Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

Val Monroe, former beauty editor for O, The Oprah Magazine and writer of the popular Substack newsletter How Not to F*ck Up Your Face, and Body Relationship Coach Debbie Saroufim, chat with host Carmelita Tiu about how to navigate beauty culture.

We cover:

• The importance of diversifying what you see and media literacy
• The myth of “figuring it out” and having it all together
• Normalizing making informed choices
• Social media - the good, the bad, and how much time Debbie spends on it ;)
• The duality of our emotions - you can feel dislike something and that doesn't mean it needs change
• Awesome parting thought from Val about what real beauty is

To learn more about Debbie Saroufim, visit www.bodyrelationship.com , and follow her on Instagram @bodyrelationship_coach.  And check out her Parents Guide, for what NOT to say to your kids if you want them to have a health relationship with their bodies.

Want to feel happier about your appearance—especially as you age—you might like reading more about what Val has to say about it. Subscribe for free to How Not to F*ck Up Your Face at valeriemonroe.substack.com.

About Your Host, Carmelita / Cat / Millie Tiu

Mom, spouse, coach, podcaster, wordsmith, legal eagle.  Endlessly curious about how we can show up better for ourselves – because when we do that, we also show up better for our kids and those around us.  Visit carmelitatiu.com to learn more about Cat, and for info on 1:1 coaching, the mom collective, and her monthly newsletter.

Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

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Leave a 5-star review by clicking here, tap the white rectangle that says “Listen on Apple Podcasts”, scroll down till you see Ratings & Reviews, then tap 5 stars or  “Write a Review”.  You’ll forever have good karma and my gratitude!

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***Are you a dreamer, a bucket-list maker, a multi-hyphenate -- and a mom who's passionate about parenting with intention? If you're ready to step up and lead a legacy-worthy life, then coaching with me may be right for you. I offer 1:1 coaching packages, and in May 2023 I will be launching a moms collective for like-minded moms of girls and looking for founding members.

• Visit carmelitatiu.com to set up a complimentary consult/clarity chat with me!

What woman hasn’t disliked part of her face at some point?  My nose is too big. I don’t like my profile. My forehead is too big. I wish my lips were fuller. 

Val Monroe, former beauty editor for O, The Oprah Magazine and writer of the popular Substack newsletter How Not to F*ck Up Your Face, and Body Relationship Coach Debbie Saroufim, chat with host Carmelita Tiu about grappling with beauty standards, objectification, and how we can shift our perspectives as our bodies and faces change through our lives.

We cover:

• What objectification means
• Mirror meditation - what it is, why it works
• The roots of beauty standards and our dissatisfaction
• Sitting with discomfort
• Feeling beautiful vs. being beautiful

Today's Guests

To learn more about Debbie Saroufim, visit www.bodyrelationship.com and follow her on Instagram @bodyrelationship_coach.  And check out her Parents Guide, for what NOT to say to your kids if you want them to have a health relationship with their bodies.

Want to feel happier about your appearance—especially as you age—you might like reading more about what Val has to say about it. Subscribe for free to How Not to F*ck Up Your Face at valeriemonroe.substack.com. You can find her on Instagram at @thisisvalmonroe.

About Your Host, Carmelita / Cat / Millie Tiu

Mom, spouse, coach, podcaster, wordsmith, legal eagle.  Endlessly curious about how we can show up better for ourselves – because when we do that, we also show up better for our kids and those around us.  Visit carmelitatiu.com to learn more about Cat, and for info on 1:1 coaching, the mom collective, and her monthly newsletter.

Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

Love staying informed and inspired? Subscribe here: Apple, Spotify, Google. 

Leave a 5-star review on Apple by clicking here.  You’ll forever have good karma and my gratitude!

For more doses of information and inspiration:

• follow on Instagram @knowberaisethem
• sign up for our monthly newsletter
• visit knowberaisethem.com

AND - if you're a growth-oriented mom who wants to defy expectation and lead a legacy-worthy life, visit carmelitatiu.com to set up a 30 min complimentary coaching consult with...

What is equality? What is equity? What is gender equity? How can we embrace all of these?

In this episode of Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them, Annie Warshaw, co-founder of Mission Propelle and a gender justice professor at Roosevelt University, unpacks gender equity in her chat with host Carmelita Tiu.  

In this episode, Annie:

• Answers the question, "What is gender equity?"
• Explains how we can be aware of gender equity and encourage it
• Tells us the 3 things that will make her feel like she’s raised her sons successfully 
• Helps us reframe our beliefs about old-school etiquette so we can foster more equitable gender roles
• Talks about the importance of having a list of shared family values

To learn more about Annie Warshaw and her work:

• for equity consulting and coaching, visit missionpropelle.com, or follow @mission_propelle on Instagram
• for information about Youth Alliance Yoga, go to youthallianceyoga.com

Other references:

• International Women's Day

Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

Follow here: Apple, Spotify, Google -- and leave a review! New episodes drop every Tuesday (and sometimes in between). 

For more doses of information and inspiration: 

• follow @knowberaisethem on Instagram  
• Like the podcast on Facebook 
• sign up for our monthly newsletter 
• visit knowberaisethem.com for all things about this podcast, and
• visit carmelitatiu.com to learn more about how you can connect 1:1 with Cat or join a community of other mindful, growth-oriented moms of girls.

Resilience – we know we all want our kids to have it. But what is it really, and how do we foster it in our kids?

In this episode of Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them, Host Carmelita Tiu chats with Dr. Kate Lund, Psy.D., author of Bounce: Help Your Child Build Resilience and Thrive in School, Sports, and Life.  Dr. Kate shares her unique viewpoint on how to help our tweens and teens build resilience and provides various strategies for how we can equip our kids to thrive, through all of life’s ups and downs.

Listen to hear Dr. Kate share:

• How to define resilience
• What really listening to our kids looks like
• Tips on sharing struggles and normalizing challenge
• Why to focus on the process as opposed to the outcome
• How we’re wired to have negative thoughts, and how we can respond as parents

About this week’s guest

Kate struggled as a child with a medical condition called Hydrocephalus which made some of the typical activities of childhood challenging. Her parents' unwavering belief in their child built an inner resilience that led to a successful career and life despite her challenges.

She worked as a radio reporter while in college interviewing some notable figures such as Barbara Bush

and Ivan Lendl the number one tennis player in the world at the time. She was also a White House intern for President Bill Clinton. As a licensed, clinical psychologist, she has worked with major hospitals, schools, and hundreds of parents. Her international bestselling book Bounce: Help Your Child Build Resilience and Thrive in School, Sports, and Life is the ultimate guide to helping children build resilience and thrive in all areas of life.

Kate’s mission is to help parents bring out the best in their kids to create the leaders of our future.

She’s also launched a new podcast called “The Optimized Mind” - reflecting on what we need to think about in terms of being at our best. 

In This Episode:

• The Optimized Mind Podcast
• Connect with Dr. Kate Lund on LinkedIn
• Check out her course, The Seven Pillars of the Resilient Child  

About Your Host, Carmelita / Cat / Millie Tiu

Mom, spouse, coach, podcaster, wordsmith, legal eagle.  Endlessly curious about how we can show up better for ourselves – because when we do that, we also show up better for our kids and those around us.  Visit carmelitatiu.com to learn more about Cat, and for info on 1:1 coaching, the mom collective, and her monthly newsletter.

Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

Love staying informed and inspired? Subscribe here: Apple, Spotify, Google and leave a 5-star review -- I'd be forever grateful!

For more doses of information and inspiration:

• follow on Instagram @knowberaisethem
• sign up for our monthly newsletter
• visit knowberaisethem.com
• Visit carmelitatiu.com to set up a complimentary consult/clarity chat with me!

Want to support?  Buy me a coffee - help keep me caffeinated through the interviews, promotion, admin and editing (til the wee hours of the morning)!

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Body Image is an important topic to me because our relationship with our bodies and our body image is complex, especially for women and girls, and it lasts a lifetime.

The societal challenges to healthy body image don’t stop…and just like any relationship, having a healthy relationship with our bodies typically requires ongoing attention.  

My guest today, Pam Luk, is intimately familiar with how the world can make you feel uncomfortable in your skin, and what we can do about it. She’s passionate about body diversity and empowering kids to have a healthy body image.

Listen to hear:

• Why Pam started Ember & Ace
• The importance of clothes and activewear that fits plus sized kids
• How to talk with kids when they're struggling with their bodies
• What to add to your social media feeds
• How we sabotage our efforts to get our kids to believe that all bodies are good bodies
• Media literacy and how to navigate messaging

About Our Guest, Pam Luk

Pam Luk is the founder of Ember & Ace, an athletic wear brand for plus size kids. Growing up playing sports, Pam learned firsthand the importance of finding active wear that fits. Not finding it is one of the main reasons kids quit sports. Ember & Ace launched their first five-piece essentials collection on February 2nd 2023. Visit emberandace.com to learn more.

To learn more about Pam and her work, connect with her here:

• Website: www.emberandace.com
• Instagram: @emberandace
• Linkedin:  https://www.linkedin.com/company/emberandace

• Debbie Saroufim - Ep 37 / Defying Diet Culture and Ep 38 / Tough Truths & Tips
• Emily Lauren Dick - Ep 24 / Body Positivity & Fat Phobia

About Your Host, Carmelita / Cat / Millie Tiu

Mom, spouse, coach, podcaster, wordsmith, legal eagle.  Endlessly curious about how we can show up better for ourselves – because when we do that, we also show up better for our kids and those around us.  Visit carmelitatiu.com to learn more about Cat, and for info on 1:1 coaching, the mom collective, and her monthly newsletter.

Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

Love staying informed and inspired? Subscribe here: Apple, Spotify, Google. 

Leave a 5-star review by clicking here, tap the white rectangle that says “Listen on Apple Podcasts”, scroll down till you see Ratings & Reviews, then tap 5 stars or  “Write a Review”.  You’ll forever have good karma and my gratitude!

For more doses of information and inspiration:

• follow on Instagram @knowberaisethem
• sign up for our monthly newsletter
• visit www.knowberaisethem.com

Want to support?  Buy me a coffee - help keep me caffeinated through the interviews, promotion, admin and editing (til the wee hours of the morning)!

Have you ever stopped to question the version of success that you may be pushing your kid to achieve?  Do you wonder if you’re over-involved in your tween or teen’s life, or not enough? Do you want your kids to get straight As and secretly get a thrill if they say “I think I want to go Stanford or Harvard or Yale”? And then you kind of feel anxious about the pressure and what that means for them?

As parents, we all have an internal compass that guides us as we raise our kids.  And it today's competitive world, it's more important than ever for parents to raise their kids with intentionality and grace.

Today’s guest, Cindy Muchnick, co-wrote the book, The Parent Compass: Navigating Your Teen’s Wellness and Academic Journey in Today’s Competitive World to help us navigate questions like this, and help us calibrate our parent compasses towards our kids’ wellbeing.

Listen to hear:

• The downsides of over-involved parenting
• When and how to nurture self-advocacy in your tweens and teens
• A tip for teen self-advocacy that Cindy’s never shared before!
• The ask that can forge new connections with your tween and teens
• What parents need to do before looking at how they're raising their kids

And more nuggets of wisdom!

About Our Guest, Cynthia Muchnick

Cindy, a graduate of Stanford University, is an expert in the college admission process: she got her start in admission offices before opening a private study skills and college counseling business in Southern California, which she ran for over fifteen years. As an Assistant Director of Admission for the Illinois Institute of Technology and the University of Chicago, she screened and reviewed over three thousand applications, interviewed prospective students, and served on the admission committee to evaluate borderline applicants and appeals cases. Then, as a private counselor, she helped hundreds of high school students navigate their academic journeys, including course selection, study skills, time management, and college applications. Since closing her private educational practice in 2011, Cindy has focused on public speaking to student, parent, school and business groups on a variety of education-related topics.

Over the course of her career, Cindy has written numerous books; The Parent Compass: Navigating Your Teen’s Wellness and Academic Journey in Today’s Competitive World (Familius/Workman/Hachette, 2020) is her tenth. Her other titles include The Best College Admission Essays (co-author, ARCO/Peterson’s, 1997), The Everything Guide to Study Skills: Strategies, Tips, and Tools You Need to Succeed in School (Simon& Schuster, 2011), Straight-A Study Skills (co-author, Simon& Schuster, 2012), The Everything College Checklist Book (Simon& Schuster, 2013), Writing Successful College Applications: It’s More than Just the Essay (Peterson’s Publishing, 2014), and four other books (Simon & Schuster and Penguin Random House). Her essays have appeared on Zibby Owens’ Moms Don’t Have Time To Write Medium platform, Your Teen Magazine, College Confidential, Raising Teens Today, The Los Angeles Times, and The Mom Experience, among others. 

Cindy holds a bachelor’s degree in Political Science and Art History from Stanford University and a master’s degree in Liberal Studies from Nova Southeastern University. Some of the other twists and turns in her multifaceted career include her stints as a campus tour guide and volunteer student coordinator for Stanford’s Office of Undergraduate Admission and a tenth-grade history teacher at The University School, in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. She is a professional speaker and panelist on the subjects of education, study skills, parenting, and mental health in tweens and teens and has been interviewed as an expert on dozens of talk shows, radio and news stations, podcasts, magazines, and newspapers. 

Cindy raised her family in Newport Beach, CA, and moved to Menlo Park, CA, in 2018, where she resides with her husband and is parent to two teens who are still at home, a college student, and a college graduate who is a teacher. For further information, or to inquire about a potential speaking engagement, feel free to visit her website at www.cynthiamuchnick.com. 

To learn more about Cindy and her work, connect with her here:

• Website: www.parentcompassbook.com
• Facebook: FB/TheParentCompass
• Instagram: @parentcompass

References in this Episode:

• The Parent Compass:  Navigating Your Teen’s Wellness and Academic Journey in Today’s Competitive World 

About Your Host, Carmelita / Cat / Millie Tiu

Mom, spouse, coach, podcaster, wordsmith, legal eagle.  Endlessly curious about how we can show up better for ourselves – because when we do that, we also show up better for our kids and those around us.  Visit carmelitatiu.com to learn more about Cat, and for info on 1:1 coaching, the mom collective, and her monthly newsletter.

Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

Love staying informed and inspired? Subscribe here: Apple, Spotify, Google. 

Leave a 5-star review by clicking here, tap the white rectangle that says “Listen on Apple Podcasts”, scroll down till you see Ratings & Reviews, then tap 5 stars or  “Write a Review”.  You’ll forever have good karma and my gratitude!

For more doses of information and inspiration:

• follow on Instagram @knowberaisethem
• sign up for our monthly newsletter
• visit www.knowberaisethem.com

Want to support?  Buy me a coffee - help keep me caffeinated through the interviews, promotion, admin and editing (til the wee hours of the morning)!

We’re still early in 2023 and if you’re like me, you’re still jazzed about goals, intentions, resolutions, etc.  Julie DeLucca-Collins joins host Carmelita Tiu to talk about the power of tiny habits, and how small habits can build into big results.

Listen to hear:

• How motivation doesn’t work when creating habits, and what does
• The recipe for creating tiny habits that stick
• The importance of celebrating even the small wins

About Our Guest

Julie DeLucca-Collins is the Founder and CEO of Go Confidently Services, the host of the popular Casa DeConfidence Podcast®, and her weekly Radio Show Confident You featured on a global talk radio network.  

As a Business and Life Strategist Coach, Julie helps women business owners launch or grow their businesses, get clients, be productive, and achieve their dreams. Julie helps her clients create simple habits to achieve goals and change their lives. 

Julie is a sought-after public speaker, author, trainer, and course creator. She is certified as a coach in Cognitive Behavioral Techniques, Holistic Coach, and Tiny Habits. She is also certified as a Social Emotional Learning Facilitator and has completed her 200-hour Yoga Teacher Certification. Julie enjoys helping her clients build mental fitness and improve their mindset to be at peace and improve peak performance. Julie is also the #1 best-selling author of the book Confident You (simple habits to live the life you've imagined). 

Julie has been honored with the "25 Most Powerful Minority Women in Business Award." by the Minority Enterprise Executive Council in Washington, DC. Julie and her Podcast co-host/producer husband Dan reside in Vernon, CT, with their fur babies, Yogi Bear, Junior, and Simba.

To learn more about Julie and her work, connect with her here:

• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Facebook
• Pinterest
• TikTok

References in this Episode:

• Tiny Habits Academy
• Tiny Habits - The Small Changes That Change Everything, by B.J. Fogg

About Your Host, Carmelita / Cat / Millie Tiu

Mom, spouse, coach, podcaster, wordsmith, legal eagle.  Endlessly curious about how we can show up better for ourselves – because when we do that, we also show up better for our kids and those around us.  Visit carmelitatiu.com to learn more about Cat, and for info on 1:1 coaching, the mom collective, and her monthly newsletter.

Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

Love staying informed and inspired? Subscribe here: Apple, Spotify, Google. 

Leave a 5-star review by clicking here, tap the white rectangle that says “Listen on Apple Podcasts”, scroll down till you see Ratings & Reviews, then tap 5 stars or  “Write a Review”.  You’ll forever have good karma and my gratitude!

For more doses of information and inspiration:

• follow on Instagram @knowberaisethem
• sign up for our monthly newsletter
• visit www.knowberaisethem.com

Want to support?  Buy me a coffee - help keep me caffeinated through the interviews, promotion, admin and editing (til the wee hours of the morning)!

Do you find yourself beating yourself up when you don't reach a goal...even if you have very good reasons for not attaining it? Are you saddled with "shoulds" and little perfectionist gremlin voices that make you feel like a failure whenever a goal isn't met?

In this episode, host Carmelita Tiu talks about how to cut through the negative self-talk and guilt by asking a key question -- "Am I living in alignment with my values?"

She also covers 4 alternatives to traditional "goals" -- perfect for times in your life when you need flexibility and a SMART goal feels too rigid:

• setting intentions
• "holding space"
• anti-goals
• no goals at all

***Check out the new website! Visit www.knowberaisethem.com***

Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

New episodes drop every week (and sometimes in between). Subscribe here: Apple, Spotify, Google. 

Leave a 5-star review by clicking here, tap the white rectangle that says “Listen on Apple Podcasts”, scroll down till you see Ratings & Reviews, then tap 5 stars or  “Write a Review”.  You’ll forever have good karma and my gratitude!

For more doses of information and inspiration:

• follow on Instagram @knowberaisethem
• sign up for our email list
• visit www.knowberaisethem.com

Want to support?  Buy me a coffee - help keep me caffeinated through the interviews, promotion, admin and late-night editing (coffee a must)!

(Encore of Episode 05)

“I’m Speaking.”  We all remember that magical, kick-ass Kamala Harris moment, right?  

We encourage our daughters to be assertive, share their stories, and speak up. But when we teach them that interrupting is impolite and rude, are we inadvertently undermining their ability to rightfully claim airtime -- even if they’re interrupted by someone else?  Will they choose politeness over being heard?  Will they be afraid to assert themselves in a lively discussion, afraid that they’ll offend? 

Listen to hear:

• The different social norms for boys and girls
• Disparities in how much men talk versus women in executive settings
• The 10 words every girl needs to learn, according to Soraya Chemaly
• Sample phrases illustrating how to interrupt
• What to tell your daughters to make them feel more comfortable with interrupting

Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

New episodes drop every week (and sometimes in between). Subscribe here: Apple, Spotify, Google. 

• Leave a 5-star review by clicking here, tap the white rectangle that says “Listen on Apple Podcasts”, scroll down till you see Ratings & Reviews, then tap 5 stars or  “Write a Review”.  You’ll forever have good karma and my gratitude!

For more doses of information and inspiration:

• follow on Instagram @knowberaisethem
• sign up for our monthly newsletter
• visit www.knowberaisethem.com

Want to support?  Buy me a coffee - help keep me caffeinated through the interviews, promotion, admin and editing (til the wee hours of the morning)!

Ever wish you had a magic spell that would guarantee your daughter turns into a brave and confident woman?  An “abracadabra” to ensure she grows up to be bold and powerful, in the best way?  

While sadly there’s no such thing, Wendy Snyder, Positive Parenting Teacher, Family Coach and founder of A Fresh Start Family, offers us some guidance in her article, "10 Important Phrases Parents Can Use to Empower Their Daughters.” 

The episode dives into how we can rephrase our words - how we can say things better, to better support our daughters.

1. I love you no matter what.
2. You are absolutely beautiful, inside and out.
3. You are strong, and you’ve got this! I’m here to support you.
4. How do you feel?
5. Gosh, I love my  ______ (body part)!  What is your favorite part of your body?
6. Oh yeah? Tell me more.
7. How can you be a light in this situation?
8. You have a strong desire to feel powerful and that is GOOD!
9. How will you be the change you want to see?
10. I am not ok with _____, or I’d like you to ______.

To learn more about Wendy and A Fresh Start Family, visit:

• Website:  www.freshstartfamilyonline.com
• Instagram: @freshstartwendy  
• Podcast: The Fresh Start Family Show 
• Got a strong-willed child? Check out the free guide, "How to Raise Strong Willed Kids With Integrity" and "10 Firm and Kind Phrases to Use When Your Child Isn't Listening."
• You can also enroll in a free class on power struggles - save your seat by visiting  www.freshstartfamilyonline.com/powerstrugglesclass . 

Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them

• Subscribe here - Apple, Spotify, Google. Episodes drop every week.
• Leave a 5-star review by clicking here; tap the white rectangle that says “Listen on Apple Podcasts” (if you're not in Podcasts already), scroll down till you see Ratings & Reviews, then tap 5 stars or  “Write a Review”.  You’ll forever have good karma and my gratitude!

For more doses of information and inspiration:

• follow on Instagram @knowberaisethem
• sign up for our monthly newsletter
• visit www.knowberaisethem.com

Want to support?  Buy me a coffee - help keep me caffeinated through the interviews, promotion, admin and editing (til the wee hours of the morning)!