LATE NIGHT LARGE

Hold on to your shirts as our brace of serial losers play fast and loose with loaded dice. It's not just about losing everything in games of chance though, as Aaron and Mike delve into the wider perspective of risk: is asking somebody out or quitting your job technically gambling? If so, perhaps even the devoutly sensible could stand to be a little more foolhardy, in pursuit of those true riches of fulfilment.

Art imitating life imitating art imitating life imitating...something. Join our two musclebound grotesques as they discuss the bane of most of our entertainment-addled lives. Of course, Big Brother was not watching us, we were watching it...and getting very bored and murderous in the process. But there's also the small matter of watching police and ambulance crews deal with hurt and angry, angry people, as well as watching the bedraggled and disreputable strive to become members of the cultured Establishment norm. What's not to like?

Nature is pretty awesome, as the dopey duo discover on surveying the breadth of their dominion from atop a mighty hill. Among the traumatic topics on the agenda are burying excrement and making a treasure map for your kids to track it down, going commando among friends, and learning what a compass is for.

Masks must be worn in this area. Our two whimpering underdogs get what's coming to them as they discuss the origins, progression and application of health and safety legislation. Is it an essential tool for worker protection, or an avenue for big compensation payouts? The two make much mirth at the misfortune of others, before coming to the conclusion that it's better for kids to be seriously injured than be denied a substandard bouncy castle.

Our two plump gooses become prize stool-pigeons under the merest hint of pressure, as they get weak on crime and the causes of crime. Tonight we learn of the vegan-based execution method known as hummuside, that prefixing or bookending 'murder' to everything is perhaps how American crime dramas gained their massive popularity, whether the conditions of society create a culture of crime, and bear witness to Mike's flawed defence of consumer culture through a bad car. Hang the jury! It'd be a felony to miss it.

Strap on the crash helmet, knee pads and adult nappy, as our two adrenaline junkies get more anecdotal than usual and delve into the palpitating prospect of extreme sports. Wrap yourself in tinfoil and climb onto the roof in a thunderstorm to listen on as a full variety of edgy pursuits are debated, while new classifications for extreme sports such as train baiting and drug dealing are pleaded for as Mike 'completes the circle'.

Stand and deliver! Mike asks for your money or your wife, as our two hard-shoulder playboys tailgate, kerb crawl and aquaplane all over the place in an effort to understand what the Romans ever did for us. Among the subjects steamrollered into submission are the different categories and purposes of roads, what vehicle excise duty was originally supposed to be for, and the dreaded pirates of the turnpike! A classic to enjoy stuck in any M25 logjam.

It's cudgels at dawn as our two weary warriors fight to decide who is rapier. Holding firearms as big as their entire arms, Mike and Aaron conspire to foist their remarkable weaponry on an unsuspecting public, to general hilarity and some repulsion. Hear an alternative history of conflict, wonder how many legitimate baseball players there are in the UK, all the while chuckling at the unmentioned 'ultimate prank' of setting landmines at a friend's front and back door, before firing teargas through their windows.

Our two titillating teamsters get out of their civvies and root deep in distinguished workwear and costume for this glorious show. Mike tentatively talks of his displeasure at Her Majesty's Pleasure and the Emergency room, Aaron promotes his upcoming business venture, and the both of them tiptoe around the notion of school uniforms.

Which topic is number one for bland pleasantries? Hilarious sunburn, panic-buying, and taking flares and huskies to the shop in the snow are among the anecdotes, while pelicans on the beach laugh at old people being blown over.