Kintsugi Heroes

The weight I couldn't carry alone

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses addiction & recovery and grief & loss, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available:

• SMART Recovery Australia (addiction): smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au

• ReachOut: au.reachout.com

• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au

• GriefLine: 1300 845 745 · griefline.org.au

Duncan grew up in rural NSW, the son of a stock and station agent, and spent three decades chasing opportunities across three continents. He built businesses, mastered sales and fundraising, and lived what looked like an enviable life. Then in February 2020, his seven-year-old identical twin son Lachlan died unexpectedly. Days later, New York locked down. He performed CPR on his dead son and couldn't save him. His marriage fractured under the weight of unprocessed grief. He returned to Australia with four grieving children, no community, and a trauma he didn't know how to carry. Six years later, Duncan has rebuilt as a single father, stopped drinking to stay present, and found purpose working in childhood bereavement, the very space that held him when nothing else could.

Duncan Schieb is a country boy from Coonamble, NSW, who built a 30-year career across London, Hong Kong, and New York before returning to Australia. In 2020, his identical twin son Lachlan died, followed by lockdown and the end of his marriage. He now leads fundraising for A Friend's Place, Australia's specialist childhood bereavement service.

In this Kintsugi Heroes conversation with John Milham, Duncan shares the story behind the moments below.

🎙️ IN THIS CONVERSATION:

• Performing CPR on his dead son created a dual trauma, both grief and the knowledge that he could not save him.

• Country values, grounding, connection to place, pragmatism, anchored him across three decades in cities and chaos.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 The weight of what happened

03:16 A country boy's anchoring

06:08 Leaving home to find his own way

15:35 Three decades across continents

24:28 What the world taught him

32:29 Becoming the mentor he needed

35:55 The decision to come home

39:28 Lachlan dies, the city locks down

46:46 The guilt he carried

52:41 Learning he was stronger than he knew

01:05:38 Finding purpose in bereavement work

01:15:49 What comes next

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:

A Friend's Place (formerly National Centre for Childhood Grief): childhoodgrief.org.au

Lifeline Australia: 13 11 14

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH US

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes

📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes

💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #goldenjoinery #kintsugiprinciple #grief #fatherhood #bereavement #singleparent #mentalhealth #childloss #communitycare

———

Show notes by TBC · Approved by TBC · Australian English

I knew I was going away

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses addiction & recovery and trauma & healing, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available:

• SMART Recovery Australia (addiction): smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au

• ReachOut: au.reachout.com

• Blue Knot Foundation (complex trauma): 1300 657 380 · blueknot.org.au

• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au

Paul Turley grew up in Sydney with loving but distant parents who separated when he was 14. The fracture triggered years of unmanaged grief, heavy drinking, drug use, and directionless drift through his late teens and early twenties. On New Year's Eve 2004, fueled by jealousy and intoxication, Paul drove drunk and stoned from a party toward his girlfriend's house, crashed into a car at high speed, and killed Yook Wai Leung, a 62-year-old chef coming home from work. The crash shattered Paul's jaw, ruptured his bowel, and sent him to prison for two and a half years. In his hospital bed, Paul made two decisions: accept the consequence and find a way to make the tragedy mean something. He rebuilt himself through prison programs, moved to Western Australia to distance himself from old patterns, built a family and career in mining, and now speaks to schools, workplaces, and communities about decision-making, accountability, and the possibility of coming back from the worst choices. Today he honours Yook Wai Leung's name in his advocacy work and hopes one day to meet the victim's family.

Paul Turley is a book publisher, author, and senior operations executive in Western Australia's mining industry. At 22, he drove drunk and stoned from a New Year's Eve party, crashed into an oncoming car, and killed a 62-year-old chef. He served two and a half years in prison and has since dedicated his life to road safety advocacy and helping young people understand the weight of decision-making.

In this Kintsugi Heroes conversation with John Milham, Paul shares the story behind the moments below.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 The decision

04:00 Broken family, spiral begins

08:22 Humility and cockiness

11:10 New Year's Eve 2004

13:30 The crash

16:52 Waking in the hospital

24:30 Owning the mistake

28:45 First day in prison

38:21 What is the why

46:30 Honouring Yook Wai Leung

52:45 The power of sharing

56:11 Gratitude and intention

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:

whatforservices.com: whatforservices.com

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH US

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes

📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes

💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #goldenjointery #rebuilding #meaningfromtrauma #accountability #decision-making #roadsafety #mentoring #prisonreform #secondchances #youngpeople

———

Show notes by TBC · Approved by TBC · Australian English

Mentioned in this episode:

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

Coming out cost me a job

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses suicide, abuse, addiction, grief, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone. Help is available:

• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au

Christine spent her early career hiding her sexuality while building a life as a mental health clinician, nursing in hospitals and communities across Australia. In her twenties, she survived a suicide attempt after her father's death, trauma and substance abuse she kept secret for years. Finding Qigong in 1997 became her turning point; three years of practice helped her process grief and anger she had refused to acknowledge. She eventually came out publicly, experiencing mostly family and community support, though a job application was denied when she disclosed her relationship with a woman. Now 66, Christine works in palliative and aged care, volunteers with the LEAP Lived Experience Advisory Panel, and travels to remote communities, bringing her hard-won wisdom to others navigating identity, loss, and belonging.

Christine Selman is a mental health nurse, Qigong practitioner, and lived experience advocate with nearly five decades of clinical work across Australia, regional, remote, and Indigenous communities. She came out as a gay woman later in life and now sits on the Silver Pride Lived Experience Panel for the LGBTIQ Health Organisation, supporting older LGBTIQ people in aged care and community settings.

In this Pride In Stories conversation with John Dwyer, Christine shares the story behind the moments below.

🎙️ IN THIS CONVERSATION:

• Coming out cost her a job, but staying hidden costs your sense of self.

• Unprocessed trauma doesn't disappear; Qigong gave her a way to release what she'd buried for decades.

• Her suicide attempt deepened rather than diminished her ability to help others find hope.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 Welcome and land acknowledgement

03:20 Coming out as a gay woman in her 30s

05:34 Realising her identity: connection to women

09:11 Her son's journey accepting her coming out

14:21 Why she moved to the Northern Territory

20:45 Survived a suicide attempt in her twenties

22:00 Finding Qigong and releasing hidden trauma

27:34 LGBTQ people in remote Indigenous communities

29:17 Denied a job for being honest about being gay

32:33 Work with the Silver Pride Lived Experience Panel

35:17 Her life now: palliative care, travel, and purpose

37:31 Advice for allies supporting the LGBTIQ community

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH US

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes

📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes

💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #PrideInStories #LGBTQVoices #LGBTQHistory #MentalHealthRecovery #ComingOut #AuthenticLiving #IndigenousHealth #AgedCare #Allyship

———

Show notes by TBC · Approved by TBC · Australian English

Mentioned in this episode:

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

The castle with 1000 rooms

Sarah Rowan grew up in South Carolina's Bible Belt in a loving but restrictive Christian environment. She was told she could be anything except gay. For decades, she buried her identity under achievement, perfectionism, and faith, eventually developing debilitating rheumatoid arthritis by age 30 from the inflammation of unprocessed trauma. At 38, she could no longer hide. She left her marriage with nothing and moved to Australia, where she discovered that speed painting and live performance could communicate across all barriers. Today, she runs a thriving art and speaking practice, partners with a woman who loves her without conditions, and teaches others that creativity and self-acceptance are paths to healing. She holds her beliefs gently now, like potato chips, and finds gold in every crack.

Sarah Rowan is an Australian artist, speed painter, and keynote speaker who spent her first 38 years living according to a strict religious framework that denied her identity as a same-sex attracted woman. After leaving her 12-year marriage with $24 and two suitcases, she rebuilt her life through art and connection, now raising awareness about creativity's role in mental health and human wellbeing.

In this Kintsugi Heroes conversation with John Milham, Sarah shares the story behind the moments below.

🎙️ IN THIS CONVERSATION:

• We close 1000 doors

• Trauma lives in our bodies

• Self-dialogue is the lever

• Unconditional love has no list

• Creativity is the medicine

• The story matters more than the image

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 Beliefs held gently

03:23 The gift of hands and creation

07:37 Growing up in the Bible Belt

12:38 In the backseat of her own life

17:49 The castle with 1000 rooms

21:00 The flat tire that changed everything

29:30 Trauma as inflammation

35:38 Art as meditation and medicine

40:25 The real ikigai

43:08 What unconditional love taught her

47:34 Systems, time, and the fire horse

50:16 Finding Sarah Rowan

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH US

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes

📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes

💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #goldintheCracks #goldenjoinery #storythatmatter #creativity #mentalhealth #trauma #selfacceptance #LGBTQ #healing #unconditionallove #reinvention

———

Show notes by Kintsugi Studio · Approved by Tony Bailey · Australian English

Mentioned in this episode:

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

The birds are still tweeting

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses addiction & recovery, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone — help is available:

• SMART Recovery Australia (addiction): smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au

• ReachOut: au.reachout.com

Luis grew up as a Jehovah's Witness in a household marked by his mother's severe mental health challenges, physical disability, and domestic violence. By age eight he was her primary carer. When his mother died during his teen years, his grief spiraled into heavy substance use. After his son was born, child protection removed the child from his care. Luis committed to recovery: he entered detox, returned to school, worked with a psychologist, and documented his progress through letters from supporters. Within months he regained full custody. Today, as a peer worker and final-year community services student, Luis supports young fathers and people experiencing homelessness, drawing on his lived experience to build trust and hope where systems have failed.

Luis Montero is a peer worker and community services student supporting people experiencing homelessness and housing insecurity. A single father to his seven-year-old son, Luis spent his teens and early adulthood navigating addiction, child protection involvement, and rough sleeping. He is now rebuilding his life while helping others do the same.

In this Kintsugi Heroes conversation with John Milham, Luis shares the story behind the moments below.

🎙️ IN THIS CONVERSATION:

• Early caregiver responsibility became his template for adulthood.

• Shame silenced him before connection could save him.

• Substance use masked grief and powerlessness, not moral failure.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 Welcome and opening

02:41 Hopes for 2026: finishing studies, peer work, time with his son

05:37 Growing up: Jehovah's Witnesses, mother's illness and disability

11:50 Childhood without celebration, ostracized, carer at eight

14:09 Father's belittling, domestic violence, learning what manhood meant

18:15 Finding a father figure; substance use and numbing pain

28:54 Rock bottom: substance use, homelessness, suicidal ideation

30:45 What street life taught him: listening, compassion, relationships

37:46 Peer work now: building trust with people experiencing homelessness

42:56 Teaching his son: freedom of expression, exploration, choice

49:30 Dream: creating support services for young fathers

51:00 Closing: the birds are still tweeting

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH US

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes

📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes

💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #kintsugistories #livexperience #peakwork #homelessness #recovery #fatherhood #mentalhealth #childprotection #substanceuse #communityservices

———

Show notes by Kintsugi Studio · Approved by Tony Bailey · Australian English

Mentioned in this episode:

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses abuse & exploitation and domestic & family violence, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone — help is available:

• Blue Knot Foundation (complex trauma): 1300 657 380 · blueknot.org.au

• 1800RESPECT (family, domestic & sexual violence): 1800 737 732 · 1800respect.org.au

Our hero grew up in a controlling religious cult where emotions were suppressed and difference was dangerous. After high school, while exploring their non-binary identity with supportive friends, their family's reaction escalated from verbal abuse to physical threats. On the day of their first therapy session, our hero left home with minimal belongings, relying on queer support services, a cousin's help, and friends willing to shelter them. Over months of couch-surfing, changing their phone, navigating Centrelink, and legally changing their name, our hero built a new identity and reclaimed their future. Today, they're thriving at university, surrounded by chosen family, able to invite friends over, and planning research that could expand gender-affirming care for non-binary people.

In this Pride In Stories conversation with John Dwyer, our hero shares the story behind the moments below.

🎙️ IN THIS CONVERSATION:

• Verbal and mental abuse can be as damaging as physical violence, yet is often dismissed or minimized.

• Planning with queer-specific support services before leaving makes the immediate aftermath far less chaotic.

• Friends often have more capacity and willingness to help than we assume; the work is in asking clearly.

• Getting financial support through Centrelink requires acting within a 7-day window of homelessness, even if technically couch-surfing.

• Legal name and gender changes in Australia are simpler and cheaper than many people expect.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 Suppressed emotions, dangerous difference

04:45 A waistcoat and a cousin's fear

09:51 The day I decided to leave

11:46 A new phone number, a new name

15:34 Safety took months, not days

18:14 The friends who showed up

23:31 I didn't want to die as the wrong person

25:25 The everyday miracles: friends over, plans made

32:43 Gender-affirming care that doesn't exist yet

36:04 Verbal abuse counts as abuse

37:15 Five years on, still building

39:39 What comes next

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH US

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes

📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes

💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #PrideInStories #QueerStories #LGBT #MentalHealth #FamilyTrauma #Finding Safety #Gender Identity #Cult Survivor

———

Show notes by Kintsugi Studio · Approved by Kintsugi Studio | Australian English

Mentioned in this episode:

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

The mantra that rewired my life

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses abuse & exploitation and trauma & healing, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone — help is available:

• Blue Knot Foundation (complex trauma): 1300 657 380 · blueknot.org.au

• 1800RESPECT (family, domestic & sexual violence): 1800 737 732 · 1800respect.org.au

• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au

Mindi grew up in a volatile Kansas household marked by physical abuse, sexual abuse, and neglect. Her sensitive nature made her a target; she survived through perfectionism and people-pleasing, earning her way to advanced degrees and professional success. But at 18, chronic pain began. Over decades, it worsened into debilitating illness that no traditional doctor could diagnose or treat. Twelve years ago, facing complete breakdown, she heard a podcast phrase that shifted everything: what if this is happening for you, not to you? She began using a mantra, "perfect health, healing now," which aligned her with a non-traditional healer. That single tool opened her eyes to the power of mindset and led her down years of somatic work, energy sessions, and inner child healing. Now, she works with trauma survivors, trains therapists, and finds profound joy in offering the support and community she never had.

Mindi Kessler is a trauma therapist, coach, and author of Cycle Breaker: A Guide for Transcending Childhood Trauma. Based in the US, she blends somatic work, energy healing, and embodied transformation to help clients unwind patterns rooted in childhood abuse. She trains other practitioners in her integrated approach and facilitates retreats and group healing circles.

In this Kintsugi Heroes conversation with John Milham, Mindi shares the story behind the moments below.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 Introduction and welcome

03:30 What healing really requires

06:42 How childhood trauma wires into adulthood

10:32 The one person who changed everything

13:39 Growing up in an unsafe home

17:29 The survival strategies that saved her

20:38 Understanding her parents' unhealed wounds

27:51 Where anger lives and how to release it

35:19 The friends who disappeared

45:47 The breakdown that became a breakthrough

46:14 The mantra that rewired everything

51:53 What life looks like now

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Mindi Kessler's website: mindikessler.com

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH US

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes

📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes

💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #GoldInTheCracks #CycleBreaker #TraumaHealing #ChildhoodTrauma #SomaticTherapy #MentalHealthMatters #HealingJourney #InnerChild #EnergyHealing

Mentioned in this episode:

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses addiction & recovery and mental health & wellbeing, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone — help is available:

• SMART Recovery Australia (addiction): smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au

• ReachOut: au.reachout.com

• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au

Melanie grew up in a loving, faith-based family with early exposure to addiction through her grandfather and mental health challenges through her sister. After 10 years in the Air Force, she entered a relationship with Rob, a man caught between his party lifestyle and his desire to be a family man. When their son Hayden was born, the pressure fractured Rob. He drank heavily, became emotionally absent, and refused professional help. Melanie wrote three letters spelling out the reality he faced, each clearer than the last. When she finally withdrew her support to force him toward help, he broke down. He moved closer to his family for better support, and they became closer friends apart than together. She prepared her young son for the possibility of losing his father. Rob died on a bender less than a week after their last conversation. Melanie now speaks about processing rage and grief safely, accepting what she cannot control, and the cost of loving someone through addiction.

Melanie Marshall is a leadership executive, author of Adaptive Excellence, and former Air Force intelligence analyst. She spent a decade as a reality partner to her partner Rob, navigating his addiction and mental health crisis while protecting her two children, until his death by overdose.

In this Grit Diaries conversation with Mon & Mazz, Melanie shares the story behind the moments below.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 Reality partner, not carer

04:05 Growing up in faith, seeing addiction close

08:12 Her sister's crisis, learning where to draw the line

16:23 Exam anxiety to Air Force service

24:39 Meeting Rob, naming what needed to change

31:45 Becoming a parent, watching him fracture

36:37 Coming home to find him paralytic on the couch

39:29 Writing three letters that forced the truth

43:01 His breakdown, her moment of knowing

46:50 Telling Hayden his father could die

47:45 His final thank you, her last wish for him

49:29 Rage, grief, and the validity of everything unsaid

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Lifeline Australia: https://www.lifeline.org.au

Carers Australia: https://www.carersaustralia.com.au

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH US

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes

📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes

💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #GritDiaries #AddictionAndMentalHealth #CarerWellness #FamilyResilience #BoundariesInLove #ProcessingGrief #RealityPartner

Mentioned in this episode:

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

Kintsugi Heroes

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

What I do while I can walk

Alyssa grew up in a Cambodian Australian family shaped by her parents' escape from genocide. In high school, she learned her father and sister carried the spinocerebellar ataxia gene. After years of uncertainty, she found courage to test for the gene herself through a partner's unconditional support in Turkey, only to learn she did not carry it. The relief turned to guilt watching her sister's mobility decline. Now, as an NDIS plan nominee and researcher, Alyssa confronts the gap between what her family inherited-duty, sacrifice, resilience-and what she wants to change. She channels that tension into work on inclusive employment and deliberate choices about her own future.

Alyssa Chhim-Michelle is a Cambodian Australian researcher, NDIS plan nominee, and PhD candidate studying neurodivergent employment. Born in Melbourne to parents who fled the Cambodian genocide, she navigates dual cultural obligations while managing her sister's progressive disability and her own family responsibilities.

In this Golden Threads conversation with Daniel Dougherty, Alyssa shares the story behind the moments below.

🎙️ IN THIS CONVERSATION:

• Duty to family is not guilt; it is how Cambodian culture frames love, but it can trap you in patterns you do not want to repeat.

• Genetic uncertainty creates impossible choices for young people about their future, love, and family planning.

• Disability reveals how much of 'normal life' is built on unstated physical assumptions; small breaches become life-changing crises.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 Welcome and introduction

02:34 Growing up in an immigrant household with cultural tensions

06:05 Family history of the Cambodian genocide, what her parents endured

14:39 Her dual role as NDIS plan nominee and caregiver for her father

16:51 Spinocerebellar ataxia explained, the diagnosis of her father and sister

22:02 Learning she does not carry the gene, guilt about her sister's reaction

28:16 Her sister's generosity before the disability worsened, shared travel memories

39:40 Challenges with paid support workers and intimate care

41:29 The guilt Alyssa carries and the day-to-day realities of caregiving

47:32 Finding silver linings and what disability has taught her

50:18 How to communicate and connect with her sister

57:49 Closing: reflection on how she and Daniel met, future conversations

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH US

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes

📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes

💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #GoldenThreads #DisabilityAndRehabilding #disability #caregiving #familyduty #geneticuncertainty #cambodianamerican #ndis #inclusion #mentalhealth

Mentioned in this episode:

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

Kintsugi Heroes

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

The story I had to share

⚠️ Content advisory: this episode discusses suicide, grief, which some listeners may find distressing.

If you need support, you're not alone — help is available:

• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 13 11 14 · lifeline.org.au

Sarah Rosse spent her career as a high-functioning professional in human services, confident in her ability to help others navigate mental health crises. In October 2023, her 16-year-old son attempted to take his life, shattering her sense of control and forcing her to confront the gap between her professional knowledge and her lived reality as a mother. The fracture triggered deep shame: she believed she had failed, that people saw her as a terrible mother. Through journaling, she moved from brain-dumping her pain to intentional reflection, eventually writing a memoir about identity, family, loss, and resilience. Today, Sarah speaks publicly about mental health, parenting, and authenticity, committed to 100 conversations over 12 months about the themes in her book. Her son received an ADHD diagnosis and ongoing support; their connection has deepened. Sarah has stopped dyeing her hair, begun public speaking despite being a self-described introvert, and embraced discomfort as the path to growth.

Sarah Rosse is a memoirist, journaling coach, and human services professional who lives in regional Victoria. After her 16-year-old son attempted suicide in October 2023, she began writing the story that became her first book, framed through the lens of kintsugi. She now works to help others find their voice through writing and lived experience.

In this Kintsugi Heroes conversation with John Milham, Sarah shares the story behind the moments below.

🎙️ IN THIS CONVERSATION:

• Shame thrives in silence; connection breaks it.

• Professional knowledge doesn't prepare you for your own crisis.

• Journaling moves from survival to meaning through intentionality.

• The mental health system fails without advocates.

• Discomfort signals the direction of growth.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 Stories that hold us together

01:45 What is a memoirist?

05:53 Journaling as a framework

10:57 The crisis: October 2023

14:04 Shame and the weight of silence

20:35 Presence over fixing

28:28 Professional knowledge meets lived experience

33:31 Navigating the mental health system

37:52 Embracing discomfort as growth

41:24 What I hope for my son

44:32 100 Conversations: a new mission

48:27 Sharing stories so others can hear them

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released weekly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH US

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes

📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes

💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #StoriesThatMatter #GoldenJoinery #MentalHealth #Motherhood #SuicidePrevention #MemoirWriting #ParentalSupport #AuthenticSelf #BreakingTheStigma

Mentioned in this episode:

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.