Knowing Her Sexually

How do you and your wife deal with sexual intimacy during her period? J and Chris share some ideas to help you both get through that time of the month.

• Sexual Intimacy & Your Period: Tips for Wives | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Q&A with J: Sex During That Time of the Month? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• How Well Do You Know Her Cycle? | The Generous Husband
• 11 Best Period Tracker Apps For 2021, According to Ob-Gyns

Get to know your wife’s cycle.

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Your wife said no, not this time, and you’re feeling disappointed, frustrated, even lonely. What now? Well, since we want you gents to get a “yes” next time, today we’re talking about how your response to her rejection can impact her sexual interest.

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Resources

• The Power of "And" - The Forgiven Wife
• Climate Change - Honeycomb & Spice
• How the Sexually Disinterested Spouse Feels | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Are You Bitter in Your Marriage? So Was I. - Knowing Her Sexually

This Week's Takeaway

Begin to pay attention to how you respond when your wife says no. What are your words? Your facial expressions? Your actions?

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With Valentine's Day approaching, J and Chris share what wives tell us they want from their husbands on this holiday of love.

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• I always say that it’s “just another day” and I don’t want to do anything big, but then I find myself sad when he does what I say! (why am I like this?!) He says the same, but I always cave at the last minute and get him something.
• I think of it as a day to act out your love. Yes, we should be doing it every day but V-day is a day to pull out the stops!
• Valentine’s Day does not need to be a day of extravagant gifts for me. My husband giving me a thoughtful present makes me happy.
• I've told my husband that for any special occasion, I only want two things—not to have to cook and sex. Not sure if that would be anyone else's preference though!
• It's not really a joke when I say I want a clean house.
• It might seem a little odd, but if you are feeling rather distant and lacking intimacy, then a gift or date on Valentine’s Day can feel fraudulent and unwelcome.
• I think what a wife wants for Valentine's Day would depend on her love language. Sometimes the love language thing can be overdone but knowing what brings joy to your spouse is huge.
• I'd love something special and out of the ordinary.
• Him planning something special that he knows that I would enjoy is on the top of my list.
• I appreciate his thoughtfulness, his planning, his plotting to show me love, big or small.

• Do You Have to Celebrate Valentine's Day? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 6 Worst Things You Can Give for Valentine's Day | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 6: Does Choreplay Work?

Click here to download our list of the five tips, then ask your wife to mark which one is most important or to rank the five in order of importance. Do her top one and at least one more!

J and Chris answer a listener's question about whether it is common for a woman to not want any kind of touching or exploration of her vulva. We talk about some reasons a wife might want to avoid this kind of touch, and we share some ideas on what to do about it.

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Resources

• Beautiful | The Forgiven Wife
• He Can’t Really Be Happy with My Body – J’s guest post | The Forgiven Wife
• Let There Be Light: Out of the Zone – a reader’s guest post | The Forgiven Wife
• How Do You Like to Be Touched? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• How to Help Your Wife Get Naked | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• You Say Your Wife’s Attractive, She Says No. Now What? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Selected Georgia O'Keeffe Paintings

This Week's Takeaway

Ask your wife to help you understand why she doesn’t like to have her vulva touched.

It's the time of year when we think about rebuilding and renewing, even when it comes to sexuality. J and Chris talk about how you can reboot your sex life.

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Resources

• 11 Tips for Husbands | The Forgiven Wife
• Where All Marriages Should Start Improving Their Sex Lives | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• How to Talk about Sexual Problems with Your Spouse | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Launching the Conversation About Sex in Your Marriage (with Downloadable Sample Chapter of Pillow Talk) | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Resolution Week: "And Now for Something Completely Different..." | Hot, Holy & Humorous

This Week's Takeaway

Approach your wife with something you're going to change or do for her.

Visit our website: khsministry.com

How can you give your wife a gift that speaks to her heart? A great gift can create feelings of being seen and valued that encourage the trust and vulnerability she needs for sexual intimacy.

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Resources

• The Ultimate Gift List for Married Couples, 2020 Edition - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design by J. Parker ("Cultivating Romance" chapter has specifics on writing a love letter)
• 'Twas the Intimate Night Before Christmas: A Marriage Poem - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 7 Ways to Make the Most of Your Lingerie - The Forgiven Wife
• 2020 Gift Shopping Links - The Forgiven Wife
• Use Scent to Enhance Your Sex Life - The Forgiven Wife
• More Than Bacon - The Forgiven Wife

Note from Chris: In the episode I mentioned writing a sexy version of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Unfortunately, it was not on my blog but on a discussion forum that no longer exists and I no longer have a copy. However, you can get the original book at Amazon, as well as a fun Cookie Sutra book.

This Week's Takeaway

Give at least one gift that shows your wife you really see her and honor her for who she uniquely is.

Visit our website: khsministry.com

Many couples report that sex and intimacy don't happen as much during the holidays. How can you keep up or even increase intimacy with your wife this holiday season? We share ideas.

• 10 Intimate Things to Enjoy for Christmas - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• My Gift to You: Christmas Intimacy Playlist - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Bow-Dazzle! and 10 Other Ways to Keep Your Sex Life Alive During the Holidays - The Forgiven Wife
• Overwhelmed During the Holidays? The Forgiven Wife
• Weathering the Holiday Storm - The Forgiven Wife

Come up with something romantic to do with your wife. Bonus idea: Make a sexy Christmas playlist—and invite your wife to dance!

What happens at the end of a sexual encounter? Today we talk about what wives have to say about what happens after sex. Hint: It matters.

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Resources

• What Does Her Orgasm Mean?
• After the Lovin’: What Happens after Sex? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Does Sex Wake You Up or Make You Sleepy? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Praying Before, During, and After Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Love Languages Quiz

This Week's Takeaway

Do something more at the end of sex than you do now. If you know your wife's love language, try something that speaks love to her.

Visit our website: khsministry.com

How well do you know your wife’s body? Just because you’ve interacted with it a number of times, up close and personal, doesn’t mean you know all of its ins and outs. Today, we’re going to be talking about how women’s bodies and sexuality actually work—their anatomy and physiology.

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Resources

5 Sexually Sensitive Spots on Her Body You Should Know - Hot, Holy & Humorous (with a great animated video about the clitoris) Nature partner journals - Real-world menstrual cycle characteristics of more than 600,000 menstrual cycles and Table 1 No More Period, Period. - Hot, Holy & HumorousWhy Your Wife Needs Extra Lube ABC News – Female Orgasm May Be Tied to 'Rule of Thumb' Mega interesting – Napoleon Bonaparte's granddaughter's unique orgasm study Hormones and Behavior – Female Sexual Arousal: Genital Anatomy and Orgasm in Intercourse 21 Weird Things Men Don’t Know About The Female Body 17 Facts About Women's Bodies Men Probably Don't Know

This Week's Takeaway

Share our quiz with your wife and have fun checking out how some of this works for her body.

CLICK HERE FOR THE QUIZ.

Visit our website: khsministry.com

Most men love their wife’s chest. But what’s the best way to touch her there? Chris and fill-in host Julie Sibert of Intimacy in Marriage advise husbands what to do with a wife’s breasts.

J. Parker is one of the speakers, with 5 Steps to Better Sex.

• Rhythm Can Rock Her World
• Episode 13: The Timing of Sex
• Increasing Your Wife’s Sexual Pleasure – webinar
• Q&A with J: “What Are the 7 Erogenous Zones?” – Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 101 Words for Your Private Parts (But No Curse Words) (including breasts) – Hot, Holy & Humorous
• What about “Breast Sex”? – Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Sexually Delighting in a Wife’s Breasts: A Turn on for You and Your Spouse – Intimacy in Marriage
• A Wife’s Breasts Have History! – The Forgiven Wife
• Get Flashy! – The Forgiven Wife
• He Can’t Really Be Happy with My Body – J. Parker guest post on The Forgiven Wife
• Episode 78: Breasts and How They Impact Female Sexuality – For Christian Wives podcast

Set aside an amount of time to try different types of touch on your wife’s breasts and see how she responds.