In today’s video, I cut through the false claims that LGBTQ+ people are a threat to society, to children, or to social order.

None of these accusations have ever been true, and none of the predicted harms have ever come to pass.

Drawing on a powerful passage from Forging Queer Leaders by Bree Fram and Liz Cavallaro, I highlight how—time and again—every dire prediction made against us has been proven wrong, yet we still allow these voices to dominate public debate. It’s time to end that cycle.

My message is simple:

Stop apologizing, stop arguing, and stop giving lies and falsehoods air-time. The only response needed is clear and firm—you are wrong.

“Every time someone lends some weird, unfounded accusation or prediction of what it’s going to be like to allow LGBTQ people to exist in public they’ve been wrong. Every single time. All the predictions about what would happen if we allowed gay marriage, if we allowed gays in the military, if we allowed trans people in the military. Every prediction made by the church has been wrong. The world is still moving, the country is still here, nothing has happened. They’ve been wrong and guess what, we still allow them to make it. We still give it credence and we still allow people to debate us on national television. And none of the media, or even our politicians, have called it out. [They haven’t said] “You have been wrong. It’s false. It’s made up.” We aren’t doing that forcefully enough and we continue to allow them to have a stage where those things are viewed as true. And the only way that we are going to win is for us to start telling people that they’ve been wrong.”

“Truth isn’t about being right—it’s about staying open. Personal responsibility means questioning what you believe, why you believe it, and who it might harm or exclude.”

Here’s what I talk about in today’s video:

* We’re living in a time when lies are repeated so often they start to sound like truth—and too many people stop questioning.

* As ethical leaders, we carry a responsibility not just to speak truthfully, but to think critically, examine what we’ve been taught, and notice where our beliefs come from.

* Truth isn’t static. It’s shaped by experience, language, emotion, and perspective—which means we need intellectual calm and space to stay open, even when challenged.

* We don’t have to agree with one another to recognize each other’s dignity. But when belief systems exclude others from humanity, that’s when our leadership must intervene.

* The question isn’t just “Is this true?” but also, “Who does this truth serve—and who does it silence or erase?”

“If your truth disconnects you from others or denies their dignity, it’s not leadership—it’s ideology. Ethical leadership asks: Does this belief create understanding, or does it create separation?”

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Have you been questioning what you believe to be right and how to take a firm stand for your truth?

If what once made sense now feels “unconvincing,” the Integrity Call is a 75-minute coaching session to help you slow down, examine your beliefs, and take personal responsibility for what you stand for and why.

This is not about being right, it’s about thinking for yourself, and without defaulting to what you were taught you were supposed to be and do.

You’ll leave our call with conviction and a refined connection to what’s true for you so you can lead with clarity, courage, and respect for others in this challenging era of deception.

DM or comment “INTEGRITY” and I’ll send the details and booking link.

Here’s a summary of what I talk about in today’s video:

* Consistency in self-care, not intensity, has been the real turning point for my peace of mind and emotional clarity.

* Like all of us, I experience stress, tension, and overwhelm. How I respond determines how I lead.

* Anxiety (in the everyday sense) can be lessened through two essential forms of self-care: physical and mental. These are foundational to calm and ethical leadership.

* Physical self-care means: move your body, break a sweat, and protect your health. This is not about how hard you train, but about how consistently you show up for yourself.

* Mental self-care means: quality attention, emotional regulation, and presence. Whether that’s through meditation, journaling, or time with someone (or something) you love, what matters is undistracted connection.

* Self-care isn’t selfish: it’s an act of self-respect. And self-respect is an ethical responsibility, especially when others are looking to you for guidance, leadership, or wisdom.

* You can’t lead well if you’re disconnected from your body.

Ask yourself:

* Do you go to bed with the wheels spinning in your brain? Do you get up and think, “Holy f**k, I’ve got all this s**t to do today”?

* Are you constantly angry, irritable, and stressed?

* Do you consistently prioritize your physical and mental health, or do you more often sacrifice it for something that feels more urgent and important?

On a scale of 1 to 10—with 10 being “I’m fully on top of this” and 1 being “This is exactly the problem I’ve been ignoring”—where are you today in caring for your mind and body as a leader with integrity?

Drop your number in the comments or share one way you’re committing to care for yourself this week.

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In today’s video, I explore what it means to lead with queer integrity, without performing, posturing, or hiding. I share how early survival strategies can shape our leadership choices, and why it matters to lead from who you truly are, not just who you’ve learned (or programmed) to be.

If you’ve ever felt the tension between visibility and self-protection, or wondered how your queerness fits into your leadership, this video is for you.

If you’re ready to lead from who you are, not who you’ve needed to be, Lead with Queer Integrity, provides the clarity, guidance, and structure to make that shift.

Thanks for reading The Queer Integrity Dispatch! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

In this video, I reflect on a conversation with a former client, and my own leadership missteps, to explore how feeling well is not only personal, but strategic.

What you’ll hear me talk about:

Reframing leadership around well-being

* If you don’t feel well, you can’t lead well; what if wellness was your most strategic decision?

* The seductive nature of anger, reactivity, and exasperation (and how I got stuck in it).

* How feeling well is often more difficult, but also more sustainable, than outrage.

Choosing regulation over reaction

* Why the ability to respond (not react) is essential for leading with integrity.

* How nervous system dysregulation can make you seem unavailable, unapproachable, or even unsafe to others.

* The physiological toll of chronic anger, frustration, and over-identification with advocacy.

Self-mastery and the Tao

* Reflections on Tao Te Ching Chapter 23: “Violent winds don’t last all morning.”

* The importance of restoring inner calm and harmony by following nature’s way.

* Why we need to stop equating burnout with commitment.

The clarity of choosing one thing

* Why trying to fix everything dilutes your energy and exhausts your humanity.

* The case for focusing your leadership on the one thing that matters most.

* Why clarity and equanimity create more ethical, lasting change than urgency ever could.

We’re living in a moment that demands strong, ethical leadership—but not at the cost of your well-being. Let’s rethink what kind of leadership truly sustains change.

Feeling ready to lead from a place of clarity, courage, and integrity?

If taking care of how you feel has given you room to lead more powerfully, Lead with Queer Integrity helps you embed that freedom into every part of your leadership—your values, your voice, your strategy.

Discover how this deep, ethical approach can help you lead well—without compromising who you are.

Thanks for reading The Queer Integrity Dispatch! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

A timely message of courage and conviction.

Your wisdom, leadership, guidance—and queerness—are exactly what someone needs right now—so don’t hold back!

Thanks for reading The Queer Integrity Dispatch! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

In today’s video, I talk about the difference between positive and negative freedom and why your leadership, creativity, and peace of mind all depend on the kind of freedom you pursue.

I reflect on the phrase “We’re all the same, yet different,” and challenge the idea that sameness is the foundation of shared humanity. From a queer leadership lens, I explore what it means to express yourself freely, how suppression shows up both externally and internally, and why self-expression is not just personal—it’s political.

I also unpack the concept of freedom in my coaching work: how we can define it for ourselves, why it must be relational (not just individual), and what happens when we unconsciously participate in our own silencing.

What kind of freedoms are you building your leadership around and who does it serve?

A note about the two types of freedom.

When I refer to positive and negative freedom, I’m basing my ideas on Douglas Giles’ article on Medium, Does Anyone Understand What “Freedom” Means?.

Giles explains,

“The most common mistake that people make is conflating the two types of freedom. The second most common mistake is to focus on only one type and neglect the other. There are two different types of freedoms, and many different and overlapping manifestations of freedoms in life.

Negative freedoms—These include what we are free from—restrictions and coercive forces like bullying and intimidation.

Positive freedoms—These include what we are free to do—having the ability to act upon one’s free will.”

Want a unique space to reflect, ask questions, and grow alongside other LGBTQ+ leaders?

Join Lead with Queer Integrity, my private group for change-makers who are done with compromising their freedom and ready to lead with clarity, courage, and conviction for the greater good.

It’s free, and it’s where I share resources, prompts, and community support for values-aligned leadership for 2SLGBTQ+ change-makers.

Thanks for reading The Queer Integrity Dispatch! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Every time you stand up for what's right, thinking critically, leading with integrity, and cultivating dignity, you create real change and advance equity for our common humanity.

However, this is most often when you will likely face criticism for your beliefs and values.

What’s your usual reaction when someone disagrees with something you've said or done?

How we feel in relation to what we perceive we're doing well contrasted with how others perceive what we're doing is an interesting tightrope to navigate.

In today’s video, I make reference to something Adam Grant wrote:

“People who can't handle criticism are unfit to lead.”

What does that mean exactly?

More importantly, do you believe that’s true?

Watch todays video for my discourse about this idea see my last article to discover where you stand in your leadership efficacy:

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Your wisdom, leadership, and guidance are precisely what someone needs right now.

If you're struggling with criticism or challenged to stand up for what you believe is right, let's meet for a strategy session to uncover what's holding you back — and release the brakes on your path to becoming an influential and impactful leader.

My message for you today is simple:

Don’t be afraid to fuck up.

Right now, it feels like everything is falling apart.

The world is in turmoil—politically, socially, and globally. It seems like we’re on the edge of World War III or civil war. Protests are happening everywhere, yet the mainstream media barely covers them. You might find glimpses on Instagram or Facebook—if the algorithm hasn’t buried them.

The "T" is being erased from LGBTQ+ identities. People are being digitally erased, which is a dangerous step toward something even worse.

But here’s the thing: The world isn’t “fucked up.” The world is as it is.

When we say everything is broken, that’s a judgment. It means we’re comparing our current reality to what we wish it could be. But labeling everything as "fucked up" can also be an admission of helplessness—a choice not to act.

Instead, a more powerful, community-serving approach is to ask: What can I do? What small, simple step can I take? Who can I support? What action can I get underway?

Because right now is the moment. If you feel things aren’t as they should be, it’s time to stand up for what you believe is right—to protect what you don’t want fucked with.

This isn’t about clinging to the status quo, rigid traditions, or what’s considered "normal."

As a gay man, as a queer-thinking human being, I fight for a world rooted in inclusivity, acceptance, and dignity for all—without compromise. I don’t want to go back to how things were. I want to ensure that basic human rights and freedoms remain protected.

Every individual should have the right to express who they are without being told, "You can’t call yourself 'they'" or "You can’t call yourself 'he' when you were assigned female at birth."

No one should dictate how we define ourselves—just as no one can tell me my name isn’t Darren.

Last night, I spoke with a former client. He told me, "I want to be creative. I want to do things that bring me joy and inspiration, rather than just reacting to all the disruption around me." And that’s exactly what’s happening right now. We’re being bombarded with crisis after crisis, forced into constant reaction mode, distracted from what we truly want to create and contribute.

That’s what’s really fucked up.

Those in power—whether in government or organizations that follow the Trump regime to stay in its good graces—are making rash decisions. These decisions will have devastating consequences for the livelihoods, freedoms, and even lives of people who don’t fit within their narrow definition of "normal."

But let’s be clear: There is no norm.

Norms are illusions—social constructs created to make people feel safe and accepted within a community. But just because another community looks different or functions differently from our own doesn’t mean they deserve any less dignity, respect, or freedom.

So, let me say it again: Don’t be afraid to fuck up right now.

Stand up for what you believe in. Stand up for what shouldn’t be fucked with.

I’ve made a few mistakes recently—nothing catastrophic, but enough to make me pause. I wrote something I wish I hadn’t. But that mistake came from a place of urgency—a need to get this message out. And that’s what I hope to inspire in you today.

If you’re someone who wants to make a difference, whether by leading from the front (on the same level with others, not above them) or by supporting those making change, now is the time to act. The world doesn’t need more division, polarization, or discord—it needs people willing to step up, speak out, and stand for common humanity.

What’s the simplest step you can take to get involved in change?

Share your thoughts below—I’d love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading The Changemaker’s Compass: Guiding Human-Hearted Leaders! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

In this episode of The Changemaker’s Compass, I reflect on the incoming president in the United States, and the recent changes to Meta’s platforms, including the elimination of fact-checking and shifts in content moderation.

These changes have sparked significant debate and raised challenging questions for leaders and change makers about how to navigate social media.

This episode challenges us to consider: How can we, as leaders and changemakers, continue to make an impact in increasingly hostile online spaces? Is it possible to cultivate meaningful change without sacrificing our mental health or values?

Thanks for reading The Changemaker’s Compass: Guiding Human-Hearted Leaders! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

Here’s what I explore in this episode:

* Meta’s Content Moderation Changes: What the elimination of fact-checking means for social media dynamics, including the potential rise of misinformation and polarization.

* The Debate Over Community Moderation: Could these changes empower communities to take a stand and moderate content effectively where companies have struggled?

* The Dilemma: Stay or Leave?: Should we abandon platforms becoming increasingly toxic, or stay and engage with those willing to have meaningful conversations? What are the risks of surrendering these spaces to voices that aim to silence or marginalize others.

* The Growing Challenges of Social Media: How algorithmic changes may amplify polarizing content or provoke discomfort and hostility, and the reality of increased arguments, targeted attacks, and the erosion of respectful dialogue.

* The Impact on Leaders: Why outspoken leaders face more challenges than others, and the importance of standing firm in your values to support your community and maintain a presence for those who look to you for guidance.

* Finding the Balance: How to navigate these platforms while protecting your well-being, so that you can lead with dignity, respect, and truth amidst growing tensions online.

Social networks may not be the most friendly right now.

The algorithm will prioritize what triggers you and what’s trending long before you get to see my content—if at all.

However, your email address is the most effective way to get my human-hearted leadership content the instant it’s published.

I invite you to subscribe to my newsletter for meaningful insights and guidance to cultivate dignity and equity as ethical changemakers and compassionate leaders—determined to make a transformational difference in the world for our common humanity.

Articles mentioned in today’s episode:

* What to Do When You’re Confused, Frustrated, and Doubt Your Leadership Abilities: Why self-care is the key to inspired leadership and meaningful change.

* In Defiance by Celeste Trianon

* Don’t Mourn the Fact-Checkers by Jacob Mchangama

* Why I remain hopeful about America by Robert Reich

* Meta’s policy changes