brien novel, Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, mostly the introduction of a magic rock that gives a rodent powers. Carie relives the trauma that is the Great Owl, who lives in the scariest tree in the woods. Ross declares that Trump would have supported Jenner's coup, and the siblings remark on why the government wants you illiterate and lazy. 

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WHAT DO YOU MEEEEEANNNN there is a cult of appliances in the woods? This week is so core for us, lil onions as we revisit some traumatizing animation. We see characters being dismembered, drowned, crushed to death, IT'S A LOT! but above it all, at least we have toaster, the heart, the soul, our sweet cheese, our good time guy (?)

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One sequel to rule them all, little onions. This week, we're unpacking one of Ross's cherished faves, The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement. In a welcomed change of pace from last episode's Spy Kids debacle, the siblings are falling in love all over again with Gary Marshall's adorable expansion on Meg Cabot's characters. There's laughter, there's intrigue, there's Chris Pine. Ross geeks out on the level of detail given to Genovian culture in the film. Carie unironically weeps more than once somehow. And the siblings once again embroil themselves in a film theory that the queen, her bodyguard, and her secretary are in a love triangle. 

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Woof. Uhh...wherrrrre to begin? This movie is not what we remember guys. This week the siblings unpack the Spy Kids sequel that is a consistent disappointment. From the bloated CGI to the lazy writing, the eyes keep on rolling. Ross is over the stupidity of the adults in the film. Carie is hurting for the family-forward spirit of the original. And yeah, there's that one cool line, but you might agree that its the singular best thing about it. 

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It's too long, lil onions. Ross is so hype this week to talk about one of his favorite albeit middling movies, King Kong (2005). Ross is caught up in the world of the 1930s that pushes a struggling actress to take a job from a rando that involves sailing to the middle of the ocean to an island no one ever comes back from to film a B-movie featuring a primatus colossus. Carie cannot possibly care about the human love story that's in the middle of all that somewhere. And the siblings both have a lot of love for Naomi Watts' uncanny performance as Miss Anne Darrow, the one true love of King Kong's life. 

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Or How to Lose a Ship in 10 Days. WE'RE BACK, lil onions! After a long hiatus, we're back with some adventure films for you in the month of March. We're kicking off with Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, and the swashbuckling story of Captain Jack Sparrow's journey to reclaim his infamous ship from a crew of undead pirates. Somehow despite our best efforts to avoid Disney, we've accidentally hit the bullseye. Ross is struggles with calling the Isle de Muerte by its name, Carie is gobsmacked by the strength of the CGI 23 years later, and the siblings reflect on how lucky they were to grow up when movies like this came out. 

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Happy holidays, lil onions! As our gift to you this season, we've got a special extended episode on one of Ross' favorite fantasy films The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and The Wardrobe (2005).  There's so much lore here, folks. Carie surprisingly comes to the defense of Edmund Penvensie when he falls for the White Witch's charms. Ross provides a deep dive on the origins of Narnia and how it came to be vis a vi The Magician's Nephew, as well as pointing out a frustrating plot hole regarding Jadis' demise. Also Santa is here? Which makes sense. After all, the Jesus lion is here as well!

Thank you all again so much for supporting us this year. We'll be back in March on main feed, but in the meantime, you can still catch us over on our Patreon, which you can find at the link below. Please stay safe, everyone. Take care of yourselves and each other. 

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The Chronicles of Narnia (1988) Aslan is so goofy you guys

*Hold on to your butts, lil onions, it's a ridiculous but hilarious ride today. Today, the siblings cringe through a pathetic game of one-upsmanship between two fathers dead set on ruining Christmas for both their families. Ross scrapes together enjoyment for Matthew Broderick while basking in the camp of Danny DeVito and Kristen Chenoweth. Carie can't get over the nonsensical motivations of both fathers, but she should just leave that writer alone, right? Oh, and the reviews, lil onions, you are in for some giggles. 

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How embarrassing, lil onions. Today, the siblings are unpacking a comedy of errors, and not even Nancy Meyers can keep them completely hypnotized with her charming writing: It's The Parent Trap (1998). Ross is obsessed with the film's iconic soundtrack and the biconic coupling of Dennis Quaid and Natasha Richardson. Carie chokes on her rage over parents who are attentive yet somehow don't understand when a child has been replaced. Most of all, the siblings are impressed by the talent of little Lindsay Lohan in the role that brought us all her Macauley Culkin charms. 

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If you don't get the title, ask your parents or something. Or grandparents. Anyway, lil onions, this week the siblings are trying to find the humor in two well-meaning young people who set out to have eight children, but end up with A DOZEN. Ross is predictably fawning over Bonnie Hunt while Carie can't stop pointing out how unethical some aspects of this family structure can be. The siblings root for neglected middle child Mark and his toad, Beans while also managing to have at least one tiddlywink of warm and fuzzies in a sea of abject horror. 

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