In 2009 I packed up the family (Eva, Makaiylah and I at the time) and we headed back to Washington state.
I had been with a company for about 4 years that had recently opened a location in downtown Seattle and applied for a transfer.
I took the 1st job available because it was time to come back home to family and friends.
Unfortunately, that job was an overnight shift that had me getting home at around 8am, walking in the door as my daughter was getting up for the day.
As great as it was to see her first thing in when I got home, it was a struggle to get sleep as well as spend quality time with her.
Both sleep and quality time were suffering, as was my health. Graveyard isn’t just a clever name.
Anyone who has worked the shift knows the struggle, and if you currently work it… kudos to you.
After about 3 months a position became available in another department, giving me an exit strategy from my current position.
The trouble was, this company had a rule that you must work 6 months in your current position before applying for a transfer.
Knowing there had been exceptions in the past I decided to pursue it, but it wasn't going to be easy.
While sitting with the HR director, I began to make my case. Letting him know that I was willing to wait until I had a replacement and that I would train them before moving on to the new department.
I followed up by explaining that I had been sleeping on the couch at my friend’s house when I got off work because I didn’t want my daughter to think I was ignoring her as I slept during the day.
His response, “well, she just has to understand that it is time for Daddy to sleep”.
In my head I screamed “she’s f*cking 3 years old! All she knows is that, "Daddy doesn’t want to play with me".
By the way, he didn’t have kids. Though he didn’t have an issue serving up some unsolicited parenting advice.
He continued to tell me that success takes sacrifices and he "understands" me because he and his girlfriend spent a few months apart when he got his promotion.
“In order to get to this side of the desk, you’ll have to make some tough decisions”, he told me.
The funny thing is, I had already made my decision.
The only decision that remained, was what the title of my resignation letter would be.
To be clear, I wasn’t resigning because I didn’t get the transfer. I knew instantly when he made those comments, that our ideology didn’t align.
It wasn’t going to work for much longer, regardless.
Although being on “that side of the desk” was important to him, it didn’t mean anything to me.
I didn’t want to be on that side of the desk, that was his idea of success, not mine.
My idea of success was watching my little girl grow up, not sleeping through it.
