Law Bite

The holidays are a special time for everyone, criminals included.

But don't you dare f--- with Santa.

It's nice to know that in times of need, our legislators and agencies are responding with groundbreaking new regulations-- to help make our time in the bathroom more pleasurable.

Question: What's more important than the US Military?

Answer: Getting even with Twitter.

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Here's to all the judges, court staff, and lawyers that have to listen to nutjobs in the courtroom: just hang in there, it'll all be over after you retire.

The fraud lawsuits continue on-- but not for anyone who actually cares about facts. And what are facts, anyway, except a reflection of reality? And isn't reality irrelevant, your honor?

I rest my ridiculous case.

When you're the only lawyer left (of many) on the case, the question you have to ask yourself is: where is the exit, and how fast can I get there?

It's a drug free-for-all in this years election. Given the circumstances, is anyone that surprised?

What do leopards, Wayne Newton's monkey, lawnmowers, and the election have in common?

Answer: you get what you sign up for.

 Hippies, rejoice? Measure 109 on the Oregon ballot proposes to make psilocybins, aka mushrooms, legal for manufacture and administration.

If you think that listening to politics these days is cruel and unusual punishment, just be glad you're not an inmate in the Oklahoma County jail. Or a dad of small children.

Same thing.