Knowing Her Sexually

Today, we are not just two Christian wives, but are joined by guest Kevin A. Thompson to discuss his blog post, "I Wouldn't Sleep with You Either," and its great takeaways.

• I Wouldn't Sleep with You Either - Kevin A. Thompson
• Kevin's Full Website: kevinathompson.com
• Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work by Kevin A. Thompson
• Happily: 8 Commitments of Couples Who Laugh, Love & Last by Kevin A. Thompson
• Fearless Families: Building Brave Homes in an Uncertain World by Kevin A. Thompson
• Will Your Pastor Preach on Sex? | Hot, Holy & Humorous (with Kevin preaching on sex!)
• Happily Book Review: Contrarian Advice for a Great Marriage | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Would Your Spouse Say You're a Christian? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Are You Owed Sex in Marriage? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Why I Won't Just Tell Your Spouse to Have Sex with You Already | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 6: Does Choreplay Work? | Knowing Her Sexually
• The Worst Way to Get Laid | Knowing Her Sexually
• Friends, Partners, & Lovers: Great Resource (review) | The Forgiven Wife

Ask your wife this simple question: What are the times you feel most loved by me? Listen to what she says and start doing more of that.

Chris and J tackle a question some husbands have asked: "Why won't my wife engage in a specific sexual activity with me when she did with a previous boyfriend?"

Resources

• Your Wife’s Past - Knowing Her Sexually
• Entering Marriage with Sexual Baggage | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Why You Feel Worse Than He Does about the Premarital Sex | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Lessons Learned from Premarital Sex | The Forgiven Wife
• Transforming the Scars from a Premarital Past | The Forgiven Wife
• Do I Have To? | The Forgiven Wife

This Week's Takeaway

Pray for your wife to heal from her sexual baggage.

Visit our website: khsministry.com

Is sex painful for your wife? J and Chris talk about what causes pain and how you can help your wife deal with it.

• Episode 32: What Does Your Wife Need Before You Enter?
• Dealing with Vulvovaginal Atrophy without Hormones - The Forgiven Wife
• DIY Sex Swing - The Forgiven Wife
• When It Hurts: Maintaining Sexual Intimacy While Dealing with Pain - The Forgiven Wife
• Working Through Physical Pain in the Marriage Bed | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Having Sex When You Have a Disability | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Q&A with J: "Pain and UTIs Have Shut Down My Sex Life" | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Why Your Wife Needs Extra Lube
• Wedge pillows (affiliate link)
• Penis sleeve (affiliate link)
• Sex swings (affiliate link)

Ask your wife if she has experienced pain during intercourse.

How do you know when your wife is ready for your penis to enter her vagina? It may not be what you think. J and Chris clue you in on what to look for.

Resources

• Why woman are different from men and vice versa, by Amanda Gore
• Why Your Wife Needs Extra Lube - Knowing Her Sexually
• Let's Talk Lube | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Good Clean Love Almost Naked Organic Water-Based Personal Lubricant
• Sliquid Naturals – Silver Silicone Based Personal Lubricant
• Jo Classic Hybrid Personal Lubricant - Married Dance
• Coconut Oil (made for the kitchen but works great for sex!) includes affiliate links

This Week's Takeaway

Next time you and your wife make love, continue foreplay until she asks you to enter her.

Visit our website: khsministry.com

A woman's sexual interest is affected by everything else going on in her life, yet many overextend themselves so much that they don't have time or energy for sex. Chris is joined by Gaye Christmus from Calm.Healthy.Sexy. to explain why this happens and give husbands suggestions for how to create a change.

• Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• Where Do You Need to Say "No" to Say "Yes" to Your Marriage? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Don't Touch Me: I'm Busy! | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 5 Words Women Need to Learn to Say
• Husbands, How to Help Your Wife Feel Sexy Again
• How to Manage Your Family's Schedule this School Year
• 4 Simple Ways to Reduce Stress in Your Life and Marriage
• Calm. Healthy. Happy. - 17 Simple Ways to Slow Down, Feel Great, and Create Your Best Life as a Woman, Wife, and Mom

For overextending with outside responsibilities, make an agreement with your wife that before either of you takes on a new responsibility, you'll talk with each other about it.

For overextending herself at home, ask her what is causing her the most stress and offer to take on the responsibility for those things.

Quite a few emails and comments we receive express hurt and frustration about wives avoiding sex. In todays' episode, J and Chris talk about what wives should be doing—and we share some insight about what you can do to help.

• Your Husband's Hurt - The Forgiven Wife
• You Go First - The Forgiven Wife
• Why Is He Trying to Fix Sex When It's the Relationship That Is the Problem? - The Forgiven Wife
• Who Are You Praying to Change in Your Marriage? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Why I Won't Just Tell Your Spouse to Have Sex with You Already | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Sex Chat for Christian Wives

Write out the ways you think your wife might be hurting and pray about what you've noted.

It's a common question we receive from husbands: How can he get his wife to read resources about sexual intimacy? He knows it would help, but she's reluctant. What's a husband to do?

Resources

• The Magic Relationship Ratio, According to Science (Gottman Institute)
• The Generous Wife - a daily reminder to grow your marriage
• The Generous Husband | Daily rants on being a better husband
• CalmHealthySexy - Healthy ideas for your life and marriage
• Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples by J. Parker
• 11 Tips for Husbands - The Forgiven Wife
• The Power of One - The Forgiven Wife

This Week's Takeaway

Choose one of the ideas we shared within the episode, about approaching your wife with a resource, and put it into practice.

A listener asks about his wife not touching her vulva or his penis. J & Chris address possible reasons and ways to encourage a hesitant wife. Resources

• Episode 28: Male Anatomy - Sex Chat for Christian Wives
• Get to Know His Penis - The Forgiven Wife
• Q&A with J: How Can I Feel More Free Around His Naked Body? | Hot, Holy & Humorous

This Week's Takeaway

Explain to your wife how you view her vulva in its beauty and what it means to you.

Visit our website: khsministry.com

What makes you attractive, appealing, or even "hot" to your wife? It may not be what you expect.

• Helping Your Wife Balance Motherhood and Sexual Intimacy – Knowing Her Sexually
• Why Being a Good Father Turns Your Wife On | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• What’s So Great About Men? – Knowing Her Sexually
• Praying Together for Your Marriage | Hot, Holy & Humorous

Share with your wife something that you find attractive, and even sexually appealing, about her that is not a body part or sexual activity.

Both wives and intimacy experts often advise husbands to "take it slow" when it comes to sex. But what does it look like to go slow?

• The One Sex Tip I Give Husbands Over and Over | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Newsflash, Hubbies! She Loves Foreplay. | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Increasing Your Wife’s Sexual Pleasure – Webinar Replay
• Episode 13: The Timing of Sex
• Sexual Timing Matters

Go slow. You can use a timer or music to help you pace yourself.