Recorded: 1/10/2020 / Published: 08/22/2021

- In this episode of The Krypt Mayfair, the chatroom, and I, are going to spice things up and talk about some of our favorite and least favorite BDSM toys.

- Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kuldrinskrypt.com.

- Rules to Love By: ( https://inclusionwoodworks.com )
1: Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
3: “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young

- “17 Best BDSM Toys to Spice Up Power Play” By Gina Vaynshteyn, Jan 7, 2021
- https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/17-best-bdsm-toys-spice-211421334.html
1: Lynx Satin Mask/Blindfold
2: Bordeaux & Chocolate Massage Candle
3: Sportsheets S&M Kinky Pinky Cuffs
4: Love Egg Vibrator
5: Dark Side of the Rainbow Kit
6: Spanking paddle
7: Bijoux Indiscrets MAZE Tassel Flogger
8: CalExotics Advanced Nipple Suckers
9: Spartacus Adjustable Tweezer Nipple Clamps
10: Black Feather Tickler Toy
11: Sportsheets Saffron Leash & Collar
12: Bondage Rope
13: Pipedream Fetish Fantasy Pleasure Tape
14: New Sensations Novelties Sinful Ball Gag
15: Under The Bed Restraint System
16: Master Series Obedience Extreme Sex Bench with Restraint Straps
17: Please Arousal Cream

- Mayfair’s LIst of Favorites:
1: Hair Pulling/Growling/Breathe Play (Primal)
2: Rope
3: Knives
4: Barehanded spanking apparently

- Least
1: Buffalo floggers
2: 12th gate
3: Thing Tommy made for you IDK name.

Important Links:
Full show notes: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/327
National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/Patreon
https://kuldrinskrypt.com/silentcommunication
https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/survey
https://kuldrinskrypt.com/TeePublic

Show Producers:
- Benefactor ($2,000/month):
- Pro Producer ($100/month): Buffalo_Max92
- Master Producer ($50/month):
- Executive Producer ($25/month) ShadowyFox, JunicornsAngel, Johnny Ferrell, Haru Webb, Rei Webb, slave Brendan, and Just_Call_Me_Ash
- Sr. Producers ($10/month): xEmeraldxWolfx, Roxiebear, Trouble113, Alexandria, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, babylove&Sir, SortOutTheKinks, Master Gabriel, Daddy Steve, Sir Pent, TwistedTink&JustTommy, ArtKitten, AuthorMistressBlackrose, UpstateScCouple, JohnathonHood, Crystal Force, xxxLilyChaosxxx, CJ, Cali, PerfectlyThick, Thorn, and Toredon
- Producers ($5/month): Kainsin, KJ, CIVLdisobedience, Hadea, Sir&Kitten, Raven, Raider69time, Atsila, PWB, MBRpoodle, LylacWine, Baddogbad, CozyCow, Arctic Foxglove, LilRedRose, Anomalous Mats, MsRedSin & AJRJ, Katnipmeow, WyldThyme&Deacon Sean, CheeryQuery, Ropestuff2, Rabbit, BurningRedHot, Sir Wolf ArchAngel, Subx13, CourtsDom, and Anthony
- Jr. Producers ($1/month): K-2SO, Jeremiah, Morgana13, Brodie, The Gabbing Girl Time Podcast, and MilkyMilf
Become a show producer: https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/Patreon

Vendors I know, like, trust, and use: (None of these are paid sponsors of the podcast.)
-

Recorded: 12/20/2020 / Published: 08/13/2021

Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kuldrinskrypt.com/contact

In this episode of The Krypt Mayfair, the chatroom, and I are going to dive into the little know behind the scenes aspect of the movie “Secretary” and hear what Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader had to say about BDSM and some unexpected onset aftercare needs.

- Rules to Love By: ( https://inclusionwoodworks.com )
1: Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
3: “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young

- “‘Secretary’: Maggie Gyllenhaal Once Broke Down on the Set After Her Infamous Spanking Scene With James Spader” By Laura Dorwart, December 14, 2020

- https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/secretary-maggie-gyllenhaal-once-broke-down-on-the-set-after-her-infamous-spanking-scene-with-james-spader.html/

- Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jake Gyllenhaal’s sister, had already appeared in movies like Mona Lisa Smile and Donnie Darko when she landed the lead role of Lee Holloway in the 2002 erotic dark comedy Secretary. But it was this starring role, alongside James Spader as E. Edward Grey (yes, another Mr. Grey!), that made then-24-year-old Gyllenhaal a breakout star.
Secretary – which was written by Erin Cressida Wilson, directed by Steven Shainberg, and based on a short story by Mary Gaitskill – became a critically-acclaimed cult classic after it premiered at the Sundance Film Festival. The film follows Lee, a shy secretary who was recently hospitalized for self-harm and depression, through her journey of self-discovery amid an intense relationship based around power exchange and BDSM practices with her boss (Mr. Grey, a dominant and eccentric attorney).

- Gyllenhaal said ‘Secretary’ allowed her to explore a hidden side of herself

- Spader thought the spanking scene was done tastefully and ‘with great care’

- Gyllenhaal once felt ‘overwhelmed’ after one take of the scene

Important Links:
Full show notes: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/326
National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/Patreon
https://kuldrinskrypt.com/silentcommunication
https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/survey
https://kuldrinskrypt.com/TeePublic

Show Producers:
- Benefactor ($2,000/month):
- Pro Producer ($100/month): Buffalo_Max92
- Master Producer ($50/month):
- Executive Producer ($25/month) ShadowyFox, JunicornsAngel, Johnny Ferrell, Haru Webb, Rei Webb, LylacWine, slave Brendan, and Just_Call_Me_Ash
- Sr. Producers ($10/month): xEmeraldxWolfx, Roxiebear, Trouble113, Alexandria, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, babylove&Sir, SortOutTheKinks, Master Gabriel, Daddy Steve, Sir Pent, TwistedTink&JustTommy, ArtKitten, AuthorMistressBlackrose, UpstateScCouple, JohnathonHood, Crystal Force, xxxLilyChaosxxx, CJ, Cali, PerfectlyThick, and Thorn
- Producers ($5/month): Kainsin, KJ, Hadea, Sir&Kitten, Raven, Raider69time, Bonneville, Atsila, PWB, MBRpoodle, Baddogbad, CozyCow, Jace, LilRedRose, Felix, Anomalous Mats, MsRedSin & AJRJ, Katnipmeow, WyldThyme&Deacon Sean,...

Recorded: 12/20/2020 / Published: 8/03/2021

In this episode of The Krypt Mayfair, the chatroom, and I are going to discuss the joys of adult movies and 2 articles about the latest screw-up by the adult website Pornhub.

Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kuldrinskrypt.com.

- Rules to Love By: ( https://inclusionwoodworks.com )
1: Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
3: “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young

- Why Pornhub Might Get Shut Down-S03E25

- “Pornhub removes most of its videos in effort to purge illegal content” By Noah Manskar, December 14, 2020 https://nypost.com/2020/12/14/pornhub-removes-millions-of-videos-in-illegal-content-purge/
Pornhub appears to have removed most of the smutty videos from its site, apparently taking down more than 10 million of them as part of its recent crackdown on illegal content.
The purge marked a massive shift in the porn site’s approach to content moderation amid pressure from

- “Ex-Pornhub moderator details ‘weird excuses’ to keep sick videos online” By Nicolas Vega, December 17, 2020 https://nypost.com/2020/12/17/ex-pornhub-moderator-details-weird-excuses-to-keep-videos-online/
A former Pornhub moderator has come forward to reveal the lax policies and unusual measures the smut site took to enable illegal and disturbing content to flourish.
In an interview with Business Insider, an ex-moderator for parent company MindGeek said

Important Links:
Full show notes: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/325
National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/Patreon
https://kuldrinskrypt.com/silentcommunication
https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/survey
https://kuldrinskrypt.com/TeePublic

Show Producers:
- Benefactor ($2,000/month):
- Pro Producer ($100/month): Buffalo_Max92
- Master Producer ($50/month):
- Executive Producer ($25/month) ShadowyFox, JunicornsAngel, Johnny Ferrell, Haru Webb, Rei Webb, LylacWine, slave Brendan, and Just_Call_Me_Ash
- Sr. Producers ($10/month): xEmeraldxWolfx, Roxiebear, Trouble113, Alexandria, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, babylove&Sir, SortOutTheKinks, Master Gabriel, Daddy Steve, Sir Pent, TwistedTink&JustTommy, ArtKitten, AuthorMistressBlackrose, UpstateScCouple, JohnathonHood, Crystal Force, xxxLilyChaosxxx, CJ, Cali, PerfectlyThick, and Thorn
- Producers ($5/month): Kainsin, KJ, Hadea, Sir&Kitten, Raven, Raider69time, Bonneville, Atsila, PWB, MBRpoodle, Baddogbad, CozyCow, Jace, LilRedRose, Felix, Anomalous Mats, MsRedSin & AJRJ, Katnipmeow, WyldThyme&Deacon Sean, CheeryQuery, Ropestuff2, Rabbit, BurningRedHot, Sir Wolf ArchAngel, CourtsDom, and Subx13
- Jr. Producers ($1/month): K-2SO, Jeremiah, Morgana13, Brodie, The Gabbing Girl Time Podcast, and MilkyMilf

Become a show producer: https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/Patreon

Vendors I know, like, trust, and use: (None of these are paid sponsors of the podcast.)
-

Recorded: 12/06/2020 / Published: 7/12/2020
Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kuldrinskrypt.com.

In this episode of The Krypt Mayfair, the chatroom, and I are going to discuss another article published by Cosmopolitan about BDSM switches

- Rules to Love By: ( https://inclusionwoodworks.com )
1: Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
3: “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young

- What is a BDSM Switch by Cosmo-S03E24
“Let's Discuss What You Need to Know About Being a BDSM Switch: It's like a lil bit of dominant + a lil bit of submissive” by Rachel Varina, Nov 20, 2020
- https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a34740571/what-is-a-switch-bdsm/
- “A top is simply someone who leads/guides the scene and the bottom is there to receive the experience,” explains Mistress Rogue, professional dominatrix and headmistress of The Dom House. (The dominant and submissive terms can also be used when there’s a power dynamic as well.) And while you might be most familiar with what a dominant and submissive do, there’s another term you might not be as familiar with: a switch. Let's dive deeper.

- What is a BDSM switch?

- How do you know if you're a switch?

- What are the perks of switching?

- Are there any downsides or risks?

- Now, here's how to try switching for the first time

Important Links:
Full show notes: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/324
National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/Patreon
https://kuldrinskrypt.com/silentcommunication
https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/survey
https://kuldrinskrypt.com/TeePublic

Show Producers:
- Benefactor ($2,000/month):
- Pro Producer ($100/month): Buffalo_Max92
- Master Producer ($50/month):
- Executive Producer ($25/month) ShadowyFox, JunicornsAngel, Johnny Ferrell, Haru Webb, Rei Webb, LylacWine, slave Brendan, and Just_Call_Me_Ash
- Sr. Producers ($10/month): xEmeraldxWolfx, Roxiebear, Trouble113, Alexandria, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, babylove&Sir, SortOutTheKinks, Master Gabriel, Daddy Steve, Sir Pent, TwistedTink&JustTommy, ArtKitten, AuthorMistressBlackrose, UpstateScCouple, JohnathonHood, Crystal Force, xxxLilyChaosxxx, CJ, Cali, PerfectlyThick, and Thorn
- Producers ($5/month): Kainsin, KJ, Hadea, Sir&Kitten, Raven, Raider69time, Bonneville, Atsila, PWB, MBRpoodle, Baddogbad, CozyCow, Jace, LilRedRose, Felix, Anomalous Mats, MsRedSin & AJRJ, Katnipmeow, WyldThyme&Deacon Sean, CheeryQuery, Ropestuff2, Rabbit, BurningRedHot, and ArchAngel
- Jr. Producers ($1/month): K-2SO, Jeremiah, Morgana13, Brodie, and The Gabbing Girl Time Podcast

Become a show producer: https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/Patreon
Vendors I know, like, trust, and use: (None of these are paid sponsors of the podcast.)
- http://bdsmcontracts.org Coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.
- http://whippingstripes.com - My personal maker of most things leather and paracord impact...

Recorded: 12/06/2020 / Published: 6/25/2021

Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kuldrinskrypt.com.

In this episode of The Krypt Mayfair, the chatroom, and I are going to talk about a letter of experience and caution sent in by a listener telling his personal recent experience with red flags and respecting boundaries.

- Rules to Love By: ( https://inclusionwoodworks.com )
1: Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
3: “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young

- Red Flags and Respecting Boundaries-S03E23
- A listener message titled “Want to Say Thank You” sent to me by CourtsDom69 on December 6, 2020.
- Kuldrin,
I wanted to take a minute and say thank you. I grew up ultra vanilla and found myself at age 44 in a relationship with a more experienced partner, OopsCourtDidIt exploring areas of sexuality I never knew existed.
Courtney had been expressing a desire for BDSM play and told me about her past experiences in the lifestyle. Being eager to please her, I began to do research and learn what I could. I was blown away by the amount of BDSM stuff available on the web (I have never watched 50 shades!)
Thankfully, I came across your Podcast which has been my predominant source of information.
Court and I discussed options for play and learning and were both interested in being dominated by a male and a female, I wanted to experience being a bottom/submissive to fully appreciate that aspect from a multisensory perspective.
We both had reached out to perspective dominant types to engage them in discussion to see if there was an interest, we found one person that was local. The relationship started by Courtney expressing our desires and my willingness to learn and this couple had a dominant husband who liked the idea.
We decided to meet for dinner one evening a couple of weeks ago to talk and exchange thoughts. The dominant's wife would not be joining the dinner and had started a new relationship with another dominant outside of their marriage, she wasn't able to connect to her husband as a complete submissive and wanted to explore this dynamic.
I expressed to Courtney that I still wanted to remain focused on what we initially discussed regarding both being dominated. Will, the dominant suggested another female play partner attend the dinner to see what developed.
In the first meeting with Will, he brought Courtney a dozen roses, an app-controlled vibrator, a handmade wooden paddle, and a professionally bound BDSM contract. The dinner went okay and I had good conversations with both Will and Sasha whom Will had invited.
Will appeared very confident in his domination experience and I could see Courtney was excited at this prospect, so I remained open-minded. Will also had an app that he used with Courtney called Obedience, complete with goals, rewards, and punishments, I found it very interesting and it helped me understand some of the beneficial psychology of a Dom/Sub dynamic and it helped me understand how to start, progress and end a scene.
I was not overly comfortable with the dynamic Will wanted with Courtney, I did remain open-minded and in good communication with Courtney. The first time I sat down to review the "contract" I physically got sick to my stomach. I hated just about everything that was in there and as much as I tried, I couldn't shake the feeling. I wrestled with exactly what I was feeling and knew what some of my reservations were and could only describe my feelings as "being put onto a rollercoaster that had previously crashed on me twice, killing two relationships".
I was married twice before...

Recorded: 11/29/2020 /  Published: 6/11/2021
In this episode of The Krypt Mayfair, the chatroom, and I are going to talk about four BDSM myths that simply are not true.
Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kuldrinskrypt.com.

- Rules to Love By: ( https://inclusionwoodworks.com )
1) Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
2) KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
3) “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young

- Four Myths About BDSM You Need to Stop Believing-S03E22

- Original Article by Canela López and Julia Naftulin Nov 16, 2020

-(https://www.insider.com/myths-about-bdsm-according-to-kink-specialists-2020-2?fbclid=IwAR3-QNCNawRCIv0MZe0pRZQknCIh3zg8UdBzSybgRIwdVGIzipz0beTxMjo)

Here are some of the biggest myths about BDSM, according to kink experts. 

1: Myth: People who like BDSM are sexual deviants and freaks.
- Whether they're the butt of the joke on shows like "Skins" or openly condemned by the general public, people who engage in BDSM, kink, and fetish sex have historically been seen as weird or grotesque.

2: Myth: People who like BDSM are traumatized.
- One of the most common misconceptions about BDSM and kink sex is that people who enjoy it must have been victims of childhood abuse or trauma. 

3: Myth: All BDSM has a dominatrix and a submissive.
- BDSM sexual and lifestyle practices vary greatly beyond the dominatrix and submissive dynamic, including humiliation (being mocked by degrading language), electroplay (being shocked by an electrical source), and gagging. 

4: Myth: BDSM is just about sex.
- While sexual dynamics are oftentimes between two people, people who engage in BDSM or fetish sex can form larger communities of support — making their sexual practices go beyond sex. 

5-30: Provided by listeners of the live show. https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/YouTube

Full show notes: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/322 
National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/Patreon 
https://kuldrinskrypt.com/silentcommunication 
https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/survey 
https://kuldrinskrypt.com/TeePublic 

Show Producers:
- Benefactor ($2,000/month): 
- Pro Producer ($100/month): Buffalo_Max92
- Master Producer ($50/month): 
- Executive Producer ($25/month) ShadowyFox, JunicornsAngel, Johnny Ferrell, Haru Webb, Rei Webb, LylacWine, and Brendan
- Sr. Producers ($10/month): Matt, xEmeraldxWolfx, Roxiebear, Trouble113, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, JayKayVoss, babylove&Sir, SortOutTheKinks, Master Gabriel, Raefe, Daddy Steve, Sir Pent, PurplePantera, Stella, TwistedTink&JustTommy, ArtKitten, AuthorMistressBlackrose, UpstateScCouple, JohnathonHood, Crystal Force, CJ, Cali, and PerfectlyThick
- Producers ($5/month): Kainsin, Alexandria, KJ, Hadea, Sir&Kitten, Raven, Raider69time, Bonneville, Atsila, PWB, MBRpoodle, Baddogbad, CozyCow, Jace, LilRedRose, Felix, Anomalous Mats, MsRedSin & AJRJ, Katnipmeow, and WyldThyme & Deacon Sean
- Jr. Producers ($1/month): K-2SO, Jeremiah, Morgana13, Rope Aficionado, and Brodie
Become a show producer:

Recorded: 11/22/2020 / Published: 5/24/2021
Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kuldrinskrypt.com.

In this episode of The Krypt Mayfair, the chatroom, and I are going to offer some advice on finding a new Dom, sub, or play partner.

- Rules to Love By: ( https://inclusionwoodworks.com )
1: Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
3: “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young

- Five Questions to ask a potential Dom/sub or Play Partner-S03E21
- Before knowing what you want in someone else you have to know yourself.
- What are the primary characteristics of my Dom/sub/play side?
- Respectfulness
- Playful
- Obedient
- Friendly
- Demanding
- Nurturing
- Sadistic
- Exhibition
- What characteristics do I want in a Dom/sub/play partner?
- Respect
- Obedience
- Thoughtfulness
- Communication
- Enjoys erotic humiliation/degradation
- Masochist
- Alpha sub
- Loyalty
- Community service
- What are characteristics in others that turn you off?
- Lack of communication
- Brats
- Doormat subs
- Arrogance

- Now that you have a little better understanding of yourself it’s time to find out a little more about that potential Dom/sub/play partner.
1: What kinds of scenes turn you on?
2: What characteristics do you find sexy in a Dom/sub/play partner?
3: What experience do you have in power exchange?
4: What gets you off about being submissive/Dominant/play partner?
5: What are things that you haven’t tried but would like to?

Important Links:
Full show notes: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/321
National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/Patreon
https://kuldrinskrypt.com/silentcommunication
https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/survey
https://kuldrinskrypt.com/TeePublic

Show Producers:
- Benefactor ($2,000/month):
- Pro Producer ($100/month): Buffalo_Max92
- Master Producer ($50/month):
- Executive Producer ($25/month) ShadowyFox, JunicornsAngel, Johnny Ferrell, Haru Webb, Rei Webb, LylacWine, and Brendan
- Sr. Producers ($10/month): Matt, xEmeraldxWolfx, Roxiebear, Trouble113, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, JayKayVoss, babylove&Sir, SortOutTheKinks, Master Gabriel, Raefe, Daddy Steve, Sir Pent, PurplePantera, Stella, TwistedTink&JustTommy, ArtKitten, AuthorMistressBlackrose, UpstateScCouple, JohnathonHood, Crystal Force, CJ, Cali, and PerfectlyThick
- Producers ($5/month): Kainsin, Alexandria, KJ, Hadea, Sir&Kitten, Raven, Raider69time, Bonneville, Atsila, PWB, MBRpoodle, Baddogbad, CozyCow, Jace, LilRedRose, Felix, Anomalous Mats, MsRedSin & AJRJ, Katnipmeow, and WyldThyme & Deacon Sean
- Jr. Producers ($1/month): K-2SO, Jeremiah, Morgana13, Rope Aficionado, and Brodie
Become a show producer: https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/Patreon

Vendors I know, like, trust, and use: (None of these are paid sponsors of the podcast.)
- http://bdsmcontracts.org Coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.
- http://whippingstripes.com - My...

Recorded: 11/08/2020 /  Published to Podcast: 5/17/2021

In this episode of The Krypt Mayfair and I have a very special guest on the show to talk about Trauma and the community. She is a Sr. Producer and the administrator of the Patreon producer’s only Discord Community, xEmeraldxWolfx!

Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kuldrinskrypt.com

Rules to Love By: ( https://inclusionwoodworks.com )
1: Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
3: “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young

- WARNING: Potential trigger risks ahead. Listen at your own risk.

- “Trauma and Community: Survivor Vs Victim Vs Acceptance-S03E20”
- By xEmeraldxWolfx https://fetlife.com/users/7081106/posts/6698137
- I recently attended a munch where part of the focus of conversation revolved around trauma. How we handle it, the mindset we have, where we can get stuck, and just the general approach different people have. I am sure we can all identify or are familiar with people in the various stages or mindsets of processing trauma. The stages were outlined as victim, survivor, and acceptance. Most of us can look back at our lives and recognize when we have experienced one mindset or another, but for some reason, some people never move on from one or another and get stuck there. I am not an expert and I don’t think I can relate to what was explained in a clear concise manner. That being said, this is my understanding of the 3 stages and I wanted to get them out, get some feedback, and see if others have anything to add.

- Why did you write this?
- Has there been any blowback from posting it?
- We’ve all experienced some level of trauma: death of a loved one, physical and/or emotional abuse, sexual assault, violation of limits, etc. 
- A: What do you think lies within those who are able to move past it and into acceptance?
- B: What do you think it is about the victim and survivor mentalities that cause people to get stuck here?
- Do you think it is possible for people to move forward if they have plateaued in one of those two mentalities?
What is your biggest piece of advice when talking with people that seem to “stuck” as a victim or as a survivor?

Important Links:
Full show notes: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/320 
National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/Patreon 
https://kuldrinskrypt.com/silentcommunication 
https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/survey 
https://kuldrinskrypt.com/TeePublic 

Show Producers:
-Benefactor ($2,000/month): 
-Pro Producer ($100/month): 
-Master Producer ($50/month): 
-Executive Producer ($25/month) ShadowyFox, JunicornsAngel, Johnny Ferrell, Haru Webb, Rei Webb, LylacWine, and Brendan
-Sr. Producers ($10/month): Matt, xEmeraldxWolfx, Roxiebear, Trouble113, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, JayKayVoss, babylove&Sir, SortOutTheKinks, Master Gabriel, Raefe, Daddy Steve, Sir Pent, PurplePantera, Stella, TwistedTink&JustTommy, ArtKitten, AuthorMistressBlackrose, UpstateScCouple, JohnathonHood, Crystal Force, Cali, and PerfectlyThick
-Producers ($5/month): Kainsin, Alexandria, KJ, Hadea, XxLilyXxX, Sir&Kitten, Raven, Raider69time, Bonneville, Atsila, PWB, MBRpoodle, Baddogbad, CozyCow, Jace,...

Recorded: 11/08/2020 /  Published: 05/06/2021

- Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kuldrinskrypt.com. 

- In this episode of The Krypt it's a Live Q&A with Kuldrin and Mayfair.

- Next week Mayfair and I have a very special guest on the show to talk about Trauma and the community. She is a Sr. Producer and the administrator of the Patreon producer’s only Discord Community, xEmeraldxWolfx!

Rules to Love By: ( https://inclusionwoodworks.com )
Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
“Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young

- “Narcissist Doms and sub and a Live Q&A-S03E19”

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Recorded: 11/01/2020
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In this episode of The Krypt Mayfair and I have a very educational article from Medium.com titled “She Said She Liked it Rough, I Had No Idea Where to Begin”. If you are a person that struggles with what your partner wants or if you are the one that wants it and they are the one struggling, this might be the thing that helps both of you understand it better.

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1: Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
3: “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young

- “She Said She Liked it Rough, I Had No Idea Where to Begin-S03E18”
By Liam MacAdam https://medium.com/sexography/she-said-she-liked-it-rough-979ce1dfaded

The other day, my wife Kate was talking to a friend on the phone about her record of falling for the wrong kind of man. She had a thing for bad boys, and was inevitably left heartbroken when they treated her badly.

“You should do what I did”, Kate said, “find a good boy and teach him how to be bad”.
I knew she was talking about me. Was that really what had transpired in our relationship?
When we first got together, Kate let me know that she liked it rough in the bedroom. This was a problem for me. I could do athletic — multiple angles, various speeds — but rough was not in my sexual vocabulary.

My whole being is about niceness. That doesn’t make me perfect, it just means that gentleness,
politeness and empathy are programmed into everything I do.
By the way, I’m not trying to suggest that these are virtues I should be praised for. I did not overcome a mean streak through hard work and therapy. Niceness is my innate disposition, my default mode.

When I asked Kate what she meant by liking it rough, she said that she wanted to be “thrown around the bed”. Apparently, it was one of the things she enjoyed most during an otherwise disappointing previous relationship.
I panicked inwardly. Some things that are asked of us we can immediately visualize doing well and with authenticity. For me, this was not one of those things.
I wasn’t sure what throwing someone around the bed would even look like. How could you make it something sexy, and not just naked wrestling? I had no idea.
As a pleaser, however, I was committed to giving it a try. The next time we had sex, when we had finished doing it from the front, I flipped Kate over so we could do it from behind. I did it with reckless abandon, with scant regard for her physical safety. Afterward, I asked how she liked it.
“Liked what?” she asked.

She hadn’t noticed. It was clear I was out of my depth. I asked her for help.
The next time we were naked in bed together, she suggested I spank her. Spanking I understood. She got up on her hands and knees and I started lightly slapping her upper thighs and bottom. I enjoyed the sound I could make when I struck her flesh just so with my right hand. I could tell she was getting into it by the moans coming from her lips.
“Harder”, she urged.
I spanked her with more and more force as she urged me on, harder than I would ever have felt comfortable doing without ...

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