Welcome to New Earth, Trashlings! Pluto has officially left Capricorn for the rest of our lives and we’re living in a post-facts, post-timeline world. 

This week:

• Dax Shepard interviews Cynthia Erivo about how she wipes her ass.
• The Wicked press tornado’s still spinning: placeholder website on Wicked toy boxes leads to porn site. Gemini Sun Ethan Slater seems to be winning over the public including Cody Rigsby of Peloton fame. Ariana Grande is lost in Glinda.
• Kim K’s new Tesla robot may in fact be the co-parent of her dreams and ideal partner in leveling up in her career.
• The soothing fantasy of Republican coded television.
• Movie Rec: New Jersey native Christina Milian’s “See you next Christmas” on Netflix bravely centers a Pentatonix concert and hit's the spot!!
• Chicken Shop girl is becoming inevitable
• Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul’s Taurus Full Moon fight astrology. Jake Paul represents the passion gif the torch from Pluto in Capricorn into Pluto in Aquarius. 

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