I sometimes think that I'm just a little fleck in a world that's always buzzing. But what I forget is that I'm not just a little fleck. I'm alittle fleck that is a catalyst and a cause for so many other things happening in other people life's. I'm a little fleck that is also buzzing.

I normally talk about how being anxious and allowing yourself to feel is a good thing, post the event or situation, as a lesson I have learnt. But today I talk about my current anxiousness about an event about to happen. Today was less of a lesson but more of just a night time talk. I hope today I gave you a shoulder to lean on as you slowly understand that you are not alone.

If only we spoke our feelings out aloud and said what we really wanted to, to the people that mean the most to us and the objects the we hold close to our heart. Wouldn't our life just seemingly be more brighter and the lives of others be saved.

Alittle hope can go a long way. When things go wrong and I feel like I've lost everything, I find hope amongst the words on an old page and the broken spine of a recently read book. I find hope in the most randomest of places that accumulates to give me the brightest light. Hope is a beautiful danger.

We are a mosaic of everyone we meet and everything we do. It all has an impact. You have an impact.

I personally need reassurance that I am enough, and that what I've done is enough too. And that isn't a bad, infact it's far from bad, getting help from someone else and allowing them to tell you that you are good, is fine. But I want yo work on telling myself that I am enough and that I am fine. I'm not there yet, but I will be.

I personally stay away from looking back at my past and what I did because it leads to unwanted thoughts that seem to constantly play in my mind. But a friend asked me today to look back at my past and instead of seeing what I did and didn't do, just to take a look at how far I had actually come. It was a new take on looking at the past for me and I was amazed, I have come far.

Guys it will be alright. Just carry on.

Today I did everything without guilt. I ate chocolate, rice and chicken without guilt. I got up and got dressed and wore new clothes without guilt. Without the guilt of knowing that I may not have had the most productive day. I just did it all without guilt - because life is too short and fast paced to restrict and feel guilty. Enjoy it, enjoy it all, who knows when you'll get it next.

I think that we are all so caught up in making others happy that we forget that our happiness matters too. I am guilty of this - always ! But I want to make a change, I want to do things because I want to. I want to see sunsets and learn how to make art. I want to overcome expectations that hold me down and be better - be me.