Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic

Ep. 76 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Not signing up for more of the same

Anaya wonders what to do when friends leave her behind. Scroll down for discussion questions.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus online workshop announcements.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- How do you think Ayana felt when the other kids ditched her? Has anything like that ever happened to you? How did you handle it?

- Dr. Friendtastic says telling on the kids who ditched her probably won’t be helpful for Ayana. Do you agree? Why or why not? How do you decide when it’s a good idea to tell on someone?

- Mistakes and misunderstandings happen in every friendship. How do you decide whether to try to work things out with old friends or look for different friends?

- Dr. Friendtastic says, “We can’t control what other people do; we can only control what we do.” What does this mean in Ayana’s case? (Hint: Can she make the other kids want to play with her?)

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 60 – Henry, Age 8: Friends invited but not him https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-drfriendtastic-ep60-henry-age-8

Ep. 74 – Aubrey, Age 6: Friend hits her https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep74-aubrey-age-6-friend-hits-her

Ep. 69 – Phoebe, Age 6: Friends exclude her https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/phoebe-age-6-friends-get-together

Ep. 75 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Learning to be a good sport

Like a lot of kids, Alex has trouble coping with losing a game.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus online workshop announcements.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Why do you think some kids have trouble handling losing a game? (Hint: How does losing make them think or feel?)

- What would you say to comfort a friend who was upset about losing a game

- Adults often tell kids, “It’s not whether you win or lose; it’s how you play the game.” What do you think that means?

- What are some things kids need to do or not do to be a good sport?

- What is your favorite game to play? What do you like about that game?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 7 – Emma, Age 11: Friend is a poor sport https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep7-poor-sport-friend

Ep. 53 – Lillian, Age 11: How to stay calm when someone is bragging https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/lillian-age-11-how-to-stay-calm-when

Ep. 66 – Adeline, Age 8: Friends don't invite her https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/adeline-age-8-friends-dont-invite

Ep. 74 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: End a friendship or work it out?

Aubrey wants to know what to do about a friend who hits her.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus online workshop announcements.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- School-age kids know they shouldn’t hit people, so why do you think they sometimes do?

- If someone hits you, why is hitting them back likely to make the situation worse? What could you do instead?

- If a friend did something you didn’t like, how would you decide whether to try to talk about it and work things out or end the friendship?

- Dr. Friendtastic said, “The best time to talk about a problem is when people are NOT extremely upset.” Why is that true? (Hint: What’s likely to happen if you try to talk to someon about a problem when you or they are extremely upset?)

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 59 – Jessie, Age 13: Get rid of toxic friends https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep59-jessie-age-13

Ep. 6 – Jayden, Age 9: Why do kids bully? https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep6-why-kids-bully

Ep. 62 – All About Forgiveness https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep62-all-about-forgiveness

Ep. 73 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: A fast (but not easy) way to repair a friendship rift

J.J. feels hurt, angry, and confused because the kid he considered his best friend suddenly refuses to play with him.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus online workshop announcements.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Why is suddenly cutting someone off and refusing to speak with them NOT a good way to deal with conflicts?

- Why does Dr. Friendtastic focus on what J.J. can do to move forward rather than what J.J.’s best friend did wrong? (Hint: Whose actions is J.J. in charge of?)

- Have you ever apologized to a friend? If so, why? How did the friend respond?

- Why is it sometimes hard for kids to apologize?

- What are some ways to apologize well? What are some examples of a not-so-good apology?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 68 – Maya, Age 6: Friend runs away from her https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/maya-age-6-friend-runs-away-from

Ep. 60 – Henry, Age 8: Friends invited but not him https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-drfriendtastic-ep60-henry-age-8

Ep. 71 – Tali, Age 11: Is she a friend or not? https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ep71-tali-age-11-is-she-a-friend-or-not

Ep. 72 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Making Friends at a New School

Nora wants to know what she can do to make friends when she's starting at a new school.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

FREE quiz: Is Your Child a Good Friend? https://eileenkennedymoore.ck.page/e37dcc098f

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Think of a time when you started a friendship. What happened? Who reached out first, you or the other kid? How did you and your friend show each other that you were open to friendship?

- Dr. Friendtastic says, “Friendships take time to grow.” What does that mean? (Hint: Why do you NOT have to worry if you’re not instantly close friends with someone?)

- What’s one example of something kind you’ve done for another kid? How did that kid react?

- Why is it usually not a good idea to read a book at lunch or recess? (Hint: What message does that send other kids?)

- Why is it important to try to learn other kids’ names?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 63 - Rosie, age 5 3/4: Friend wants all her attention https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep63-rosie-age-5

Ep. 16 - Sam, age 13: Joining a new group of friends https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-16-sam

Ep. 44 - Vera, age 8: Change self to make friends? https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/vera-age-8-change-self-to-make-friends

Ep. 71 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Dealing with a Hot-and-Cold Friend

Tali is trying to figure out whether a friend who runs hot-and-cold–sometimes kind, sometimes unkind–is really her friend.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- How does a close friendship differ from a casual friendship?

- Why do you think kids sometimes stick with a not-so-kind friend?

- What does it mean to you to be a “Steady-Warm Friend”?

- Everybody makes mistakes. How would you decide if a friendship is worth continuing after a friend does something you don’t like?

- What are some ways you could use good communication to handle a friendship rough spot or conflict?  

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 1 - Naomi, age 7: Friendship ends over small thing https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-1

Ep. 67 - Paul, age 12: Choosing good friends https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/paul-age-12-choosing-friends-who

Ep. 15 - Evie, age 9: What is a close friend https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-15-evie

Ep. 70 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Sending and receiving Stop Signals

Owen asks about Stop Signals, which are all the verbal and nonverbal ways people tell someone to stop. Sending and receiving Stop Signals effectively can protect a friendship!

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Why are Stop Signals important for protecting friendships? (Hint: What could happen if you want a friend to stop doing something, but you don’t say anything? What could happen if your friend gives you a Stop Signal and you ignore it?) 

- Describe a time when a friend asked you to stop doing something. How did you feel about being asked to stop? How did you respond? 

- Describe a time when you wanted a friend to stop doing something. How did you handle it? How did your friend respond?

- Why do you think kids sometimes ignore Stop Signals?

- What are some things you could do if you ask someone to stop but they don’t listen? 

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 41 - Tessa, Age 9: Friends won't listen to stop or no https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/tessa-age-9-boundaries

Ep. 18 – Kai, Age 9: Friends call him bossy https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-18-kai

Ep. 43 - Beatrix, Age 8: Friend cut her hair! https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/beatrix-age-8-friend-cuts-her-hair

Ep. 69 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Is an imperfect friendship worth keeping?

Phoebe feels excluded when her friends hang out without her.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever felt left out? How did you handle it?

- Why is it unfair (and unkind) to insist, “I’ll only be your friend if you never do anything without me!”?

- Why is it sometimes worth keeping an imperfect friendship with someone who is usually kind and fun?

- Dr. Friendtastic said that doing activities together, inviting someone over, or saying, “I’d love to do that with you sometime!” could be good ways to deepen a friendship. What have you done to try to become closer friends with someone?

- Why might adding a fourth friend to the group be helpful?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 26 - Abigail, Age 10 - Friendship doesn't have to be all or nothing https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-26-abigail

Ep. 8 - Blake, Age 11: Excluded by friends https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-episode-1b6

Ep. 66 - Adeline, Age 8: Friends don't invite her https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/146810575/b3524087ba7d2f24c11daf518984e212.mp3

Ep. 68 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Avoiding the demand-withdraw pattern

Maya wonders how to handle a friend who runs away and ignores her.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- Have you ever been in a situation like Maya’s, where someone was running away from you? Have you ever run away from someone? What happened? 

- Why does Dr. Friendtastic suggest NOT chasing a friend who is running away (unless it’s a fun game of tag!)? (Hint: What should you look for in a friendship?)

- Why do you think kids sometimes avoid discussing problems? How might that hurt a friendship? What could friends do to make problem discussions easier? (Hint: What are things you could say or avoid saying to make a conflict less painful?)

- Why might it be a good idea for the person who is LEAST wrong to apologize first?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 32 - Tara, Age 12: Friend is pulling away https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-32-tara

Ep. 45 - Reid, Age 5: Gets angry at classmates https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/reid-age-5-gets-angry-at-classmates

Ep. 60 - Henry, Age 8: Friends invited but not him https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-drfriendtastic-ep60-henry-age-8

Ep. 67 - Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic: Peer pressure vs. peer influence

Paul asks how to find the right friends to surround himself with.

Scroll down for discussion questions.

Would YOUR KID like to be featured on the podcast?

SUBMIT A QUESTION TO DR. FRIENDTASTIC at https://DrFriendtastic.com/submit (Obviously, this is not psychotherapy, and it’s not for emergency situations.)

For an easy-to-read TRANSCRIPT, go to: https://DrFriendtastic.com/podcast/

Like the podcast? Check out my books and webinars at https://EileenKennedyMoore.com.

Subscribe to my NEWSLETTER, https://DrFriendtastic.substack.com, to get podcast episodes sent to your email plus posts for parents.

*** DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

- What are some ways that you’ve been influenced by your friends? Do you think that influence has been positive (good for you) or negative (bad for you)? Why? 

- Have you ever been in a situation where a friend tried to pressure you to do something you didn't want to do? What happened?

- What three words would you use to describe the five (or so) friends you spend the most time with? Do you think those three words also describe you? Why or why not?

- Dr. Friendtastic said, “However your friends might influence or even pressure you, you’re in charge of deciding what’s the right thing for you to do.” What does that mean?

*** You might also like these podcast episodes:

Ep. 16 - Sam, Age 13: Joining a new group of friends https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic-ep-16-sam

Ep. 36 - Ann, Age 9: Dealing with peer pressure https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/ann-age-9-dealing-with-peer-pressure

Ep. 43 - Beatrix, Age 8: Friend cut her hair! https://drfriendtastic.substack.com/p/beatrix-age-8-friend-cuts-her-hair