LFWPLI: Umar Kankiya, Developing a New Way to Parent as a Dope Black Dad

In this episode, Mathew and Umar discuss the differences and similarities of the struggles they experience as fathers and what it means to try to parent in a new way. Umar has always been one to challenge the status quo. As the first-generation son of Nigerian immigrant partners in the UK, he channels that determination into breaking generational trauma, creating a new way of doing things, and leaning into being a dope black dad for his two daughters.

Dope Black started in 2018 as a group message sent by founder Marvyn Harrison to his friends expressing that he was thinking of them and that he appreciated the work they did as fathers. He soon realized there was a need for connection and developed a network of communities aimed at creating a future where black people are better skilled, trained, and informed on the major issues and play a key part in the solution.

“It’s ok to mess up. It's just about how you deal with it and how you come back from that.”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

• How and why Dope Black was created and what they are doing to support people around the world 

Follow the podcast: 

• Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 

Connect with the guest:

• Dope Black Dads on Instagram 

Resources: 

• Lori Motola's Episode on Journaling 

Connect with Mathew Blades: 

• Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades

Mathew and Umar

LFWPLI: Larry Hagner, Practical Ways to Become the Parent and Spouse You Want to Be 

In this episode, Mathew and Larry discuss what it means to pursue Legendary Fatherhood and why, just like everything else, it takes practice to get good at it. Larry’s own father walked out on him twice but eventually, he moved on, graduated, got a good job, got married, and then realized he had become the kind of parent he never wanted to be. From that point on, he has dedicated himself to learning what it means to be a good father and husband who’s in it for the long run and is passing those skills on to others. 

“10 years ago I became the monster that I swore to protect my son against.”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

• Tools to create an environment where your kids feel safe talking to you

Follow the podcast: 

• Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 

Connect with the guest:

• https://www.facebook.com/TheDadEdge 

Resources: 

• https://thedadedge.com/ 

Connect with Mathew Blades: 

• Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades

* This podcast is not meant to serve as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or others, and is not a substitute for therapy.

www.learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com

LFWPLI: Kyle Dean Houston, Overcoming Addiction and Finding Redemption in Self Awareness 

In this episode, Mathew and Kyle discuss his journey from meth junkie facing two life sentences to a devoted father, loving husband, and VP of a $2 Billion company. After two years of hiding his past and surviving stage four cancer, Kyle realized he was living a life rooted in fear and decided to change. Now, he is on a mission to give purpose to the pain by helping others overcome the guilt and shame that is standing between where they are now and their higher selves. 

“It doesn't matter how far you fall. You can get back up.”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

• Why negative self-beliefs were causing Kyle to act out in destructive ways

Follow the podcast: 

• Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 

Connect with the guest:

• https://kyledeanhouston.com/meet-kyle/

Resources: 

• Overcoming Addictions by Deepak Chopra

Connect with Mathew Blades: 

• Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades

* This podcast is not meant to serve as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or others, and is not a substitute for therapy.

www.learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com

LFWPLI: Eric Tivers, Understanding Adult ADHD and Learning the Skills Needed to Thrive

In this episode, Mathew and Eric discuss the challenges of a late ADHD diagnosis and talk through some of the tools Eric has developed to help him overcome those challenges. After being considered a lazy child and struggling through his first few semesters in college, the fog finally cleared when Eric discovered he had an “invisible disability”. As a licensed clinical social worker, coach, podcaster, speaker, and consultant Eric is teaching others that with the right medications and mindset they can be the successful people they are meant to be. 

“In order to be successful with ADHD, you gotta be willing to bend the world to you.”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

• How ADHD impacts relationships

Follow the podcast: 

• Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 

Connect with the guest:

• https://www.adhdrewired.com/ 

Connect with Mathew Blades: 

• Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades

"Elsa has been to hell and back."  That was the opening line in an email her mom sent to our team. The email continues, "She has battled coming out, depression, anxiety and has used her tiktok account (@ElsaRobyn) to reduce stigma." 

Every now and again you meet a younger person with an old soul. Wise beyond their years, Elsa is that person.

TW: Abuse, Body Dysmorphia, Addiction, mention of suicide

In this episode, Mathew talks with Miss Teen Phoenix, Elsa, and her mother Jill about how they both learned that “it’s ok to not be ok”. By leaning into honesty and open communication with her mom and her peers, Elsa has begun to heal from abuse by an alcoholic father, debilitating depression and body dysmorphia, and the fear of coming out as a lesbian to her religious family and friends. 

We also hear how Jill feels about her daughter dealing with these issues and the gracious way she approaches parenting to facilitate healing for her family.

“Be who you are. Feel what you're feeling.”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

• How sharing her full truth on social media made Elsa see she isn’t alone

Follow the podcast: 

• Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 

Connect with Mathew Blades: 

• Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades

Suicidal ideation, sexual assault, domestic violence

In this episode, Mathew sit’s down with Ron Blake as he shares his story of overcoming suicidal ideation after he survived domestic abuse, a violent sexual assault, and ongoing harassment. After being reminded he still had laughter and hope inside of him while watching “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert”, Ron decided then and there to start taking small steps that eventually set him on the path of healing by sharing his story and hearing thousands back in return. 

“If you take a step and it's not what you need, then find something else. Keep going”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

• The power of a moment of hope, having a purpose, and starting with small steps

Resources: 

• National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) Statistics 

Follow the podcast: 

• Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 

Connect with the Guest: 

• http://blakelateshow.nfshost.com/ 

Connect with Mathew Blades: 

• Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades

Website - learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com/

In this episode, Mathew sit’s down with Len DeCarmine to talk about awareness, the challenges of being a modern man, and how to look inward to make the small changes that will improve your life. Len sees men in today's world suffering in silence and is passionate about creating spaces for them to create community, learn balance from each other, and be empowered in their relationships.

In this episode, you'll hear: 

• The tools that can help you build awareness

Resources: 

• Len’s Book: 1% More

Follow the podcast: 

• Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 

Connect with the Guest: 

• www.lendecarmine.com/

Connect with Mathew Blades: 

• Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades

LFWPLI: Marianne Gouveia, life after loss by suicide and finding healing at EricsHouse 

TW: Talk of suicide and addiction 

In this episode, Mathew and Dr. Dave talk with Marianne about the reality of suicide, the effects it has on people left behind, and how EricsHouse is helping people find healing.

Marianne’s youngest son, Eric, fell victim to suicide after an injury that lead him to develop an opioid addiction. She quickly realized there were very few resources to really help her deal with the pain, guilt, and despair she found herself left with. Eventually, she learned to approach her new reality slowly, found healing in community and conversation, and decided she would give life a new meaning. That journey lead her to create EricsHouse where people affected by the suicide of a loved one can find peer support, group support, and resources for holistic healing.

“One day you will hear their name and it will make you smile versus cry”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

• What led Marianne to create EricsHouse

Resources: 

• David Leicken, MD - http://ironwoodbehavioralhealth.com/index.html 

Follow the podcast: 

• Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 

Connect with the Guest: 

• https://www.linkedin.com/in/marianne-gouveia-6b32889 

Connect with Mathew Blades: 

• Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades

* This podcast is not meant to serve as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or others, and is not a substitute for therapy.

LFWPLI: Tony Rodarte, Breaking the Stigma and Improving Mental Health for First Responders

In this episode, Mathew and Tony discuss why he created Compassion Alliance and how the organization is supporting first responders on their journey to achieving optimal mental health. Tony retired from the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office after a 20-year career, with the last 11 years being in the homicide unit. 

Compassion Alliance provides trauma therapy for first responders all across the country. They confidently match people with a trauma therapist and pay for those services. They support first responders and their families through uncomfortable conversations and advocate for them in this changing and hostile environment. 

“You're not broken. You're bent.”

In this episode, you'll hear: 

• How regularly seeing trauma uniquely impacts first responders 

Follow the podcast: 

• Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 

Connect with the guest:

• https://compassion-alliance.org/

Connect with Mathew Blades: 

• Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades

* This podcast is not meant to serve as medical advice to treat any medical condition in either yourself or others, and is not a substitute for therapy.

LFWPLI: AnnaMaria Quagliata, Healing Generational Trauma from Within

In this episode, Mathew and AnnaMaria discuss how negative thoughts from childhood create the patterns we live in as adults and the power of the mind-body connection to facilitate healing. She tells the story of feeling inadequate as a child, finding herself in and then escaping an abusive marriage, and being a single mom of two young kids all while surviving cancer. 

Through a blend of clinical and traditional methods, she broke free from her trauma and is now able to help others find their own path to healing. AnnaMaria is a healer in every sense of the word.

"I would love to support anyone who is called to heal using a blend of conventional and folkloric modalities. I have experience with so many modalities and can support anyone just beginning their healing journey or even those who want to go deeper into their own heritage and lineage."

In this episode, you'll hear: 

• Tools to get control of your mind and make real changes in your life 

Follow the podcast: 

• Listen on Apple Podcasts (link: https://apple.co/3s1YH7h) 

Connect with the guest:

• [email protected]

Resources: 

• https://www.ourheartsenter.com/ 

Connect with Mathew Blades: 

• Twitter - twitter.com/MathewBlades

www.learnfrompeoplewholivedit.com