Knowing Her Sexually

J and Chris talk about the many ways your wife's hormones can affect her sexual interest and her ability to respond and enjoy sex. If you've wondered about her monthly cycles or the impact of menopause, be sure to listen!

• 13 Things I Heard at a Sexual Wellness Class | The Forgiven Wife
• Dealing with Vulvovaginal Atrophy without Hormones | The Forgiven Wife
• Can Daily Arousal Help with Vulvovaginal Atrophy? | The Forgiven Wife
• 5 Tips for Choosing a Personal Lubricant | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• How Menopause Impacts Your Sex Life | Hot, Holy & Humorous

Ask your wife about how her hormones affect her, and then ask how you can help.

This episode was sponsored by Married Dance. Click on the image to shop with our affiliate link.

Yes, on a sex podcast, we're talking today about romance for your wife. Not only does romance keep your relationship emotionally intimate—it can create a better atmosphere for physical intimacy as well! So, should you bring her flowers? Tell her she's pretty? We address what counts as romance to a wife.

Resources

• August Is Romance Awareness Month - Hot, Holy & Humorous (with tips)
• Cultivating Romance and Awesome Sex in Marriage - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 50: How You Treat Her Children
• How Love Looks - The Forgiven Wife

This Week's Takeaway

Do something romantic for your wife.

Visit our website: khsministry.com

We're often asked how a husband can get a wife to go to therapy for their sexual intimacy. J and Chris discuss some ideas.

• Faithful Counseling - online therapy resource
• Have You Received Bad Marriage Counseling? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Healthy Marriages Start with Healthy People - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• The Power of One - The Forgiven Wife

Research counseling and/or marriage resources to see what's involved and what might interest your wife. Then share what you've found and invite her feedback.

This episode was sponsored by Married Dance. Click on the image to shop with our affiliate link.

other ways. What do wives think about these options?

• Why Doesn’t She Want to Give You Oral Sex? 8 Reasons That Are Not About You
• Why Doesn’t She Want to Give You Oral Sex? 5 Reasons That Are About You (and What You Can Do About Them)
• Maintaining Sexual Intimacy When Dealing with Pain | The Forgiven Wife
• Maintaining Sexual Intimacy When Sex Isn't Possible | Worthy Bible Studies (this post is a guest post written by Chris Taylor)
• Episode 33: When Sex Hurts Her

When intercourse cannot happen, ask your wife, "How would you like us to stay intimate during that time?" Have a conversation.

This episode was sponsored by Married Dance. Click on the image to shop with our affiliate link.

It can be fun and intimate to add something fresh and exciting to their marriage's sexual repertoire! But that desire can also come from another place: fear of missing out. Chris and J tackle the issue of sexual FOMO.

Resources

• Spicing Up Your Bedroom – Webinar Replay
• Q&A with J: Resources for Spicing Things Up in the Marriage Bed - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Episode 45: Help Your Wife Learn What She Likes in Bed
• Do I Have To? - The Forgiven Wife

This Week's Takeaway

Consider something you want to try in the bedroom, then dig deeper for the why. That is, ask why you want to do that new thing, answer the question, then ask "why?" again and again and again, until you reach the core reason. (Do it more than once to discover if you have more than one reason.) 

Visit our website: khsministry.com

Over and over, we've heard and experienced how the way a husband treats the wife's kids impacts her sexual interest. If you want to get into her bed, consider getting into her heart by caring for the ones she loves.

• Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's tea party with his daughter
• Why Being a Good Father Turns Your Wife On - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Helping Your Wife Balance Motherhood and Sexual Intimacy
• The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, Ph.D. and Nan Silver

Do something with or for a child. Depending on your circumstances, that could be your child, her child, or a child outside your family.

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.." – Ephesians 6:4

Research shows that men are far more likely to have an orgasm during sex than women are. This difference is referred to as the Orgasm Gap. J and Chris help you understand why this gap exists and how you can address it. Sponsor

Visit Married Dance online store Resources

• Webinar - Increasing Your Wife's Sexual Pleasure ($10)
• What Does Her Orgasm Mean?
• 3 Things Your Wife Wants You to Know About Her Sex Drive
• What Else Does Your Wife Want You to Know About Her Sex Drive?
• What Is the Orgasm Gap? | Forbes
• The Orgasm Gap: Simple Truth and Sexual Solutions | Psychology Today
• How to Close the Orgasm Gap, According to Sex Experts | Men's Health
• Bad Orgasm | The Forgiven Wife
• Why I Sometimes Don't Care about the Orgasm | Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Love Like a Woman | The Forgiven Wife
• These 3 Actions Could Bring You to Orgasm - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Q&A with J: "How Can I Orgasm with Penetration?" - Hot, Holy & Humorous

This Week's Takeaway

Read one (or more) of the articles listed above and think about how you can apply what you've learned in your own marriage. "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." – Romans 12:10

Resources

• What a Quickie Taught Us About Sexual Intimacy | The Forgiven Wife
• Your Husband's Libido May Not Be What You Think | The Forgiven Wife
• #1 Myth Christian Men Learned About Sex | Hot, Holy & Humorous (about desire being good)
• Sex Chat for Christian Wives Episode 12: Guy Talk – The Importance of Sex (Chris's interview of five husbands)
• Understanding Her Sex Drive – Webinar from Sex Chat for Christian Wives (only $5 for a limited time!)

This Week's Takeaway

Express to your wife what your sex drive feels like, emphasizing the emotional and intimate aspects of your desire for her.

Visit our website: khsministry.com

What if you had a sexual experience before marriage? How can you help your wife—especially if she was a virgin bride—deal with your past? We answer this listener question.

• Does Your Spouse Think about Previous Lovers? - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Why You Feel Worse Than He Does about the Premarital Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Entering Marriage with Sexual Baggage - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• Does Your Wife Get "Historical"? - KHS Ministry
• What Is Emotional Safety? (and What Does It Have to Do with Sex?) - KHS Ministry

Communicate to your wife, verbally or in writing, a message that conveys you only have eyes for her.

What goals do you have for sex in your marriage this year? Chris and J share three goals that could help awaken your wife's sexual desire.

Please pardon the lesser audio quality this time! J's input was not as good, because her schedule required her to record from a hotel room. ~smile~

Resources

• Webinar: Helping Your Wife Want to Have Sex
• Webinar: Increasing Your Wife's Sexual Pleasure
• Webinar: Spicing Up Your Bedroom
• Why Kissing Is So Intimate for Her
• Married Dance Christian Sex Toy Store (also lubricant, games, and more)
• Mentionables - model free lingerie shopping
• 3 Benefits to Playing a Bedroom Game - Hot, Holy & Humorous
• 5 Ways to Feel More Sensual – Simple Ideas for Busy Wives and Moms - Calm.Healthy.Sexy.
• Episode 91: How to Feel More Sensual - Sex Chat for Christian Wives

Our resource list includes affiliate links, meaning purchases made through our link cost to the same to you but provide us a small commission to help defer our costs.

Takeaway

Choose one of the three goals, write it down and/or put it on your calendar, and commit to following through.

Visit our website: khsministry.com